Sub for Santa

I am on a new service kick with my kids.  Well... almost.  I have been thinking and plotting it for about 3 months, and in December I did my first thing.  I want my kids to serve.  We live in a very well off neighborhood (more well off than we are), and I just have this feeling that it is not exactly how we wanted to bring our kids up.  If we want to help people who need help, we have to go looking for it.  So this year I plan on having a lot of service opportunities as a family.

Well for our first one we decided to help with some Sub for Santa type activities.  In the past the kids do jobs to earn money to buy their siblings and parents gifts for Christmas.  This year we asked them if they would rather spend that money on kids who aren't going to get presents for Christmas (it was obviously a much longer conversation than that).  Madison was the first to jump of board, then Megan, then Brock.  Noah, however, was not convinced.  It took him a whole day to decide that is how he wanted to spend his money.

Once we were at the store, however, they were all so excited and generous.  Especially Madison and Noah.  Madison could see this little girl in her head, and desperately wanted her to have all the toys.  She would say things like, "She has to have an Elsa dress, if she doesn't have any toys then a Elsa dress will make her look so pretty and she will be so happy."  And for Noah it only made sense to him to buy the biggest lego set you could, because if this boy didn't have any legos then he needed a lot, so he could build lots of other things.  It ended up breaking my heart to have to tell our very generous and  thoughtful kids that while we want to buy these kids toys, we can't buy them everything, and they followed up with , "why not?" "we have it" etc.  It was a good lesson for all of us.

Megan and Madison trying to pick out some toys.

After we bought presents we helped with unloading several vans and trucks full of donations to a needy ward in downtown Denver.  This is what blew me away.  We loaded boxes into vans, unloaded them into one room in a church, and then moved them again into the cultural hall.  These four kids worked and worked until the whole job was done.  With out complaining or being asked to help.  Even Noah who does NOT like to carry things.  They just kept going back and forth and back and forth - I kept waiting for them to stop and start playing or play chase around the church.  They never did - not once.  They knew what we were doing and why and I could tell they felt good inside doing it.

Seeing Santa

My kids have been used to going to Great Grandma Browns "Santa Party".  They have been doing this since they were born (I have been doing it since I was born).  To try to make up for missing it I scheduled a private meeting ar our public library.  There is a story time and then a chance to meet Santa.  

I don't think Madison remembers seeing Santa last year - because she was so excited to see him.  As soon as he came into the room she jumped up off the floor and ran to him and gave him a hug.  I love this age at Christmas!

Brock didn't sit on Santa's lap.  Just stood and leaned.  He was too big.  Broke my heart.  One stage of life is totally over.

Madison is so adorable just admiring Santa!

Then the next week we went and had breakfast with Santa at their school.

And saw him again.  But this time it was not the real Santa, it was obviously one of his helpers.

We decided to do a silly picture with Santa.

Putting up Christmas

I decided to put up our Christmas decorations by myself this year.  Almost every years prior I do it with the kids, it is usually fun - but in the end, after they have gotten bored, it is all left to me anyways, and this year there seemed to be so much going on, that one day during the girls' naps I just went ahead and did it.  I thought they would be mad when they found out.  They weren't.  They didn't even say a word.  Putting up our Christmas decorations alone gave me more time to ponder them.  I ended up finding myself very sentimental.  In fact I even put a post on Facebook (which I rarely do)  it said, 

"While I was putting our Christmas decorations up I was overcome with how much I love them. They represent us so beautifully. Some we got at our wedding, most I made in Provo in the 169th ward, many from the dollar store, some from my mom's old decorations, and several made by family members and given as gifts. They make me laugh because they mostly reflect our poverty over the years - but I wouldn't change them for anything. In fact our stockings are all from the dollar store (they don't even match - they were bought each year as needed!) and today I decided that even if we are one day millionaires, I will keep our dollar store stockings - because that was all we could afford the year we had that particular baby."

Mostly I love the ones that I made our first few years of marriage at Enrichment in the 169th ward.  Many people left comments about how they love their Christmas tree ornaments for the same reason.  I found that I do not have the same feelings about our ornaments (except for about 5 of them).  In fact this year instead of packing them all up I threw most of them away.  Most were broken, and I was sick of them.  they were ornaments from the dollar store about 10 years ago.  I have wanted to replace them for a while, but never did - several reasons - I don't' know really what I would want instead, laziness, and of course money.  I guess I can tell that I feel like we are "moving up in life" when I am throwing away stuff away just to replace later (5 year ago Jamie would be appalled).  

