The Herberts: Parenting

My thoughts, feelings, rules, etc on parenting and child rearing. I for sure don't know everything - and make most of it up as I go along. But I am thoughtful in my parenting and most, if not all, things I do have purpose. So if you care. I will share my opinions. And I might throw in a few observations on marriage or womanhood in general. Read at your own risk! (new ones are at the top - older ones at the bottom)

2024

Advice i gave on mothers facebook page:

When my kids were really little i felt like I saw a lot of women who didn't have kids home during the day but were always to "busy" to do other things. While I might have been to judgy at the time because I now realize how hard and busy it is to have teenagers, but at the time I made myself a promise that when I got to the phase of all my kids in school I would use my time intentional, and recognize that it was MY time and I got to choose how to use it and I wouldn't just be "to busy" all the time to help or do "other" things, than just the things on my to do list. Like I said, I learned that 7 hours goes by really fast, but I had 3 years of kids in school and I didn't work before I had another baby and I honestly felt like I did a pretty good job. There were days I did everything I had planned to do that day and got my check list done. There were days that I got nothing done I had set out to do, but I did what the Lord wanted me to do, (someone asked me to babysit, or a friend stopped by who needed to talk to someone, etc) - I never wanted to be so busy those things annoyed me. I felt like I wanted Heavenly Father to be like "Wow, Polly really needs someone to talk to, but who could just sit and listen to her for 4 hours? Since Jamie has chosen to stay home and all of her kids are in school for the next 5 hours, I bet if Polly knocks on her door she will talk to her." I felt like Heavenly Father blessed me so much with my situation I wanted Him to know I would answer those calls.

Then there were days I got nothing accomplished, either because I PLANNED to take the day off, or because I didn't want to do my checklist and I just binge watched a show on Netflix for the whole 7 hours. I genuinely didn't feel guilty about those days because all of the above statements were true. You can't just be "awesome" all of the time.

Basically my schedule was this:
Monday: Deep clean the house
Tuesday: Errands/appointments
Wednesday: Service (I went to the temple, did VT, go to lunch with someone who needed a friend, offered to babysit for someone in the ward OR sit at someone's house while their littles napped so they could run errands, etc)
Thursday: Project day. Sort of a free day, I picked what I did but it was supposed to be project driven - like planning a vacation, an organization project, gardening, sometimes it was tackling the to do list of randomness.
Friday: FREE DAY! I would do a quick spot clean of the house (about 40 minutes). And then I would do what ever I wanted. It might be a social day where I meet friends for breakfast or lunch (or both), enjoy a hobby, or just spend the day laying in jammies, eating cookie dough, and binge watching something. Sometimes I only let my self have a "free Friday" if I ACTUALLY followed my schedule the above 4 days. If a day got missed because I didn't do it, a snow day, a sick kid, I was sick, or something else weird happened - I just skipped the day. Didn't clean on monday? welp, guess I am not cleaning until next monday. It worked better to just write it off and move on than try to catch up (obviously you can't just not go to the store, so somethings you will have to try again)

As far as daily schedule:
Depended on a few things. Some years I woke up before my kids and went to the gym and then got home and got them off to school. Some years I went right after I dropped them off. Some years I didn't go to the gym. If I wasn't going to the gym after drop off I had a goal to get ready with my kids and eat breakfast with my kids and have the kitchen dishes done. That is a tall order and I rarely got all 3 done, but my main goal was to send the kids off happy.
Anyways I chunked my day
Before kids left: get kids up and all get ready, have kids do jobs, breakfast, family prayer and scripture (I read to them while they ate), pack lunches, clean up kitchen
Before 10:30: Personal prayer and scripture study, spend 20 minutes on house chores, plan my day, figure out what i am making for dinner, spend 20 minutes working on "to do" list
between 10:30 - 3:00 I did what ever "theme" it was for that day (the above weekly schedule)
3:00 - 3:45 Dinner prep, emotionally prepare for children to come home

2023

Advice I give on my mothers Facebook page.

You have a lot of great advice, and I’m just gonna double down on some and give a few others. I have so been there, I had four kids under four and my husband was working evenings. This stage lasted for many years as having a 3 4 5 and 6 year old was still just as hard as a 1 2 3 and 4 year old. Now they are 12 13, 14 15 and it’s still pretty hard! Ha but in such a different way! I also now have a two and three-year-old, but I don’t feel like I am where you are anymore and haven’t been for a long time. If you can manage to have some vision, you can really help your older children to learn how to help you so that you can continue to have more children and have a joyful home. (I say “manage to” because I understand that takes a lot of emotional energy and sometimes we just don’t have that. - but try)
1- don’t make dinner during dinner time. Meal prep as much as you can earlier in the day.
2- this sounds like you can’t do this (especially if it is your first) but you really can. Don’t do homework. Just tell the teacher. I PROMISE it will be fine. If you think they need to do homework cuz they are struggling in school then just work on those things on weekends or when littles are to bed and don’t have it be homework, just work together on what he needs help with.
3- it is ok to have screen time during this stressful part. If you are Anti screen time (I mostly am) then have it on a tv (way better for their brains than a hand held device or computer) and there are wonderful shows that they will like (pbs kids, nature documentaries, church videos, etc).
4. Don’t make it a goal for your kids to not see you stressed and overwhelmed. Those are human emotions and it is good for them to see it, learn empathy, and react accordingly. It was so nice to see my kids get old enough to recognize that I was overwhelmed and stressed and to try and ease that burden. Now that they are older and our toddlers are being difficult and I’m trying to make dinner, they will all naturally come in and either just start doing something to help me or ask “what can I do to help” (I trained them to ask that question) or take the toddlers and play with them. A family is where we learn how to be good people and they don’t need to think that their mother is a perfect superhero who never needs help, or never needs forgiveness, be quick to apologize, model for them repentance, and humility.
5- as for your school age children only seeing you when you’re stressed, I feel you. Put the little ones to bed first and spend time with the other ones doing some thing that makes you feel like a good mom. I know that could be hard because you’re probably very tired and you may have a long list of things to do. Doesn’t have to be big, fancy, but just connect.
6. However, I would also try to find other little ways throughout the day to just connect for even a second. Let your oldest sit in shotgun with you, while you drive around the neighborhoods, once they started doing this, I found a deeper level of connection with them. Ask them questions about things that you don’t care at all about that they care a lot about, and look in their eyes while they talk to you and really listen and ask questions. Give long hugs every day. as they get older learn to joke around and be silly with them. Appreciate the help that they do give to the Littles.
7. Repent. Repentance is wonderful. And daily present repentance is life-changing. ask Jesus to be on your “rearward”, and mend the hearts of your children, ask him to “sew your seeds of righteousness.” He will. He can help your children remember the good and forget the bad, he can help them learn the lessons they are supposed to learn from your home. He can make beauty from the ashes of your day (and your motherhood). He is that powerful and that good. This is accomplished through daily repentance.
Good luck! It gets so so much easier. Hang in there!
(Oh, ask for help - i had a 13 year old neighbor come help during some of those times - it ended up being a huge blessing for her as well now that she is a young mother). Get on the same page with your husband about what he can do as soon as he walks in the door)

I guess I don't have as much advice with teens. I am figuring it out. haha

People don't like sports and activities as much because it takes time away from the family. We always try to make it as much of a family activity as possible. We go to each others games, practices, performances, etc. Everyone goes.

2017
Like many parents of my generation we are very aware that we were given the admonition 2 years ago by Elder Russel M. Nelson to raise a "sin resistant generation". At first that task seemed so overwhelming and almost impossible. Those feelings are then either heightened or eased (I am honestly not sure) by the knowledge that this is a prophetic statement and that all of human kind have been looking forward to a "sin resistant" generation. But how? how? how?

Well... I have been doing a lot of studying, pondering, and praying, and while I don't have the exact answer, I have direction and I have peace.

Sis. Joy D Jones spoke more on this topic and added that sin resistant is not sin proof. I sort of thought, "well, that's not true, she is splitting hairs and trying to "dumb down" the admonition." But then, as I humbled myself, and asked the Lord, I realized how true her statement is.

Now this is the gospel according to Jamie. I could give a bunch of quotes and scriptures to back up some of what I say, but that would take too long. So I am just going to dump my thoughts.

