Graveyards

I was going through my "draft" posts and remembered I never posted this.  Jason worked graveyards for about 9 months in 2011-2012.  I wrote this in July of 2011 - 8 months pregnant with Madison.  I did not post it then because I didn't want the internet world to know that I was home alone at night with kids - I got scared enough - I didn't want to worry about strangers.

Do here it is:

Jason is working graveyards for a while - hopefully not too long.  I thought I would hate it.  But truth is - I kind of am loving it.  Here are a few reasons why.

• He sleeps in the morning so he is not really here.  When he was unemployed my hardest time having him home was in the mornings.  I like my mornings to be really productive and on schedule - it is crucial to the rest of my day.  When he is home it gets everything off - I am lazier, things are just different.  But with him working graveyards he comes home and sleeps until about 11 - so I still get a good productive morning.
• Then he is awake at 11.  He is around for lunch, activity, and naps.  All great things for him to be around for.  He helps out the whole time and just wants to spend time with us. 
• The kids go down around 2 for naps and he doesn't go to work until 4 - so he gets 2 hours for a nap or his own personal time, and it doesn't have to come out of family time.
• When he is working normal shifts  I am the kind of wife/homemaker that really prioritizes the time that Jason comes home from work.  I like to have us home when he gets home, I like to have dinner ready (or really close too), I like to have the house clean, and the children happy.  I like him to have a little time to himself to relax, and then HE really likes to stay home the rest of the night and play with the kids - he doesn't like to go do things after work really.  And while I love providing that kind of environment when he gets home - it is often hard or even stressful - especially in the summer.  NOW I kind of get to do what I want.  We eat dinner when we want and we go do an evening activity.  We have gone to the park, my brothers baseball game, my moms to hang out.  I don't have to worry about getting home at a certain time.  It is great for the summer.
• Jason and I have different tastes in food.  A lot (well... almost all) of my favorite foods and the foods I grew up on he does not really like.  I like him to like my dinners.  So some of my favorite foods I haven't made or eaten in years.  So I have been making my favorite dinners now that he is gone.  It has been so yummy.  The kids and I have enjoyed, "old couch" (a beef, gravy over toast thing), Hawaiian haystacks, apricot chicken, BBQ ribs, and I have many more coming.  The kids have loved the food - and I have as well, and I don't have to feel guilty about making something Jason doesn't like.
• After the kids go to bed I have the house to myself.  There is just something about having the house to myself... I don't know what it is.
• I am not going to lie - being 8 months pregnant, in the summer, with no AC - having the bed to yourself doesn't suck.
• Jason gets 3 days off.  And those days off are week days.  This is rockn' because we can go do things (zoo, pool, discovery gateway, etc) and not have to do it on a Saturday when the rest of the world is doing it.  It is always much better to do those things on week days.

Things that aren't so great

• I know I am going to HATE it when the baby is born.  ALL the above reasons will disappear when she comes.
• I miss having him home after the kids go to bed.  That is when we usually talk.  When he is doing his graveyard shifts that only time we have together is when the kids are around - we can hardly get a conversation in.  I just think - I will talk to him about that on his days off - then I forget.  I miss talking.
• I was going on walks every morning at 6 - can't do that anymore.
• On the days that I don't have an activity for the evenings - I miss him coming home.  On those long days - it is something to look forward too "dad is almost home". If this continues on into the winter this one will get to be a huge deal.
• Dinner time is lonely with just you and three kids.  Not much for dinner conversation.

I am trying to enjoy it while I can - I know it is a huge sacrifice for him and I know he does not like it at all - so I feel guilty for liking it.  I am just trying to find the silver lining... right??  I am grateful to him for being willing to do anything to provide for us.

2013

I don't have many "resolutions" for 2013 - meaning things I want to change or do differently.  But there are a few things I would like to "add" this year. 