Well, to make up for not letting them help with the house decorations, we all did the tree together (which we usually do anyways).  We all went to pick it out together.  Then Jason and Brock put it on the stand, and had to "re straighten it" about 5 times.  Actually this Christmas was another new mile stone - we got our tree home and found out it didn't fit in our base.  I had to drive back and buy a new one.  Yea for bigger trees!

I never took a picture of the tree or of the house decorated - but when I downloaded our pictures I found one that some child took - I know because the lens didn't open all the way.

And you get a peak of Megan dressed up as Minnie Mouse.  A daily occurrence- although usually it is paired with a witches hat.

Paul Revere

We got through our first "real" school project.  It spanned almost 6 weeks and was integrated into every part of our life.  There was SO MUCH WRITING.  I almost thought it might kill me.  But in the end Brock did great and learned a lot about Paul Revere.  

For the day of his big presentation he had to dress the part.  I thought we did pretty good.

Saturday Morning

The kids wake up before us on Saturday.  Well, just me - Jason goes to the temple at 6:00 on Saturday mornings.  I stay in bed for a while.  They used to watch "shows", but a few months ago they stopped showing Saturday morning cartoons, and at the same time PBS started sometimes not showing their kids shows either.  One Saturday I came down to:

Brock and Noah playing battleship.

Madison playing with her doll house

and Megan reading books.

It was all so peaceful.

Soccer

Brock played soccer again this fall.  This year he really started coming into his own.  He seems to shine more the closer they get to playing positions.  Brock is a very methodical soccer player, and the more "real" soccer gets the more he feels comfortable.

This is the first season they got a goalie and Brock did very well.  He is really good at defense in general, so he kind of excelled at goalie.  He was always ready and always knew where the ball was coming from.

I know these are a million pictures of the same thing.  But they all crack me up.  Plus they are the only pictures i took this season.

Great goal throw.

Can charts change your life??

Yes, yes they can.  I can't believe it is December and I am just writing this post.  Because most of this takes place back in September and October.  

You see, at the end of September I am pretty sure I had a nervous break down.  There was just too much to do.  It was all too hard.  I was barely surviving the day to day of life, let alone being able to accomplish anything long term.  It all came to a head one afternoon while the girls were taking a nap. I decided to read the Ensign for a few minutes while my muffins were in the oven.  The story was about getting our food supply and 72 hour kits up to date and the blessings that would come from that.  I realized this had been on my non-existent "to-do" list for about 4 months, and that I had felt prompted by the spirit on several occasions to get this done, and here is was again!  I started spiraling.  How and when would I do this?  And like a wave, everything came over me, all the things I was NOT accomplishing.  I needed help.  Who could help me?  I text my little sister and asked her if she would quit her job and come move in with us.  She called me back and I poured my heart out to her.  She was so great to listen and help.  She gave me permission to hire someone to clean my house.  Then an hour later my mom called (news travels fast) and I poured my heart out to her, almost word for word what I had just said to Ashley.  She also reminded me that she was almost in my exact phase of life when she hired someone to help her clean the house (I was sensing a theme).  Then Jason came home and asked how my day was, then I poured out my heart to him.  

That night I made a list.  A list of everything that was weighing on my mind.  Here are a few examples of things on that list:

Make a meal plan

Make a grocery list

go grocery shopping

do visiting teaching

Help Jodi (she had just had her 4th under 4)

Find out what winter clothes fit the kids

buy needed winter clothes

put away summer clothes

clean the whole house

get the garden ready for winter

resupply our 72 hour kits (all our food and water had expired and the clothes were from 2 years ago)

