Milestones

I have not been very great with blogging lately - I have about a million posts to do, and I will be doing them a lot more soon, mostly because we have had a lot of milestones in the Herbert family the past few weeks and because of them I can start blogging more.

• Brock is potty trained! We started about 6 weeks ago - and after about 2 1/2 or 3 weeks I felt I could say "he is potty trained". There were a few days I wanted to do a post saying, "it's not working - HELP" - or just wanted to give up, but then it all turned around and he is doing great. The key for us was just 100% staying out of it - I never ask him if he needs to go - or tell him that he needs to go, if I stay out of it he is responsible, but if I get involved he uses me as a crutch and then we have accidents.
• I stopped breast feeding Noah. This one was just a few days ago, and I have mixed feelings. I am glad to be done - I have been either pregnant or nursing for over 3 years now and I am excited to give my body a break and hopefully regain some energy and gain some weight (about 10 or 15 pounds). But I will REALLY miss that alone - one on one - time with Noah. I now really feel like I have 2 little boys and no baby... when did that happen??
• We had Noah's one year appointment last week (even though he is not a year for another week) and he is in the 1 percentile!! He had only gained like .25 lbs in the last 3 months. Umm... can I still put him in a foreword facing car seat?? I really want to!
• Brock and Noah are now sleeping in the same room! I wanted to wait until I stopped nursing before we did this - I liked just having Noah awake in the mornings to nurse him before Brock woke up. So far they are doing good - but it has only been 2 days - but we are so excited to have our apartment back - hence the blogging.
• Jason's job officially ended on Friday... anyone know of a company needing a Human Resources rep?? We are bummed - but secretly excited to have him home with us during the days.
• Noah has 2 teeth - we thought he maybe just didn't have any teeth (Brock had 12 by the time he was one). But Noah now has 2 - and I cannot wait for him to get a whole mouth full so I can stop making baby food - fun for the first 3 months... then after that, just annoying (but worth it).
• A few quick Brock updates: Loves letters and counting, says the ABC's all the time, can spell his name, and can (usually) identify the letters: A,B,C,D,K,M,O,P,R,S,Y, and Z. He talks all the time and says the funniest things, his sentences are 6 or 7 words long and usually grammatically correct. He sings songs all day, mostly: wheel's on the bus, ABC's, Old McDonald, Amazing Grace, Old Man River, Be still My Soul, and Jesus wants me for a Sun Beam. He loves Noah and actively tells me what he needs and gets mad when he thinks I am not taking care of Noah very well, "Mom, Noah not want food, Noah wants binky." or "Mom, stop cleaning, Noah tired, put Noah sleep." or if Noah wakes up early and I tell Brock we are going to let him cry for a minute he says, "Not want Noah cry, go get him." then he proceeds to yell at Noah's door, "I come get you Noah, don't worry."

Boating

So I have actually decided that boating is my most favorite activity in the whole world. I didn't grow up with a boat - but we always went boating once or twice a year with my grandparents - and in the last 5 years (since I have been married) I have only been once or twice - but the boys and I got to go a few weeks ago - and I realized it was what my life was missing! (Is that dramatic enough for you!)

When I see people driving, pulling their boat behind them I think, "I hate you - I want to be you." It was just a quick trip with the wonderful Thomas' - we were only on the boat for about 15 minutes and I didn't get a chance to ski or really tube or anything - but it was just enough to make me happy and solidify what I already knew - I love to boat, I love the water, I love the air, I love the beautiful scenery - I love everything about it!

On a side note - for any of you boaters out there - check out Brock's life jacket - it is a new design - "Coast Guard Approved" - it was awesome! He swims in it great and it is so comfortable and it doesn't hit their chin or anything - the only catch is they have to be 30 lbs - sorry Noah :(

Both the boys really loved the boat. Noah would only cry when the boat stopped - he loved to sit right on the bow (like Leo in Titanic) and have the wind in his face.