• Serve - This is vague I know - but I want it to be something that is always on my mind.  I want to sign all of those clipboards that come around in Relief Society.  For the last 5 or so years Jason and I have always given ourselves the excuse of "it is not the season of our life for ______", sometimes our excuse was legitimate, other times it was a copout for things we should have done but simply didn't want to. Regardless we have strived to keep things small and simple and put our kids as the number one priority. Well, we feel like "that" season of our life is over and now it is time to start adding and giving back. We have received so much help in the last several years I can now start helping other people since my hands are not as full as they have been in the past. I don't want it to be in any sort of formal way - I just want to be "quick to observe" - but NOW not just observe but be able to act on the promptings that I am given.
• Roasted Garlic - I have a strong feeling that roasting and using garlic will make everything more yummy.  I want to add it to something like once a week.  Weird I know - but I think it will make my life markably better.
• Organize - for real - room by room.  Since we have been in baby mode for five years - I never really "put things away" because our next one was due in just a few months (maternity/nursing clothes, baby stuff, toys etc).  Well it can now be put away or tossed out.  I am a little hesitant to do this one because I am nervous I will spend money on organizational tools or room decoration.  I have never made ANY bedroom or bathroom cute or done any decorating - and I know I really want to and if I organize it I will want to decorate it but that would come in conflict with...
• Don't buy stuff.  2012 was definitely the year we bought stuff.  We had never really bought anything we havn't NEEDED and I guess last year we got sick of it and bought a few things.  Part of it was liberating - but mostly it is just a slippery slope that makes you realize how much you actually want.  I like NOT buying stuff better.  There really isn't anything we NEED anymore and not a TON on our "high list of wants" - a few things need to be added to the budget (just the nature of a growing family) so I want to be disciplined this year and really not buy stuff.  I think that once buying stuff becomes a habit - it is one that is not easily stopped.  But even as I write this I have a list of things in my head that I want to buy (pictures for house, shelf, dresser, clock, dye my hair, etc).  Dang it - I do want those things. 
• Sour Dough.  I would like to learn all things sour dough.
• Be in the moment.  Since I am not having a baby I feel like I can do anything and start doing more things.  But I want to hold off on that.  My "babies" are still all very young - and I do have a lot of them (four sometimes feels like a million).  I would LOVE to take this year slow.  Especially next school year 2013-2014.  Brock will be in first grade - but Noah won't be in Kindergarten.  I will have the three younger at home all day - THEN fall of 2014 Noah starts kindergarten and then I have Kindergarten three years in a row after that - bam, bam, bam - and then... they are gone.  I don't want to rush into the next phase.  I want to re-enjoy the younger kids at home all day when Brock is in first grade (since we won't have to pick him up mid day).

I think that is it.  I really wanted to put in a spiritual one - but I think I just want to hold status quo.  I am at a good place right now, I think if I can stay on this path I will be in a really good place by the end of the year.  My scripture study is strong, my prayers are good (there is some room for improvement), Sunday is about to get awesome since Mads goes into nursery in 4 weeks (who is counting?), and I have a good plan for temple attendance that is working out great.  Plus - most importantly - my personal relationship with my Savior is maybe at an all time high.  So I didn't want to "disturb" anything with some sort of unnecessary resolution.

Christmas Day

As mentioned before we had our best Christmas yet.  Mostly because last year wasn't a very good Christmas.  Last year (2011), was the "most" money we ever had to spend on Christmas (and even by those standards it was not very much at all) and it was the first year our kids were "into" presents and actually wanted stuff.  I went a little over board - I thought it would be awesome - there was SO MUCH STUFF, I felt really good about our Christmas on Christmas eve - and then on Christmas morning I learned what a lot of presents do to kids - it was awful.  They got way too much, they didn't enjoy or appreciate any of it - I was crushed.

 

This year I simplified - I mean REALLY simplified.  It was a huge cut down from what I thought Christmas morning should be like and what I was used too, but in my heart I knew it was right for our kids.  But, to be honest, I was very nervous all night on Christmas eve, I couldn't sleep.  I was worried Brock would recognize that there wasn't a lot, I worried they would say, "is that all", I did not want to see disappointment. 

 

However, just as I had known, Christmas morning was wonderful.  They all got exactly what they wanted and were so happy.  We avoided all the problems of last year and went slow and enjoyed each toy.  It was just perfect.  I learned a good lesson and hope I can remember it for years to come - it is hard not to just get your kids "stuff", but I have learned it is worth it.

 

Anyways, off my soap box and onto Christmas.

 

Right after Santa came: (In case any one cares what I mean by not a lot is: each had 2 wrapped presents, 2 things in each stocking, one candy in the stocking, and the doll house)

Our tree - I love how the lights make my walls look (maybe I should sponge paint my walls)

 

Maddie reading a book.

Megan checking out her new doll house.  It was really my niece's, Audrey, that she out grew - it has been a wonderful addition to our family.  She plays with it all day and so do the rest of them.  We love it and can't wait to add to it.

They all got much needed umbrella's in their stocking.

 

Madison got some necklaces that she loves.

Megan opening her PRIZED possession - Jake and the Neverland Pirates Puzzle.  She has only ever seen the show once in her life, but she saw it at Walmart back in October and hasn't stopped talking about it.  Puzzles are her favorite thing to do - she does her four puzzles at least five times a day. 

 

Brock's Christmas ended up funny.  For 6 weeks he wanted a Power Ranger Sword.  So Santa got it - of course.  Then about 6 days before Christmas we were at the dollar store and he saw this bow and arrow - he has been wanting one for about a year and I could never find an age appropriate one.  So I thought I would get it for him also.  This has ended up being his "prized possession" - he hardly puts it down and tells everyone about his bow and arrow.  Funny how the dollar store ends up being the best present - could have saved me 30 bucks - but he does like his sword.

Noah got "Samuel Stread" which he really wanted and loves loves loves.  In the aftermath of Christmas morning he ended up being really sad he didn't get a weapon for Christmas and Brock got two - but later that night he got a Power Rangers Hydro Bow from his aunt Ashley  - so it all worked out in the end.  Noah's smiles just kill me.  I have MANY blogs posts from the first week he was born about how his smiles are pure joy - and it is still true to this day.  I hope I see this smile his whole life at all of his "big events".