Get more long term food storage

research prices on long term food storage/ bulk items

Do the budget for August and September

Figure out an exerciser routine - find a way to include the boys

Update blog

Start genealogy

Talk with Kristina about how to start genealogy

make a plan to teach the boys to work

serve as a family on a consistent basis

go to the temple

Read more chapter books with the boys

Set better rules/expectations on screen time

And that was about 1/4 of the random list that I had created.  I presented this list to Jason and why I felt like I could not even begin to accomplish 80% of it.  I felt like each day was consumed by school, homework, extra curricular activities, playing with the girls, church callings, feeding the family, and keeping the house clean enough; and if something didn't fit directly into one of those categories it could not be accomplished for at least the next 10 years.  I also came to a realization that things were only going to get harder and harder with each passing year.  Through our discussion we both realized that most of my problems came from the hours between 4:00 pm and 8:00 pm - well really 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm.  I was trying to fit too much into post school but pre Jason coming home.  I wanted Jason to come hope to a warm dinner, a clean house, and homework done.  The pressure was eating me alive.  This pressure was, of course, self inflicted, as Jason reassured me that HE can help and I don't have to do it all myself.  Jason was actually leaving for Albuquerque that night for a week, we jotted some ideas down on a paper about how we could fix some of our problems, we were both supposed to ponder the solutions for the week, and we would come up with a plan when he got home. 

Here was the plan following our family council. 

We hung them in our living room after presenting them to our kids.  We mostly shook up our evening routine and our bedtime routine.  For example: When Jason gets home he eats a snack that I have ready for him (only he gets to have it, the kids will not snack at this time).  We will do a half hour of home work before dinner - during this time I can finish making dinner - or Jason can and I can help with homework.  We put a schedule into place for who is putting who to bed each night.  

We also instituted a new chart system for the boys - it was a knock off our chart from the summer that included all four kids - but for the school year the boys needed a better one.   Each day they have to do their high 5 (dress, teeth, clean room, make bed, say prayer), do a job, do lexia (an online reading thing for school), practice spelling, read, and have me sign their planner and put daily homework in back pack.  If they do one of  these things before school (other than high 5), than I send a little treat in their lunch, also they do not get any screen time until all of this is done.  Weekly we decided that if they finish their whole weeks homework package on Monday we will have an awesome treat for Family Home Evening, and also if they do 3 big jobs every Saturday, during the girls nap time they will get a special outing.  We are also doing a monthly family service project.  We also toyed with the idea of the boys going running with me in the morning, but we decided to wait until spring to start that.

We made other random routines that I won't necessarily go into, like how and when things are getting cleaned in the house (I am cleaning by level now).

But after all of that... to the point of my post.  These things have worked, and they have changed my life.  Things are good.  I am organized, I am accomplishing things, I am balanced, and I am enjoying my mothering (most of the time).  I found a way to cross off all the "pending" items on my list (thanks to Jason mostly) and am still accomplishing things that still get put on my list.  (Except for genealogy - all of that has still taken a back seat, hopefully soon I can change that.)  But the best part is I have found so much time to serve other people.  That has been the biggest blessing.  Two or three months ago I felt like I didn't even have enough of myself to give my family, and now, now that I have gotten my life in order, the Lord has magnified me to where I feel daily promptings of people to go help and I feel capable of acting on those promptings, before I would have been to stressed or self absorbed to even recognize those promptings.

I know this was a longs and jumbled post.  But it is important to me to record these things.  Some days are obviously better than others, but the good part is that even in a bad day, I know I have a system that works that we can fall back on to get the bad days... better.  To end this post I just want to say THANK YOU to my wonderful husband.  I am so grateful to him for helping me.  He always makes me feel validated and important - even when my complaints are very trivial and random (and sometimes silly) - he knows they are important to me.  I don't do things the way he would do them, and although that can frustrate him, he gives me space to accomplish the things I need to accomplish my way.  Also he let me shake up our whole routine, because I needed too.  I was the one having a hard time, and he was willing to change his way of doing things to let things be easier on me.  That is so selfless!  I love him and need to remember more often all he does behind the scenes to make my life better.  

Running a business

I am a terrible business woman.  Which is funny because before I had kids I worked for a large corporation in their legal department and I loved it - not exactly business - but close.  I say I am terrible because, as it turns out, I feel guilty making a profit.  Last week I was shopping for preschool stuff and while I was at the store I picked up a few groceries.  Usually I pay with 2 different transactions - but it was only a few things and I was in a hurry - so  I just paid for it all out of my preschool account. 




I felt like I was stealing.  I felt so guilty.  Would any one know?  Was I being dishonest?  I felt like I couldn't face the parents of my kids knowing I had spent their money, intended for their child's education, on groceries.  It occurred to me on my drive home that running a preschool is intended  to make a profit.  Obviously I KNEW that, but apparently I hadn't internalized what that meant - especially since I am still building my business and am putting 100% back into my preschool (well 90%).