What is the difference between sin-resistant and sin-proof? I am going to use an analogy - now I don't know if this is really accurate and the analogy is quite flawed but it helps give me a visual. But I think about technology. Now if something is "water proof" - water doesn't' really touch it, it kind of slides right off it. I am thinking about coats, or blankets that you spray with scotch guard or have special stuff on them. The rain won't bother them. But if something is water resistant it gets covered in water - but it doesn't bother it. Like maybe an underwater camera. It can be immersed in the water, covered in water, water can go in it and through it but it doesn't break it.

I think it is how we react to sin that gives Satan the real power. Think about the garden of Eden. When did Satan really gain power over Adam and Eve, was it the eating of the fruit? Is that what made them ashamed and want to hide from God? I don't think so. It was the fact that they were naked - which had NOTHING to do with the eating of the fruit. Satan connected it, THEN they felt ashamed, THEN they hid. Sis Jones goes on to say that sin resistant mean continually repenting. Which means...continually sinning, but maybe, the sin doesn't bother them. Not in a bad way, like they aren't bothered by sinning and like doing it. But they accept what happened, that it is part of mortality, repent, brush it off, and keep going - instantly. Not giving Satan that power of the next step - being ashamed of the sin. Just repent, turn to the Savior and keep trying. Don't let it stop you, or turn you from the path you are on. Take Satan's power away from the sin.

Our culture LOVES the strippling warriors. Why? Because they were so faithful, and obedient, and becasue not one of them died. But ALSO EVERY SINGLE ONE was seriously wounded, and some fainted for loss of blood. SERIOUSLY wounded - but not dead. I think that is a pattern for our children for sin. Everyone will sin, everyone will get seriously wounded, but it doesn't have to kill us. Don't be ashamed that you got seriously wounded, that is part of this life. The stippling warriors were not less because they got wounded. Just don't give up. Don't let that lessen your faith and obedience. Sin resistant is continually repenting and not letting the sin change who you are, let repentance change who you are.

Turns out I have no idea what I am doing!

My boys are/were great. They are/were logical, calm, sensible, and generally easy. Part of is it that they came that way, but I really believe that Jason and I put great effort to raise them that way. We were logical and consistent in almost everything we did with them - even when they were babies. I believe that our parenting produced good results. I judged parents of girls. I saw their girls acting dramatic and emotional. I thought, "they must have taught them to act like that, I will raise my girls like my boys". ha. Girls are different than boys, we raised them the exact same way and got... dramatic and emotional girls. To be fair, they are not as bad as they sound... but they are not the boys. This problem has irked us for the last few years... how do we make them more like the boys? The answer came to me one night. "Girls are not boys, I did not create them the same. You claim to believe that the sexes are unique and eternal and only complete when they are united as one. So raise them as such. Stop trying to make the girls act like the boys. This is my design. Girls are more emotional, that makes them also more caring and compassionate. They are more dramatic, it makes them passionate and care about the little things in life. Take their weaknesses and help them learn to harness their emotions for the better, but please don't turn their emotions masculine, the world is already trying to do that. Boys are logical for a reason. Girls are emotional for a reason. Have faith in my design." I have not mastered this yet. But this is my new goal. And for all you mothers I judged with girls - I am so sorry. :)

My Mother in law asked me to type of my advice to my sister in law about new borns. She wanted me to organize it into 4 categories: eating, sleeping, pooing, and playing. I am going to just cut and paste the whole thing here.
Eating
·         At the hospital most (well meaning) nurses will offer you a nipple shield to help you nurse. DO NOT TAKE IT. Try several times and with a lactation specialist before you use it (even once). It is a beast to wean the baby off of and you do not want to use it forever.

·         In my experience using a bottle the first week of life WILL screw up nursing but using a binkey will not.

·         I didn't learn this until my FOURTH baby but your milk supply is greatly affected by how often you nurse/pump between the hours of 11 pm and 4 am. It is sad to know that - but if your milk supply is low pump a lot during those hours and it could double it. Also get your calories and drink a lot of water.

·         Nursing is hard work. There are so many factors, especially the first week. You will cry, you will feel like a freaking vending machine, you will know that you cannot do it one more time… but it is so worth it and you will love it - if you can push past that.

·         Once nursing is established give a bottle regularly - I did not with my first two and it sucked. They need to be able to take a bottle - mama needs some rest and some time away.

·         If you are going with a manual breast pump - go with Advent… hands down. It is the most expensive but worth every penny (and this comes from someone with NO money). I tried 4 different brands and they did not do half as well as Advent.

·         Save ALL your milk. If you have a lot of milk in the beginning you might start throwing it away after the first 20 milk bags. Do not do this. Your body will regulate after a few weeks and it will be really hard to get any extra milk to give to dad or babysitters. So whatever I got in the first few weeks is what lasted me the rest of the year.

·         Write down your minutes. When, how long, and what side. Put a rubberband on the arm that you nursed on first and switch it the next time. You think it will be easy to remember. It will not be.

·         The first week (or so) I believe in demand feeding - feed them whenever they want too. But after a while be careful that they are not "snacking" all day and all night. They all really want to do that (who doesn't??) but it trust me - you do not want them too.

·         Babywise is a really good book to read. I do not believe in their whole philosophy and there are a lot of things I disagree with, but they have a lot of really good ideas that make sense. I feed my babies the way they recommend - I do not sleep my babies the way they recommend.

·         Once your ready for spoon feeding I highly recommend making your own baby food. I have a lot of reasons for this and tips - I have actually taught a few classes in my community. Once you are there and if you care - give me a call - I can email you my handouts.

Pooing

·         Huggies wipes are by far the best. I have no preference to diapers - although I hated pampers.

·         Make sure the elastics are pulled out around their bum after you put the diaper on - this might seem obvious but to us it wasn’t and Brock kept peeing all over us.

·         If she is blowing out of three consecutive diapers go up a diaper size REGARDLESS of what the weight says on the package.

·         When you do have a blow out and she is wearing a onesie you have two good options: 1) unsnap and roll the onesie up from behind - this will make laundry a little more difficult because you are spreading the poo but will keep it from getting all over her hair and arms or 2: take it off from the shoulders (that is a reason the neck is that way) and slide it off her feet (if she is a kicker she might kick at the exact moment to get it all over her feet though).

·         Don't use baby powder. I don't know why they even still sell it. It will just make it worse. The best diaper rash cream that I found is A&D. There are other good ones that are more expensive - but A&D will do the trick and isn't THAT much. Do not use Desitine.

Sleeping

·         Read (or watch)(or both) "happiest baby on the block" (check your library they will have it). Best advice EVER. Our pediatrician recommended it to us after we had Brock and it changed everything.

·         You cannot swaddle them too tight. Jason is a master swaddler and I would suspect that Jared could have the perfect touch as well. If you need any help have Jared call Jason. He has instructed many of our new parent friends and have solved a lot of problems. The tighter the better. Waffle blankets are the best swaddle ones - although now they have blankets with Velcro that are made for a tight swaddle - I never used them but I have heard people L.O.V.E. them)

·         If she is like Houdini and can get out of swaddles try a stretchy blanket (like a waffle one) to get it really tight and then a non stretchy one (like a flannel one) around to keep her from moving. This worked wonders with Madison.

·         Obvious: Sleep when she sleeps

·         You will sleep through the night again. I promise. When Brock was 10 days old a friend came over to check on me who had a baby 5 months before. She just simply said, "you will sleep again." I immediately started to cry, I didn't believe her - but it was so comforting to hear her say that. And she was right.

·         Do not let her "cry it out" until she is at least 4 months old. I have a lot of family and friends with a lot of babies, and trust me, you cannot spoil a new born. I have friends that let their days old or weeks old babies cry it out - they are just fussier and fussier and even worse toddlers. I think it has something to do with their security or something. It seems hard but it pays off huge in the end if you can just meet their every need in the beginning. (Full disclosure: As I am writing this my 18 month old has been crying for a good 20 minutes now because she woke up from her nap - eventually you can let them cry J)

·         Don't get too hung up on "bad habits" in the first year. It is all about survival. Everyday is a new day and habits are not hard to break pre 15 months. After 15 months you will have a fight on your hands - but before that just do what works best for you. If your decision is intentional then go for it - even if your neighbor, mother, friend (or this letter) told you not too. (I know plenty of people who ended up having their babies sleep on their stomach and it was ok).

·         EVERYTHING is a stage in the first few months. So try really hard not to stress or get too worked up over something. They will sleep great for a few nights, then wake up every hour for the nixt few nights. It ebs and flows and it works best if you can just roll with the punches and not have too many expectations.