 

This was the best part of Christmas by far.  I wanted to be REALLY thoughtful about Madison's Christmas presents - one year olds are hard - especially number four - and I didn't want to get her stuff just for the sake of getting her stuff.  Everytime we are shopping she finds these gross squishy balls and carries them around with us.  So I decided that would be it.  Oh my goodness was I right.  As soon as she opened it and saw it she screamed... literally screamed.  It made me so happy.  How many one year olds actually really want their presents and know it and scream when they got it.  It was a first for me.  She loves(d) her ball.  But then sadly a few days ago Noah (purposefully) popped it - Madison was actually devastated, it made me cry to see how sad it made her - it was like her best friend in the whole world had been killed.  She still walks around the house looking for and calling out for her ball.  Noah felt bad too - he cried - he has to earn 5 dollars to buy her a new one.

On a side note about another present I got for her - one of our biggest fights everyday is markers.  We use markers a lot in our house and all she wants to do is pull lids off of markers and put them back on.  She draw all over herself and the floor and ruins the markers so we fight about it.  So I thought I would buy some cheap markers at the dollar store, leave the caps off for a few weeks so they dried out and then give them to her so she could pull lids on and off to her content.  Well I ended up with the marker made from like lead in China or something because I could not (and still can't) dry these things out.  I left the lids off for about 3 weeks - still bright as ever, soaked them in water for 2 days - still bright, stuck a hair dryer on them for about an hour - melted some of the plastic around the markers, but the ink was still wet, covered about 30 pages in marker scribbles - STILL BRIGHT.  About six of the light ones finally dried out so I put them in her sock on Christmas eve marginally satisfied.  Then when she got them out Christmas morning and joyfully (and immediately) pulled the lids off, those darned things colored all over her.  I swear they were made by Satan himself!  I am buying markers from the dollar store from now on - our crayola markers dry out if we leave the lids off for half an hour.  So much for a well planned out present.

The kids with their favorite Christmas toys.

(I will share with you mine and Jason's present when it comes - we orded it all a little late)

And the only shot I got of Christmas night at my parents house.  The boys got remote control cars which they love, Megan got blocks (her favorite thing - she actually made up a song about how she loves to build things and sings it everytime she plays with the blocks), and Madison got a Letter Factory toy.

There is our Christmas.  There were a million tiny more details that all made it wonderful.  The Children constantly focused more on the birth of Christ than on Santa.  They love the nativity story and all memorized the scriptural passage.  We spent hours and hours driving around to see the lights in our neighborhood, particularly one "silly Santa" that goes up and down a chimney.  Oh, we went sledding on Christmas day, that was picture perfect.  I made a wonderful brunch just for our little family.  And finally - it is now January 6th and we really, honestly, have not all left the house since December 27.  We have happily stayed home, in jammies and played with toys.  Even if one of us has to go somewhere - some days a few of us will get dressed and go to the store, or school, or church - but since Christmas there has never been a time when all 5 of us (me and the kids) have all been showered, bathed, dressed, hair done, and ready.  It has been so chill and wonderful.

Cristmas Eve

We had the most wonderful Christmas we have ever had.  Everything was so perfect - from the kids (all at great christmas ages) to the presents, to the weather, to the whole spirit and tone of the week - it was just perfect.

 

It all started spending Christmas Eve at Jason's parent's house in Mapleton.  It was the perfect Christmas Eve.  We went on Sunday night and spent the night there.  Jason and Jason's dad had to work all day Monday so me and the kids and grandma just hung out all day.  It was so wonderful and relaxing and fun.  We stayed in our pajama's most of the day, ate too much really good food, and played, played, played.  I think Debby spent weeks planing for our visit - she always has everything planned and ready for our kids - she is a wonderful grandma.

 

My boys LOVE to watch netflix on their new tablets - it is better than watching the exact same shows on tv.

Megan took like a two hour jetted bubble bath.

 

We spent hours and hours building with thousands and thousands of 1980's Lego's (they had not been taken out of the boxes since they had been packed up when Jason was about 11 - that airplane Jason actually built when he was 11 and it had stayed in that box - Jason remembered it and was pretty defensive of it when he found it :)

 

 Once all the men got home on Monday night we had a wonderful dinner and then we had a little "program".  The kids sang their primary song, the one about Samuel the Lamanite (can't remember the name right now) and then each performed their memorized passage of the Angel telling the shepherds of Jesus's birth.  Megan was to die for she says "swabboling" clothes for swaddling - SO CUTE!

Madison did not want to be left out and when the older ones were done she stood at the fire place and "sang" us several songs.

Then we opened presents

 

 

 

My kids got spoiled with all sorts of Lego's and building games - we love them!

Then we had dessert - Debby built them this little table to eat at.

 

 Got in our jammies (again) and drove home.  The fact that it snowed all of Christmas Eve was just so wonderful and magical.  I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas eve.

A family shot in front of their HUGE tree (it had to be bolted to the wall! - thanks Travis!)