Pictures

I finally went and got the boy's pictures taken at JC Penny's - they are fast and cheap (notice how I didn't say good!) It was supposed to be Brock's two-year-old pictures and I got some taken of Noah just because we were there.

The photographer was HORRIBLE! He was this 18 year old boy that stood there holding the camera and said, "Brock, stand on the X, fold your arms, look at me and smile." I said, "um... two year olds don't really respond to that kind of direction, how about we do _____?" He kept saying, "I don't know, we don't really do that kind of stuff." I was so frustrate I was almost in tears. Brock is so dang cute (I think) and it broke my heart not to get a good two year old picture. Since it was HIS photo shoot I got one for free.

This was the best... lame!

I got two of them together - he wanted Brock to hold Noah for the pose... um... no. Hello - Noah crawls, Brock is 2. That would not work. I had to pose them and get them to look and smile. Pathetic - there is a reason I have not jumped on the "momphotog" bandwagon.

On the other hand I got some good ones of Noah, so I feel bad being so negative. Except for he didn't get any of Noah smiling - which he smiles ALL THE TIME - so... come on! And these weren't even Noah's pictures. But they were pretty precious so I had to get some.

I complained after to the manager (which I normally NEVER do - I usually very passive) - and she was like, "oh I am sorry that is too bad."

My wife

This is Jason, Jamie's wife. I rarely check her blog; usually to make sure she isn't giving away too much important information. I'm positive this is the only post I'll ever make on it and she doesn't know I'm doing this so please don't tell her. I simply needed to make everyone aware of how much I love and respect everything that she does for me.


My wife is everyting I wish I was and certainly the only good thing about me. We only have two things in common, our fierce independence and an ability to talk about the gospel. Dispite the lack of mutual interests she always makes time for me to engage in my hobbies and always finds the courage to engage in her's independent of my support, for which I am sorry. She is more intelligent than she gives herself credit for and usually wins all of our gospel discussions. She is kind and thoughful of others. She is constantly giving of herself and I can't ever recall one complaint she may bear consistently, or any complaint for that matter.


She raises two extrememly energic boys pretty much by herself. I don't get home unitl 5 and they go to bed at 8. Add some time for dinner and it should be obvious that I only have enough time to teach them bad habits like hitting each other or tripping each other. My boys are clean and healthy. They are obedient and extremely smart. They love to read books and sing songs and are so friendly with everyone. She has done all of this while making sure they get exposed to the outside world through walks and duck pond trips and journeys up the canyon. They can tell you stories about the gospel and know how to take the sacrament. One of Brock's favorite books is the bible and he often wants to read scriptures. She is the best mother I could want for my children.


I am a difficult man to live with. I am extremely intelligent and worse, I know it. I am independent and stubborn. I am also commonly angry about something or someone. Dispite all this, she loves me. I honestly feel her love and know that is supports me. To think someone as precious and important as her could love someone as insignificant and recluse as me gives me hope and a conviction to do better. She is everything I am not and everything Christ wants from us. As many have read she is wiling to admit her shortcomings and as she didn't post, her loss of faith in the face of our trials is never as severe as she claims. She is strong like Oak and nobly erect in the face of the destroyer. I know I married up and I'm constantly afraid that my good fortune hinders her; like I stole her away from a much better man who has many more important things to do and could have used her support and love for better things.


The truth is I needed her more. She is everything to me. I'm so afraid she'll wake up one day and realize she can do better. Her love has seen me through my darkest days. I can not remember life before her and I do not want to think of a life without her. The friends and family who read this blog are lucky to know her and have her in their lives. She is a well of compassion, strength, and clean living. A true friend in a societal sea of deceit and banalities. I am forever blessed to have this time with her. I miss her when she is gone from me. I am more at peace when she is with me. I love her and I hope that you do too because she is special. Once in a lifetime moment special. A breeze that comforts you; a warmth you internalize rather than just feel before it moves on into another fleeting moment. I love her.