·         If she is waking up a lot and you don't know why. Try watching her. It takes a little sacrifice (I did say sleep when she is sleeping) - but just stand and watch her. Impressions and ideas will come to your mind as you watch her sleep and watch her as she wakes up - why did she wake up? Maybe a pillow would help? Maybe a tighter swaddle? Maybe a looser one? Maybe on her side? Maybe a different brand of binkey? You'll see her struggle for whatever she wants and an idea will come to you on how to fill that desire.

Playing

·         For the first few months just go with tummy time, your face, books, whatever . It's not hard to play with a new born.

·         I really push to get my kids to sit early. I like to start at 4 months. It is the only thing I push. I always feel guilty when they are just laying around while I am doing something else. When they are awake I always felt like I should be holding them and playing with them - not always practice. But once they sit they can self entertain and play with toys and they don't actually look bored. Plus if they sit early then they are sitting - but not mobile for a good 3 - 4 months. You set them somewhere - they are happy as a clam - and they are still there when you come back. Those are good months.

·         Don't be afraid to get out. It is hard, it is overwhelming, and it often seems not worth it. But you gotta do it. You have to figure it out. We are stronger than we think we are. Even when it is just too hard - do it any ways. (That advice actually applies to ALL of motherhood.)

·         Sad I don't have a lot of advice for play - well I am kindof just thinking about newborns. 12 months through 5 years I could write a book - so if you get there and care… just ask.   Mostly just do what feels natural (unless putting them in a bouncer and watching tv all day feels natural… in that case… do something else J (just kidding you can totally do that with your first for the first couple months))

Noah has been really bad lately with his whining, negativity, and defiance. He had to argue about everything and be really really defiant in his responses to me. I am trying to be a model to him of calmness, control, and consistency. I need to show him how to control his emotions by the way I control my emotions.
If my children are all a little "off" - chances are the house (toys) are a mess and in chaos. If we take 10 minutes and clean it up, they all act better. I have found that chaos in the environment often leads to chaos in behavior. Most studies will back up my observations.

I read this on a blog I read about consistency - especially with whining. It has really influenced me.

"Be kind. Don’t provoke your brother/sister. When they ask you not to do something, don’t do it.

Think of others not just yourself. Don’t be selfish. Share your toys.

I know that spaghetti is not your favorite meal, but we need to practice being thankful anyway.

No, you can’t have a snack. We’re going to eat dinner in just a few minutes.

Yes, you do need to pick up your toys. If you leave them lying around they will get broken. We need to take care of what we’ve been given.

These are just a few of the phrases I say over and over again every day with the children.

It frustrates me.

No matter how often I say the words, I feel like they never seem to sink in and produce results.

After one particularly challenging day I poured my heart out to my husband feeling very discouraged and at my wit’s end as a mom. And, while it wasn’t the answer I was expecting, he shared something very encouraging to me.

They need to know that the answer is consistent. That no matter how many times they ask, the answer will essentially stay the same.

Sometimes the constant questioning, asking the same thing over and over, is because they are getting it, not because they’re not getting it. They’re learning what I’m teaching, and they want to see if it’s consistent. The consistency, the search for truth, can be much of the reason behind the constant asking.

But not always, sometimes it’s something else, like whining or complaining, and those must be addressed, but I was really struck by what my husband had observed regarding consistency. It changed my perspective actually, because instead of feeling discouraged and frustrated, I’m now more encouraged because I can see that they’re learning, they’re testing out truth, they’re reasoning and making choices.

They’re building a frame of reference, which made me see my seemingly trivial answers in a whole new light.

My consistency builds trust.

My consistency shows reliability.

My consistency establishes parental authority necessary for close and healthy parent-child relationship.

Consistency in parenting is HUGE. I sometimes struggle with remembering just how important it is, because it can be so exhausting.

It’s challenging to be consistent and not give up! Consistency not only builds trust, shows reliability, and demonstrates authority, it also sets necessary boundaries, shapes perception, and shows love.

When I am not consistent in what I say, what I do, and how I respond, it frustrates my children. They don’t know what to expect. They can’t build a frame of reference, perceive situations accurately, or learn trust.

They may begin to question my authority as their mom, my love for them, and even more importantly God’s love for them.

What we say, what we do, and how we respond to a given situation is what young children build on for themselves. They need to be able to trust us, that we do what we say, that what we say is what we do, and that what we do is based on truth.

That’s consistency."

The more confidence I have in my children, the more confidence they have in themselves.

If I can manage - getting up BEFORE my kids makes all the difference. (I didn't start doing this until Megan was about 9 months - before that my philosophy was to NOT wake up until my kids did - got to change with the times)
When things get hard - and I want to either lock myself in a room or yell at someone I say this quote in my head (sometimes out loud) " Mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children." -Julie B. Beck, conference April 2010. It helps me remember that it is ok for all my children to be clamoring for attention at the same time - and that is NOT what chaos is - it is how I respond to the clamoring that is chaotic and drives away the spirit.
I also say to myself "one day I will miss this". Sometimes I say that one over and over again.

I have yet to find a problem that 100% consistency doesn't fix (if it is developmentally appropriate - that is key). It may take a long time - but if I really am 100% consistent - the child has always followed suit.
The newborn stage can be easier if I just let go and roll with the punches. They change all the time - so I can't worry much about what they are doing right now. If I am crazy because I can't figure out a schedule or they are not sleeping or don't want to be swaddled or only want to sleep in my arms. I can't sweat it - it will change soon. I need to just enjoy the time with them and not worry about bad habits until around 10 months.
The more freedom I give my children and the more I trust THEIR judgment - even a newborns judgment - the better behaved they are. I have discipline problems when ever I try to control them. The more control or choices they think they have - the less they fight life and the less crazy they are.
The more tv my children watch the more whinney they are.
Schedule, schedule, schedule - this saves my life. From my newborns to my 4 year old. We eat, sleep, play, read, relax, go outside, run errands, etc at the same time everyday. Their are few exceptions. I believe this is the corner stone to our calm children.
The more "me" time I have and the more I am away from my kids - the more I want. I am a better mom and wife when that is all I am doing. If I am having a hard time I don't need time away or time to myself - I need to re-immerse myself in mothering and things get better.
Best marriage advice I ever got - give 110% expecting nothing back. Seriously - if you can do it, I mean really do it. It will work miracles.
I am a big believer in starting your baby on vegetables first and fruit much later. Some studies say it doesn't matter. But I am 3 for 3 on vegetable loving children. On that same line "they" say you sometimes have to offer a child something they don't like 11 times before they like it. It is true. That number sounds so crazy. But I have had babies not like spinach or asparagus or something crazy like that - and if I just kept having them try it - about 8 to 11 times later they then liked it.
If your baby is not staying asleep and you don't know why. See if you can take the time to watch them. The whole time. Several times. It helps to see them fall asleep, sleep, and wake up. What is waking them up? How are they moving? What is bothering them? What is uncomfortable? What will help? As I watch my babies sleep in their crib (with out them seeing me of course) I get a bunch of ideas on what would help them. It is always worth the time.

Documentaries everyone should watch

IOUSA - Best one yet. If you really want to understand the rhetoric going on in Washington right now, watch this - although it is several years old. If anyone knows of a current one - send it my way.
Forks Over Knives - Great documentary about food and will get you thinking about it in a whole new way
Walmart: The High Cost of Low Prices - Only see this one if you want to feel guilty about shopping at Walmart. I did - and now I do. But worth it.
Berynsky - About a new kind of cancer treatment. Trust me - it's better than it sounds.
Killer at Large: Why Obesity is America's Greatest Threat - Skip the first 30 - 40 minutes, then it gets really good.
Inside Iraq - After a million Iraq documentaries - this one is the best one. I thought it was very factual rather than partisan
Loose Change 9/11 - Conspiracy documentary - but its worth your hour and a half to get you to think outside the box.

Simple things that make me happy

2021 - The older kids naturally take care of Dane, with out being asked. When they get out of the car someone will unbuckle him and get him out and help him into the house, when we get in the car someone will naturally buckle him in, when we have dinner someone will naturally put him in his booster and put his bib on him.
2021 - I LOVE the hot sun. I love just laying on my floor when the sun is coming through the window, I love getting into a hot car in the middle of July, I love sitting outside with the sun beating down on me. I love it.
2021 - I love driving my kids around. I especially love driving them to school in the morning. We get to chat for a bit, it is some quiet time just with them, we usually listen to a conference talk and pray, it always makes me feel good.
2020 - watching Noah play with Eve. Noah loves babies in a different way than the others. When we decided to have more kids Noah was a big factor and everytime I see him with her I am reminded that this was the right thing to do.
2020 - Noah has started doing magic. I LOVE it. I have always loved watching Noah work on his "little things" and I just love watching him do his magic tricks.
2020 - No matter how bad I sleep, or what kind of night I have (whether pregnant or newborn) I wake up naturally at 6:00 full of energy and ready to start the day! I start to crash around 2 pm.
2020 - I never had spitty-uppy babies. I am so grateful for that!
2020 - I love that some of my kids can sit shot gun. It makes me feel like another adult is in the car with me. We have quiet conversations, tell jokes, and sing. I love it.
2020 - I love that Jason is working from home. I am so grateful for his unemployment a few years ago that allowed me to adjust my attitude and enjoy having him home. If I were trying to go through that along with all the kids being home and remote learning things would be so much harder. But now it is such a joy to have him home and I hope he never goes back to work.
2020 - I love taking a bunch of neighborhood kids with me where ever we go. To live my "fullest life" I would need a 16 passenger van. I just LOVE letting everyone jump in and having 15 or so kids with us on our outings.
2020 - I have learned how to have the Holy Ghost always with me and how to recognize and follow his promptings everyday. It has been such a blessing.
2020 - Facemasks keep my face warm!!
2020 - Everytime I am done with a blog book. And everytime one comes in the mail. And everytime I see one of my kids (or Jason) reading it.
2020 - Everytime Dane calls one of the kids by there nick names - Noah-boo or Megan-bug
2020 - Dane sings to himself. All our kids sang a little bit - but Dane is a singer.
2020 - Dane is currently repeating syllables in words, like cere-er-eal or letter factor-actory.
2020 - When I am at the park with just Dane or Dane and Eve and people assume Dane is my oldest and I tell them I have 6. It is my favorite thing!!!! I love their face, the awkward pause, the next sentence - it is always different... trying to find something to say. I find it all hilarious.
2019 - Watching my big kids take care of Dane. They love him so much and take such good care of him. It feels as though my mamma-heart will burst!
2019 - Taking Brock to Middle School. I thought I would hate having to leave early to take him. But I look forward to our drive together every morning - just the 2 of us. Also - he rides his scooter home. I love that he gets home first and that he roams the neighborhood and takes different routes each time.
2019 - Having Dane sleep in our closest. I love having him so close. Sometimes I am just overjoyed thinking about how I have this little baby in our closet.
2018 - When they were little, no matter how hard the day was or how short the nap was, when ever I walked into their room and saw them in their crib after waking up from a nap I instantly got a hormone rush of pure joy and happiness... every time. I get that same feeling when I pick them up from school - watching them walk towards the car. It is the exact same feeling - I realize how much I missed them and I can't wait to be with them again.
2018 - Talking to Noah about his comic or oragami - or what ever his new obsession is that week.
2018 - Having a yummy lunch waiting for me in the fridge.
2018 - Anytime my older kids are talking about the excitement of having a baby. Or when one of them asks how the baby is or how I am doing. All the fear of having another baby leaves and I am reminded of why we made this decision.
2017 - watching my sprinklers water my plants and grass - I like to watch the cycles and fiddle with the heads.
2017 - Watching my kids do what they love. Sometimes it feels like my heart might burst watching them play a sport or instrument or even playing with some toys or reading a book.
2017 - the moment a fresh raspberry hits my tongue I am instantly a child again eating raspberries at my grandparents house out in their garden. It is weird that my brain goes there - I had raspberry bushes all growing up and ate WAY more in my own garden then my grandparents, and I have eaten millions more raspberries in other situations - but for some reason my mind is instantly taken back to that moment.
2017 - Tending to my garden. (flowers - not vegetable)
2017 - sitting in my front porch chair, reading a book, while my kids play in the front yard.
2017 - playing catch (baseball) with my kids. I really enjoyed softball as a kid and am thinking of joining a league next year
2017 - Listening to NPR - it has become my new obsession
2017 - Finishing the Ensign before the next month comes.
2016 - waking up to Noah Practicing the piano - it just makes everything feel right. Actually even just having a piano in our home - it makes it feel like a real home. I love sitting down on Sundays and trying to learn a new hymn.
2016 - I love making things from scratch. I have discovered it is a true hobby - not something that I HAVE to do. I am so happy when I make yogurt, or bread, or granola bars. To be honest it is sometimes hard to WANT to do it - but once I get started I love doing it.
2016 - I have started doing family history. I have really loved it. This is not simple - but it makes me very happy
2016 - I have learned to love gardening - flower gardening anyways. I wish I had the money to spend on flowers, for now I just cultivate what I have (even though I don't like it). But I get a great sense of accomplishment after I give my front yard flower bed a good weeding.
2016 - Having my preschool all set up the night before preschool. I love having all the centers set up and imagining the children discovering the next morning.
2016 - After reading all the Narnia books as a family Megan has decided that she lives in Narnia. Her stories and experiences are so real and full of detail. I am starting to think she is actually visiting Narnia.
2015 - When Jason smiles.
2015 - Watching my children play in the backyard. I also love watching them play and laugh together.
2015 - Walmart to go!
2015 - Organizing the Legos. I kind of have an obsession with organizing Noah's Legos into categories. I find myself accidentally spending hours on it instead of making dinner or cleaning.
2015 - Having girls night with my neighborhood women.
2014 - Watching Noah crate with Legos. He has really gotten into it and is always working on something. Or I love finding his little creations all over the house when I am cleaning. It always puts a smile on my face.
2014 - walking through our "dining room"/play room and seeing Madisons dolls all "taken care of". Either tucked into their cribs - swaddled and with a stuffed animal or sitting in their highchair with a bib and a plate of food.
2014 - Our house has lots of big windows and lots of light. It is good for my soul.
2014 - Downton Abbey. I am always in a good mood after watching it.
2013 (Denver) - watching the squirrels play around in our trees.
2013 - When the blossmos on my pear trees finally make their arrival.
2013 - Watering my flower bed early in the morning or late in the evening - it is so peaceful and relaxing.
2013 - Watching the fish Brock got for his birthday. I have strong desires for those fish to have a happy life. I find myself just watching them.
2013 - Watching Madison play kitchen. She is so thorough - she even "washes and dries" her dishes when she is done and puts them all away. I often stop making dinner to watch her play in her kitchen.
2013 - Watching Brock run from the car to the back of the school to line up for school. He runs with intense determination and it always makes me smile.
2013 - The two times a year we really clean the inside of our cars (and by "we" I totally mean Jason)
2013 - The day after I do my big monthly shopping trip.
2013 - Seeing other women pregnant - don't really know why yet - it just makes me happy. Maybe just knowing that someone else gets to have a baby.