Some humble pie

"The trial of faith basically serves four functions. 1) it determines if a goal you are seeking is truly a desire; 2)it lets you learn if you are really dedicated to the Lord; 3)it is a means of purging you so that you become clean; pure, and spotless - literally free from blood and sins of the world; and 4) it humbles you and brings you to the realization that you cannot rely on the "arm of the flesh."

- Drawing on the Powers of Heaven

Grant Von Harrison

I actually own this book but have not read it in years - and then this quote was quoted in Sacrament meeting - wow - guess I failed that trial of my faith. Good thing for repentance... right!

I know it is sometimes hard to see the forest through the trees - but I always knew the forest was there. For those of you wondering (and could not read into my sarcasm), I never really lost my faith, I thought I made that clear. I have always known everything would turn out ok - but sometimes I just want it on my timeline and not the Lords - big mistake. I hope I am not the only one that falls into that trap sometimes?? It is funny writing these two blog posts while simultaneously my friend Ashley is writing post about her undying faith in her Heavenly Father - as he has recently asked them to go through hard trials. She has always amazed me and continues too. On any other given week I could pronounce the same undying faith - but I guess on weeks like this is when it really counts.

I am disappointed in myself that I gave into my self-indulgence to accuse my Heavenly Father of not caring or not keeping his promises - nothing could be further from the truth. I had mistakenly thought that I had had my trial of faith and that I was awaiting the blessings that follow - so when they did not come- I thought I was abandoned... not realizing it was another trial of my faith, and I am sure there will be another and another and yet another - until I get it right. And for that I am grateful; he lets us continue to try... how merciful, because I sure deserve to be "struck down."

So here is the summery: I know Heavenly Father lives, I know he loves me, I know he has a plan for me, I know his plan will ultimately lead to happiness, I know he listens to me and cares about me, and is involved in my life. I am just not sure what that plan is, I am not sure if his plan is the same as my plan, and I am currently nervous that there are a lot more bumps in the rode before we get the the aforementioned "happiness". But that is what life is right?

Faith

Warning - this is a negative post, as I am in a negative mood - just trying to stay true to myself.

There is a scripture (don't want to find the reference right now) that says something to the affect of "quench not the spirit". When you re in a very faithful/spiritual period in your life you may wonder, as I have, "who would quench the spirit? Why would you ever not want the spirit to speak to you?" Well I am beginning to understand why the warning is given, because right now I know I am quenching the spirit - and willingly too. (Just to make things clear.)

For me I have found that the desire comes when I feel like I have been betrayed by the spirit. Without getting into too much personal detail - When, after prayers, study, fasting, temple going, obedience, and a lot of pondering, I feel as though I have had an actual conversation with my Heavenly Father, and I know EXACTLY what he wants me to do, I know what the terms are, I know what the blessings are, I know what has lead me up to this point, I have received answers to my prayers, and I just know. And this knowledge gets reconfirmed time and time again. And then... nothing. I don't get it, I don't get the blessing I thought for sure I was going to get, I don't get the opportunity I felt was right, and I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me, and I feel completely betrayed. I am left wondering, "what happened? Where did I go wrong? Did I actually feel the spirit prompting me to do those things or was it just thoughts of a "frenzied mind"? Do I even know what the spirit feels like? Have I ever known? Does Heavenly Father even listen? or answer?" The answer to my questions are always yes, which I think is worse. To know that I really did feel the spirit and it really did speak to me and it really did tell me to do that thing - but I was just not going to get the blessing I thought I was going to get. Then I just feel lied to and betrayed.

So today, as I have been asking myself these questions and trying to figure it out, I have felt the spirit try to tell me (what I already know), that God does love me, that he is aware of me, that he has a plan for me, and that everything will work out for my good on His time. But you know what? I do not want to hear that right now, for now I just want to be mad and say, "what the heck! We had a deal." I guess I want to "quench the spirit."

I am fully aware that this attitude will get me no where, so please NO comments about it - I just wanted to vent for a minute.

Told you it would be negative.