2013 - I think I may have just changed my life. I just worte up a whole new schedule for our days and posted it up on our wall. Color cordinated and everything. I have high hopes.
2013 - Having alone time with Noah everyday while the girls nap and Brock is at Kidnergarten. I have never had alone time on a consistant basis - our relationship is awesome now and I totally get him. It makes all the difference!
2013 - Driving in the car with all of my kids. LOVE seeing their faces in the rear view mirror.
2012 - When a diaper works the way it is supposed to
2012 - The sound of my children playing together. Whether it is just laughing or some elaborate imaginary play. I stop what I am doing all the time and just watch and listen.
2012 - The fact that everything my boys do is "awesome" - every move they make comes with a sound effect and super hero moves. They don't just run or walk any where, they are shooting webs, or repulsor rays or attempting some cool super hero stunt.
2012 - Looking in my rear view mirror and seeing all my kids
2012 - EVERYNIGHT after I get Madison to bed I make myself some sort of decadant dessert. It is my reward - and I plan all day what I am going to make and eat - it helps me get through the hard times. If I wasn't mormon I would be one of those mom's that has wine everynight. My brownie sunday is my escape.
2012 - A baby holding tight to my clothes while nurse. I could die!
2011 - When I have ice cream in my fridge. I actually don't eat it often - it just makes me happy to know it is there.
2011 - When I decide not to sweep my floor becasue it doesn't look too bad - and then I do sweep it and there is a ton of food. I feel so satisfied that it actually DID get swept up.
2011 - The fact that I can vacuum my whole house with out having to change the cord to a new outlet.
2011 - Specail K with Red Berries on sale for $1.50 a box!
2011 - My tv shows: Parenthood, the Good Wife, 30 Rock, How I Met Your Mother, and The Marriage Ref
2011 - I love seeing kids, tweens, and teenagers walking around neighborhoods in groups. It always puts a smile on my face because it reminds me of my childhood. And I feel better about the status in the world when children can be outside unsupervised.
2011 - I love love love going out to lunch. I don't really ever get to go - nor have I ever. I could count the number of times I go to lunch in a year on one hand. But every once in a while I go out with my family or friends - and it is my favorite thing. I love to eat out - and I find that I like "lunching" best. One fine day I imagine that my children will all be in school and we will have loads of money and I can spend my afternoons "doing lunch" with old friends. My treat of course!
2010 - Watching Noah "drive" little cars around the house. They drive on the walls, on the counters, and bookshelves, it is so cute - I could just sit and watch him do it forever.
2010 - Today (three days after giving birth) Brcok said to me, "Mom your tummy is all gone" I told him he should say that to every mom that has a new baby.
2010 - New anything. If I get anything new - even if it is like a dollar, I feel like my whole world has changed. I got 3 new shirts from Khols on Saturday ($9 total) - and my whole outlook on life has changed. I haven't had anything new to wear in a few years - so it is thrilling!
2010 - Megan is loving her saucer right now. I love when I am doing the dishes and I here music from her saucer - it instantly makes me smile becasue I know she just pushed a button. So cute!
2010 - Little things about my house make me so happy. Walking downstairs and seeing my kitchen counter, pulling into my garage, blossoms on my trees, opening my blinds in the morning to let in light, hearing my children play in the backyard.
2010 - Finding rocks, sticks, leaves, or berries (from the Jones' tree) in my washer. (Brock has discoverd his pockets.) It reminds me of the joy that is boys.
2010 - Doing laundry in my laundry room. I actually get excited about the laundry now!
2009 - When my kids are the first ones at the gym's daycare - I feel a little pride about getting up and to the gym before ALL the other mom's.
2009 - When Jason calls me a REALLY cheesy pet name like, "sugar plum" or "cupcake". (terrible - I know - but it always gives me butterflies)
2009 - When I take the time and effort to make me a great/healthy lunch on my OWN plate and I don't just eat the leftovers from whatever Brock did not eat off of his plate.
2009 - When I get ALL of the laundry done (folded and put away) all in one day.
2009 - The boys are now sharing a bedroom. I love when I hear them "talking" to eachother - even if they are supposed to be sleeping. It makes me feel like it is building a foundation for their friendship.
2009 - Sometimes after Brock is done playing with a toy (like blocks, cars, or his animals) when he is done he will put them all back in their container, put the container back in the cupboard, and shut the door before he gets out his next toy - all without me saying anything.
2009 - Putting in the numbers to our excel spreadsheet budget. I love to budget!
2009 - My new kick is M&M cookies - far superior to chocolate chip cookies.
2009 - If Brock eats EVERYTHING I gave him for that meal.
2009 - Hearing Noah babble. Oh...just thinking aobut it makes me giddy
2009 - Eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream while I watch the Biggest Loser.
2009 - Crossing a page off my scrappbooking list. (Or crossing ANYTHING off ANY of my lists (thanks Kar for getting me in the habbit of making lists :) )
2009 - Comments on my posts
2009 - Brock recently started to tell me that my dinners are "balicious" - it thrills me everytime
2008 - Whenever I hear Brock. Especially when he wakes up from sleeping. I will be cleaning or getting ready or something and I hear "ba ba ba" - I instantly smile!
2008 - When I find a random toy in a random place. Like a ball in my laundry or a car in my kitchen drawer.
2008 - When I am baking and I can easily use only one measuring cup and measuring spoon. Like my chocolate chip cookie recipe - I can make it only having to dirty a 1/2 cup, a 1/2 tsp, a butter knife, a spatula, the mixing bowl, and the mixing blade.
2008 - Just looking into Noah's eyes makes my heart swell.
2008 - I love when dinner is completely ready as soon as Jason comes home from work - I feel so successful!
2008 - Every time Brock flips through a book by himself and pretends to read.
2022 - anytime any of my four older kids spend anytime together.
2022 - I LOVE going to parent teacher conferences, or anytime I get to talk to any of my kids' teachers. I used to hate PTC, I would go out to the car and cry. But now... but now! it is wonderful. Especially for the boys. It is like a 2 hour gush fest on my boys. They love them. They see and acknowledge their weaknesses, but they recognize their strengths are so much greater. It is wonderful! Some of the best 8 hours of the year (1 hour per kid usually, twice a year))
2022 - I absolutely love being a stay at home mom. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity Jason and the Lord has given me. It is the best job in the world. It is incredibly hard, but I am humbled to be able to try and do it.
2022- watching my teenagers personalities come out. This has been so fun. Noah is such a delight. He always has something to talk about and share. He cares about what you care about and will talk about any topic, and if he doesnt know something you ask he will do research. He is also very kind and empathetic. Madison is becoming SO funny. She has a great whit about her and good timing. As with most teenagers, it is getting a tad too sarcastic and cutting, but hopefully she will balance out. Those are just a few examples. This is fun to watch!
2023 - I am going through a whole self discovery and it is great. Scary, but great. Getting older has been awesome and I am realizing things I never noticed about myself. It is pretty great.
2023 - I have learned (see previous example) that I love when Jason is in charge. When he takes the lead. When he "tells me what to do" (gasp). Even when I don't get my way, or what I want. It makes me push beyond my self centered life, it helps me learn patience, and more often than not, I end up seeing that Jason had the better idea. I never knew that I resisted it and that I needed it (our whole family needed it) This also makes me "happy" for repentance and forgiveness.
2023 - Brock having his license. The whole thing. I love his independence and sense of self. I love that he just goes and drives around. I love that he can get himself places and pick up food for himself and run errands for himself. And, of course, that he can run errands for me!
2023 - I really enjoy teaching my teenagers to drive. I find it so fun
2023 - My teenagers are so funny. Like genuinely funny. They have good timing and witty humor.
2023 - Heavenly father talks to my kids. I DON'T have to tell them everything!!! It is amazing! He will talk to them and they will listen!

Simple things that make me angry/frustrated/sad

2022 - I didn't understand how much puberty would change my children's faces. I was emotionally ready for them to turn from babies to infants to toddlers to kids to tweens. But from tween to teen!! ... it was like a death. Their faces fundamentally changed and I didn't see that coming. It really breaks my heart.
2022 - I am just realizing how young my kids were in 2017/2018 when Jason was laid off and Dane was born. At the time I thought they were big, in my minds eye I thought they were big. Only now I look back at pictures and see that they were still babies themselves. I regret not realizing that. I don't regret anything that we did or the way I treated them. I just wish I knew how little they really were
2021 - When people put their 18 months old in day care and call it preschool. If they are not 3 or 4 and it is more than 3 days a week for 2 -4 hours a time it is DAYCARE NOT PRESCHOOL. I don't care that they put their kids in daycare, just admit that. This isn't my soapbox, I studies early childhood education in college, there is a definition for preschool and a definition for day care.
2020- My kids are really into the game "Among Us", they talk about it a lot. EVERYTIME I sing "oooh, I believe there are angels among us." I sing it a hundred times a day. I can't stop.
2020 - the older my kids get the less I can buy things second hand. We are going to need to triple or quadruple our clothing budget in the next 2 years. It might break my heart
2020 - The fact the American flags have a connotation of racism right now. Many Trump supporters have started putting American flags on their pick-up trucks. These people are often also racists. It is sad.
2020 - Life is good until I need to change out my kids (and now babies) clothes. It is so overwhelming and is like a 20- step process and takes about 2 weeks (if I am fast at it).
2020 - It has been 6 months since covid and I still can't get rubbing alcohol - I need it for my DIY cleaning.
2020 - it can take me 45 - 60 minutes just to check Brock's schooling to make sure it is done. It is pretty ridiculous.
2020 - I HATE buying things on Amazon. I try SO HARD not too. I will go to 2 or 3 stores looking for an item before I buy it there. I will pay more for it at a brick and mortar store. What I hate MORE is feeling good that I bought something from Walmart instead of Amazon. That is pretty sad.
2020 - I don't hate a lot of people. But I HATE the congressman who moved daylight savings time back. I love daylight savings time and I hate that it got pushed to November. I LOVE waking up at 6 am to the sun.
2020 - Brock doesn't want to play soccer anymore :(
2020 - a 15 passenger van wont fit in our garage. I could live my best life if I had a 15 passenger van
2019 - Like most people I get frustrated with Congressional overreach - but I think was need a law that all newborn clothes need that hand covers that can be opened or closed. I mean - who makes newborn jammies and doesn't add that? :)
2018 - When a child says their room is clean and they REALLY believe it and it SO ISN"T!
2018 - I HATE that I have to call the school to tell them my kids is going to be absent. I get the logic - but I strongly feel like it is non of their business. I cold care less if an absent is excused or not and I don't think I should have to give a reason why they are absent. But I even resent having to tell them they are absent. It is pretty illogical - I know
2017 - There is no anger in the world like trying to put snow gloves on a child.
2017 - It took 13 years of marriage but I am now officially OVER broken down, second hand stuff. I have never ever bought a piece of furniture or a decoration for my home at a store - on purpose. Our whole house is given to us or from craigs list. EVERYTHING is broken. Nothing matches. Nothing is my style. It didn't bother me for 13 years becasue it was a sign of our thriftiness and responsibility. Now it just makes me feel mad and annoyed. Other women have nice stuff... why can't I have nice stuff?
2016 -Going to one of those "sales" parties (Mary Kay, Usborne Books, etc) and NOT having good food. Those things are hard enough - the least you can do is feed me - I am ONLY here to support you as a friend!
2016 - When I get behind on the news. It is very important to me that I watch the news everyday (NBC Nightly News) and if I get behind then I will catch up and watch a weeks worth of old news. It is kind of an obsession.
2016 - Almost all my "shows" have ended in the past, well, 5 years. And I haven't really replaced them. First 30 rock, then How I met your Mother, then Parenthood, then The Daily Show (most sad about), then Downton Abbey, and now The Good Wife. I am kind of purposefully not replacing them - I got into so many while I was pregnant (read: not DOING anything at nights) and nursing babies. I assumed I would get hobbies and get more done if I wasn't watching shows - but I just fall asleep watching NBC Nightly News at 8:45. Boo.
2015 - Snow plows that drive around with out the snow plow thing down!
2015 - All of the rules during recess at my boys school. I want to homeschool for that reason alone. No picking up snow! Only swinging with your bum on the swing facing the school! No climbing to the top of the jungle gym ladder! No sitting on top of the monkey bars! There is a picnic table that they are not allowed to even go by.
2014 - It has been 6 months since I have moved and if I think about my old backyard for more than 1 minute I am in tears. REAL tears. It was the heart of our home. I feel like our heart is gone. And i haven't even been here for a summer yet - I am in trouble.
2013 - When I think that we are FINALLY all ready for the day and everything on my "list" is done - and then I see my girls with their ratty hair and realize I STILL have to do their hair.
2013 - When I talk myself into "sleeping in" - I always regret it.
2013 - When I read the lesson for Relief Society and I get there and they are on a different lesson - BUT THE SCHEDULE SAID I was right!
2013 - The day before my big monthly shopping trip.
2013 - Ironing Jason's pants for work - trying to have the crease be perfectly down the middle and getting it right on every time. Super lame!
2013 - I have spent at least 10 years peeling potatoes and have never peeled off skin from my finger. I have done it now three times in the last 2 weeks to the point of drawing blood. What gives?
2013 - It is really hard to shuffle Candy Land cards!
2012 - Whinning. I don't even know if that is how you spell it. But it makes me crazy!
2012 - Taking 45 minutes to vacuum my whole house - I mean REALLY vacuum my house, only at the end to find out my filter was open the whole time and everything just fell out the back of my vacuum.
2012 - I got released from young womens. So so sad. My new calling is Cub Scout Master. Trying to get excited. Almost there. Just not the same.
2012 - Days that I have to wash my hair.
2012 - Children who obey their father more than me - or are perfect for baby sitters and then start whinning and fighting the moment I walk through the door
2012 - buying bandaids. there are like a million to chose from and I never end up getting the ones I wanted - I stand there for like 20 minutes, picking up each box, trying to pick the right ones. I never do.
2012 - Babies who think they can grow up.
2011 - When Jason says, "why did you let (insert kids name) do that?" Meaning mess something up or break something. I know he doesn't mean it the way it sounds (I hope) - but I am like "let them? You think I let them? I can't keep an eye on them 100% of the time - it just happened and he just did it - I didn't LET him."
2011 - Um... All THREE of my children were up by 6:15 AM - hard start to a day
2011 - The fact that I have been trying for over a week to think of something to put in my sidebar (confessions, happiness, or anger one) that has NOTHING to do with children, husband, or general house wife responsibilities and I can not come up with anything! (part of me could put this in my "things that make me happy" category, but when it boils down it is pathetic and this stage will end someday and there needs to be a ME left. So it goes in the anger category)
2011 - Sweeping up scrambled eggs and peas. They won't sweep right and just fall apart and get stuck in my broom
2011 - Not so simple - but I am updating our families 72 hour kits - and of course - I am planning for worst case scenarios. It is emotionally taxing. Imagining, "if we had to leave our home and had nothing, out in the "wilderness" what could I bring to provide my children with some comfort?" I get emotional thinking about my little children having to go through something like that. Then the pressure is on me to pack the "perfect 72 hour kit". I want it to have everything we would NEED and then anything to help my children emotionally through the process. I pray we never use these.
2011 - I hate my winter-non-pregnant wardrobe with a passion. I have only 3 shirts in it that I have bought post-highschool.
2011 - I HATE folding whites - HATE IT!
2011 - I decided to do my Monday cleaning in my favorite pair of maternity pajama capri's. I LOVE them. And guess who spilled bleach on them. That's right... I did. SO MAD. I don't think I can go the rest of this pregnancy with out them, but do I really go buy another pair for just a few more weeks (or maybe days)?
2010 - This morning all three kids seemed to be sleeping in, so I decided to jump in the shower to get a head start of the day - I got out of the shower to all three of them screaming - not a good start to the day.
2010 - The end of summer. The more I live the more I HATE the cold. The thought of snow coming soon makes me very depressed
2010 - I have two neighbors that have have dogs - and I HATE them. They bark all the time - it has made me hate dogs - or at least dog owners. I am ready to write a nasty letter. I found out they can get a fine... do I want to be "that person"... I am starting to think so.
2010 - I have discovered that when you have three kids you have to let your 3 day old baby cry sometimes. I remember after I had Brock wondering how ANY parent could let a brand new baby cry without stopping ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to help them
2010 - Children that won't nap. This pushes my buttons more than ANYTHING. I can go from 0 to 60 in 1 second when a tired child refuses to nap.
2010 - Anyone who has spent a night with me knows I HATE ticking clocks, or any sort of constant repetitous noise. The vent next to our bed makes a constant ticking noise. I am considering selling our house.
2009 - When just ONE type of silverware is all dirty - but the dishwasher is not full. So all my spoons are gone - do I take them out of the dishwasher and wash them all by hand? Do I start the half-full dishwasher? Do I make-due without spoons? Do I use plastic spoons? AHH
2009 - It makes me sad to eat the last cookie. Because then they are gone... and I can't eat any more cookies. Sometimes it will take me days to eat the last cookie (then usually Jason eats it while I am waiting - that makes me really sad).
2009 - I go absolutely crazy two minutes before nap time - that is not fair... Brock goes crazy two minutes before nap time - and I easily get angry with him. He gets so silly and squirmy - he won't go potty, he won't wash his hands, he won't get in bed, he just laughs and sings silly song - and I find it VERY annoying! I often lose my temper with him - and it is JUST for those two stupid minutes.
2009 - I get so frustrated when I make dinner (especially what I think is a good dinner - that took a lot of time and preparation) and Brock and Noah won't eat it. When that happens I can't even deal with it. I tell Jason that he either needs to convince them to eat it or he has to make something they will eat - because I have "washed my hands" of the situation!
2009 - For some reason I feel entitled to have the only parking space in our complex that has shade (Lived here the longest, home all day, has 2 kids, etc) and I get really annoyed when someone else parks in it.

Confessions

2023 - I rarely think negatively about other people - especially parents. And I rarely feel like I am better than other people. Except when it comes to one thing. Tech outside the home. I can say this with 100% confidence with ALL my 6 children I have NEVER EVER given them my phone, tablet, pod, pad, or laptop to play with outside my home. Not in the car, not the dr, not a soccer game, not church, not another child's performance, not when we were waiting for a long time, not on a plane, nothing. And every time I see a mom do it I want to go tell her how horrible it is. Not that IT is necessarily horrible, but the missed opportunity to learn to be quiet, or frustrated, or even to learn it isn't all about them right now is so important. So my confession is that in those moments I think "I am the best mom!" ha
2023 - After 18 years of marriage I think we just figured it out.
2022 - we have recently done some house remodeling. I have always said we can't have nice stuff becasue the kids will ruin it, but the truth is, I am the one that mostly ruins it. I won't go into detail, but it is true.
2022 - I would LOVE to have hidden cameras all over my house so I can watch my parenting and my day and then analyze it with professionals so they can tell me what I am doing wrong and how to fix it (in all areas: time management, house chores, parenting, being a good wife, being loving and nurturing, etc)
2022 - I hope my kids get married young. I hope they are all still in college or just a year or two off their missions. I really don't think you are ever too young.
2022 - I don't belong in this generation of parents. I don't really care if my kids get hurt. Most parents and teachers spend time telling kids not to do things because they "might get hurt". I really don't care if my kids get hurt. I really don't care if they even brake something. THEY can and should not choose to do something because THEY don't want to get hurt, and I am happy to tell them what they are doing is dangerous and they might get hurt. But rarely do I stop them. I also don't base parenting decisions on "they could die". I just don't think that is a good way to live. This seems to be the number one motivating factor for parents of my generation JUST keeping them alive. That is like number 10 on my list.
2021 - It is a Saturday and I am meeting a friend (Krista) for dinner (first time since I had Eve I think) and so I was putting on make-up and Dane said, "are we going to church?" BECAUSE I ONLY wear make-up when we go to church!! So sad... stupid covid... I have lowered my standards so much!
2021 - I am loving Brock as a teenager. Why this is a confession is because I am loving his snarky attitude. I know I am not supposed to, but I find it hilarious. He makes snarky, sarcastic, negative comments under his breath about people, the world, or situations and they are so funny. This is especially true when we are driving and he is riding shotgun. I try hard not to laugh and encourage him, but he has a very funny sense of humor.
2021 - For about a year I have really wanted to learn how to correctly use "to" and "too" in all situations. I know I don't use them correctly and I am often embarrassed by it.
2020- I had to completely block Facebook from our home internet. I couldn't stop looking at it. For all the reasons I didn't have it when my other kids were little. It is a way to "check out" and a false sense of connection - it feels so good the first 10 seconds - then worse. And also because there are people on there that I love, but seeing them on Facebook makes me hate them, and I don't want to hate them.
2020 - My favorite things to talk about are politics and religion.
2020 - I would love to be forced back into quarantine. It sounds wonderful!
2020 - I truly have mouse PTSD. EVERYTIME i go in my basement and round the corner to the storage room (which is a hundred times a day I look for a mouse. EVERYTIME I see something small and black on the ground I think it is mouse poo - no matter how illogical. I live in constant anxiety that there are mice in my house - constant. That can't be healthy. It was over 3 years ago that we had mice.
2020 - I only wear a mask to be obedient and compliant. I do not believe they work and are probably more dangerous - probably because a month ago the CDC said they dont work and are probably more dangerous!
2020 - I have a conference talk obsession. I started listening to conference talks about 3 years ago when I would clean up my preschool and get ready for the next day. I started in 1984 - I am currently on 1999. I listen when I clean, cook, drive, get ready, etc. I have collected all my favorites so far and I listen to them all the time. They bring peace to my soul. Currently there are about 280 favorites. They are all part of me. I may have a problem.
2020 - I don't know what a "kahoot" is. But my kids do them all the time
2020 - I am not a very giving self-sacrificing kind of mom when it comes to food. I am in other ways. But I don't share my treats with my kids. They are mine. ha
2020 - I am killing it at the new Children and youth program. When I am with other mom's sometimes we talk about it and everyone says, "we arent' doing anything" and I dont say anything because I don't want to sound like I am bragging.
2020 - I am having a hard time "fasting" (I am pregnant), praying and having faith to end the pandemic. I quite like it. I know it is so selfish because Jason is still getting paid and no one is sick. We are in the most blessed and ideal situation. I recognize this and am so grateful and feel for those who aren't. But honestly - I would love for this to last well into the summer. I love having all of us home. Some days are hard. But not really, and I even like the hard. I like figuring it out and trying again tomorrow.
2020 - I actually love the idea of polygamy and would happily take on another wife. Families would honestly run best with 2 wives and 1 husband.
2020 - Having these 2 more babies made us better more babies made us better, more intentional parents. I think we would totally be phoning it in at this point if we had stayed with the 4. Now when the babies are in bed or napping we make sure to spend time with the other 4. It just makes everything intentional
2020 - Facemasks are not so bad when you are not pregnant. Facemasks started when I was about 7 months pregnant. I couldn't breath. I wondered why we weren't rioting in the streets - how could they expect us to do this? Who ever becomes a doctor? Turns out they are not so bad. ha
2020 - 90% of the reason I go to things (church activities, receptions, showers, MLM parties, etc) is to eat the dessert. True story. (its probably more like 95%)
2019 - Sometimes I spend WAY TOO long watching Dane sleep on his video monitor.
2019 - some days are a mess. Some days rock. Most are neither. Or start one way and end another. Today I woke up, exercised, ministered, took noah to therapy, went on 6 mile bike ride with kids, took girls to harry potter camp, had morning devotional with kids, read my scriptures, and made baby food for Dane - all before 11:30.
2019 - If I need to get stuff done around the house I turn on conference talks. I enjoy listening to old conference talks (I am on April of '94 right now) but also the spirit tells me to listen to the current session most often. I spend most of my days with conference talks on in the back ground.
2018 - This is sort of a weird confession - but it is something not a lot of people know about me, but is none-the-less, true. I LOVE the scriptures. Like almost obsessively. I have made charts, maps, time lines, and indexes for my own study. I have also been working for 6 years on memorizing every chapter in the Book of Mormon. My kids flip through the scriptures read a verse and I try to tell that what book and chapter it is. That is my idea of a great Friday night!
2017 - Jason does our laundry. He has been doing it for 3 years now. I feel like by admitting this I am somehow less of a woman/house wife. I sometimes try and keep it a secret. But he does it and I love him for it, and he deserves the credit. He is so fast and efficiant and remembers to change the loads. He does it every saturday and is done with everything (washed, dried, folded, hung, and sorted by family member) in just a few hours.
2017 - It has taken me a few years to decide - and I needed to be several years removed from it - but I now officially know that I struggle the most with the 3 - 9 month baby stage. This is most parents favorite stage. But it is my least favorite. In fact that stage kind of gives me anxiety.
2017 - One of the worst things about living away from family is that almost my whole diet consists of food I made. With a large extened family living close by I often ate wonderful meals cooked by other people (farewells, blessings, parties, not to mention my moms house!). It is sad.
2016 - If you REALLY know me than you would know that the nicest thing you can do for me is give me dessert. I missed a RS dinner once because I was sick and my friend brought me the dessert after - I felt SO LOVED - like she really knows me.
2016 - If I could guarantee twin boys I would get pregnant again.
2016 - I watch NBC Nightly News every. single. night. Literally. Like if I can't and miss a couple days I will spend hours watching old news just to catch up. Everyone who knows thinks I am CRAZY but I kind of love it and look forward to it everyday.
2016 - I hope to never serve in the primary
2016 - I am the worst at planning my kids birthday parties - I have never ever planned one even a week in advanced - I always send out some lame email about how I have to "hurry" and have the party tomorrow and can your child please come - but it is all a lie - I just never planned it. I think they are all catching on though, since I do it with every child every year. I am the worst!
2015 If you bring me cookies or brownies or something like that and you bring enough to share with my family.... than you don't know me at all!
2015 I would really like to have 6 kids. But when I pray about it I get the answer that we shouldn't.
2015 I am "that mom" who doesn't buy school pictures or sport pictures or back to school clothes.
2015 I almost wanted to cry when Brock decided not to play soccer this fall and flag football instead. It kind of broke my heart.
2015 I took a magazine to the pool today. First time I have ever brought something to read while I was out playing with my kids. I couldn't decide if I felt guilty or liberated. The truth is the last few time we have gone they just play so well by themselves I have found myself being bored. I read for about 45 minutes - than got in and played with them. One day I assume we will go to the pool and will not even have to wear my swim suit.
2014 It feels like the older my kids get the more I have. I thought as they got older things would get easier (i.e taking them to the grocery store). It has gotten harder. A lot harder.
2013 Madison threw up on me. I cleaned her off and whiped off my shirt with the same rag with the intention of going and changing it after I got everything else cleaned up. Then I forgot and went to the library and the store. This was a white shirt with redish brown throw up. Talk about "letting yourself go". haha
2013 I do not really know what a 'hashtag' means - and I don't really want you to explain it to me.
2013 I desperately want to homeschool. I hope one day I can.
2013 I am watching Downton Abbey and if I got to choose I would rather be one of the 'house maids' than one of the rich people. That looks like a much better life.
2013 Brock can beat me at everything athletic even when I am trying 100%. He can run faster then me, shoot better baskets, and is way better at soccer. I am not sure when that happened.
2012 We got an air conditioner. I am struggling with the adjustment. I have lived without one for 8 years. I feel that living in comfort all the time seems too... entitled. Shouldn't I suffer a little? Who am I to always be comfortable?
2012 Unloading the dishwasher is actually chore I put off as long as possible - but when I finally DO unload it if feel a distinct sense of running my household, serving my family, and day to day accomplishment, every time!
2012 I really have no idea what I am doing.
2012 I hadn't swept my floor in a while - I hadn't needed too - it just seemed to not get crumbs. I wasn't vacuuming as much either. I was impressed, thought my kids must be eating cleaner. Then I realized I have a new vacuum...a crawling baby. It is embarrassing to admit - but I am sure my lack of crumbs are an essential part of her caloric intake.
2012 I can not just build a simple train track for my kids. When they want to play with trains I think, "I will just build a quick easy one so they can start playing"... an hour later I am still building - I get so into it and want to build the "coolest one ever" - it is kind of an addiction.
2012 I analyze the kid's tv shows. They drive me crazy. I think to myself "that's so dumb, Spiderman wouldn't really do that" or "what are the chances that would happen" - I remind myself they are written for 5 year olds and try to move on. Then I am just sad about my pathetic state of my life analyzing World Word and Thomas.
2012 Every night at exactly 6:30 I look at the state of myo house, my children, and dinner and I realize I can not make it to 8:00 (bed time) alone. I go thtough my options on who I should call to help. I never end up calling anyone and we always make it to bed tome in one piece - but ever y night at exactly 6:30 I have the same melt down again.
2012 Even the most disciplined, responsible, thrifty, budget oriented people can overspend when given a wind fall.
2011 When we are at the store and we get samples - I always grab 3. I make the boys share one and I eat 2.
2011 We lost Megan's sippy cup in our house about 2 months ago. The confession - it was full of milk! She was carrying it around drinking it, and I never saw it agian. We have searched and searched. I now pray we never find it and that she threw it in the garbage.
2011 My weekly Monday cleanings have turned into every other Monday cleanings. Not on purpose - but probably for like the past 6 weeks it just can't get done every week (sickness, activity, appointment etc) and I swear up and down I will do it Monday night or on Tuesday and I NEVER have. It just waits until the next Monday. I hate it. When I did it once a week I felt like I kept a clean house clean. But this every other week thing - I feel like every other Monday I am making a dirty house clean agian. I have got to get back on schedule.
2011 I was really out of my comfort zone having my fourth child before my best friend Karli. She has done everything before me (college, marriage, children, home ownership, mini van purchase etc) Her three kids are about as close as mine - but she took a break after three. She has been my example for all my major life mile stones - and I was really nervous about doing something without first knowing the ropes from Karli
2011 I hope to one day be able to say that I love the book of 2nd Nephi. Right now it is something to get through - has a few good verses - but it is a hard book. I know that it is wonderful and has some amazing deep doctrine, and is very plain and simple to "someone with the spirit of prophecy". I truly hope to say one day, my favorite book is Second Nephi - but for now I am happy just to read it and move on.
2011 I am still too scared to go into a dark bathroom - even for one second - I MUST turn the light on. When I was in the first grade I did Bloody Mary in the girls bathroom during recess, still proobably one of the most frightening expierences of my life.
2011 I am doing a March Maddness with my Young Women. We are supposed to read the whole Book of Mormon in the month of March. To be honest when I put my name on the list of people commiting to do it - I did it knowing I would give it my best effort - but knew I couldn't possibly keep up. Well - we are almost half way done and I have kept up! I am disappointed I didn't even believe in myself.
2010 While I was making dinner the boys were playing in the backyard. Brock was just wearing underwear and a t-shirt and Noah was just wearing a onesie. I kept trying to make time to go outside and make them get dressed and put shoes on - but then I decided it was pretty great :)
2010 We often go to fast food play areas during "non-peak" times. Usually we are the only ones there. And when that is the case, I get in and crawl around with my kids. Seven months pregnant and all!
2010 We had FHE under our swamp cooler yesterday - man it is getting hot!
2010 We go through 4 gallons a milk a week. Two gallons of 1% for me and Jason and two gallons of Whole milk for the boys. I think we have issues.
2010 Sometimes I find myself missing Provo...gasp
2010 Since I know that we are moving - I have no motivation to do ANY housework. Things are getting pretty bad - but I just think, "I am going to have to clean it really good in 2 weeks - why clean it now." Bad thought, I really need to clean!
2010 I have two new favorite shows, "The Good Wife" and "The Marriage Ref". The Marriage Ref is SO funny - I don't laugh out loud a lot - but I do for this show.
2010 I desperately want a calling in my ward - a really good one too. I would love to HAVE to use my talents on something else other than mothering. If I had a "good/busy" calling, it would make me get out of the house, interact with women in my ward, and maybe give me projects to work on at night. I know this sounds crazy, like I don't have the time right now. But if was my calling I would have to make time.
2010 For the last 3 weeks I have not been able to get Jason's work clothes ironed. For the life of me I can not find the time (well... I guess I could be doing it now). That has been the one thing that I have not been able to find time to do.
2010 Chores I put off doing as long as possible - unloading the dishwasher, putting laundry away, and cleaning up the bathroom after baths.
2009 Today Brock and I made cupcakes and I have eaten 10 of them already.
2009 Noah doesn't like it when I eat chocolate - but I still eat it if it is something really worth it. Does that make me a bad mom?
2009 My dream calling in church is to be stake girls camp director! On a lower scale - as soon as I move into a family ward my dream calling would be Young Women's Personal Progress Advisor! yea!
2009 Jason had a stick in his hand that had a piece of hair on it, when I saw this I immediately took it out of his hand and threw it. He asked why I did that, I said, "it had a hair." He was like, "What the crap, I am a grown man and you just treated me like a child." HAHA - you are so right, when I saw that stick with the gross hair I just reacted like I would if he were one of the boys - oops.
2009 I put Brock's shoes on the wrong feet at least once a day.
2009 I just figured out that for the last few meals I have been giving Brock sour milk to drink - and he drank it! And this wasn't just sour milk - it was starting to curdle - ok maybe I shouldn't confess this.
2009 I am terrible at calling people back. I have every intention - I want to do it when the timing is perfect and I can devote 100% of my attention to them. Either this timing never happens or I forget that I am supposed to call someone back. I feel this is one of my biggest faults and am always setting goals to change - I find it to be horrible rude and inconsiderate, and that is NOT what I want to be. I love these people and REALLY REALLY do want to call them back and talk to them.
2009 During my last post I totally forgot how to spell 'loud' - I spelled it: lowd, loude, lowde, and lowed - I couldn't figure it out - I actually had to look it up before I figured out the right spelling.
2009 Brock really wanted to go to they gym - but I did not want to work out - so I took them to the gyms day care and sat in the locker room and made our dinner menu for the next 2 weeks and a shopping list. Is that a misuse of the gyms day care? ;)
2009 Brock and I make cookies or cupcakes at least twice a week. We make them together and then we bake one pan and he gets to eat one - I then hide the rest of the dough or batter and bake them when he is asleep. I hide the cookies or cupcakes and eat the rest myself. I don't do this so he eats healthy, I do this because I want all the cookies.

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