I guess one day I will be making a profit and spending that money... but probably not because it is really important to me that I spend $50.00 on a great sensory bin activity.  This preschool is a very expensive hobby. :)

A day in the life - weekday... no school

One of the reasons I started this blog and have intentionally kept up on it was that I knew that these days with young children are fleeting, easily forgotten, but significant.  My mom made a comment when I was pregnant with Noah that she wished she would have kept a journal when we were young because she can't remember how she spent her days.  I knew that I wanted to remember every, single, boring detail.  So... just for fun... I decided to take pictures capturing a real life day.  What was great about this day is that it was truly honestly a "typical" day.  Truth be told - this is actually 2 days.  I started it on a Friday - the kids didn't have school - so I thought is would be a good representation of what it is like with them all home (I plan on doing a school one in a few weeks) - but in the evening my day got hijacked and took a turn - so then I picked up where I left off on Monday.  But here you go a "typical" non-school weekday.

Since moving to Denver we have reached a new "level" of parenting - not having to wake up when the kids wake up.  I/we only take advantage of this new situation on weekends or on a school holiday. Today was just that.  All the kids wake up about the same time - between 6:30 and 7:00.  I told Brock to go downstairs and turn on a show.  Jason has already left for the day... so its just us.  I stay in bed for another 20 minutes, then I take a shower, get dressed, do my hair and make-up, make my bed, read my scriptures and check email and facebook all before coming downstairs.

It is now about 8:00 and I start unloading the dishwasher as the kids finish up their PBS shows.  This thing gets run every night and unloaded every morning.  In the summer we had a good system rolling where one boy loaded dishes and another unloaded dishes everyday - but since school has started back up - this job has fallen back to me.

While I do that I tell Brock to grab the load of towels out of the dryer and fold them while they finish their show.

He likes to be hilarious and fold each towel and lay it out separately.  This is how it looks in the end.  Whereupon I tell him to gather them into matching pile.  Whereupon he does.  This pattern is repeated every time.

Then I make breakfast.  We have "big breakfasts" most days out of the week.  Today is no exception.  I made Pioneer Woman's Sour Cream Pancakes (one of our favorites - although I have made some adjustments to the recipe),fresh whipping cream, scrambled eggs, fresh cut pears, and orange juice (probably the third time our whole life I have bought juice - it was WAY on sale and one of Jason's favorite indulgences).  Once shows are over, we turn off the TV and the kids clean up the house before they come eat breakfast.  It is now 8:45. 

While the kids are eating breakfast I cut up my granola bars that have been chilling in the fridge since yesterday.  I am always "making" something.  Almost every day I have something to make, or soak, or cut, or .... something.  I make all of our snacks from scratch, which requires a lot of daily maintenance, so everyday, usually mornings or during naps I am making, starting, or finishing something.  Today is was raisin granola bars.

Who ever finishes breakfast first gets to "pick the scripture story".  This is how we have figured out how to best fit in family scripture study into our family.  One child gets to pick the scripture story each day.  They have several different books they can look through to find a scripture story they want to hear.  Then when everyone is done with breakfast we gather in the living room and I tell the story - mostly from my own words - but then always read the most important part from the scriptures... giving Brock and Noah a verse or two to read.  If you haven't put it together yet.... Jason is not home for this, so you can hardly call it "family scripture study".  To make up for this everyday when Jason comes home he asks the kids "what did you read about today?" they then share the story and Jason expounds on the principle being taught.  Then the kids always ask Jason what he read about, where upon he shares what he read in his reading, then (sometimes) someone asks me what I read about - and then I share.  This usually takes place at the dinner table and is most of our dinner conversation.  This happens everyday.  We feel like we can go ahead and count it as "family" scripture study.

Today Megan picked the story of Moses and the burning bush.

It is now 9:20 and it is time to start our day.  This starts with everyone doing their "high 5".  Everyone goes up stairs and 1)gets dressed 2)brushes teeth 3)makes bed 4)cleans room and 5)says prayers.  When your done you get a high 5!  (and Brock and Noah get to mark it off their chart.)  The rest of the chart they have to fill up before they get any "screen time".  Brock already did his job (the towels) Noah vacuums the living room.  They do the rest during naps, although today we substitute spelling for math, since they are not in school. 

While they are doing their "high 5" I clean up breakfast and make lunches.  I am aiming to be out of the house by 10:00 and don't plan on being back until 1:00 - we will need to eat lunch in the car, so the girls can take their nap on schedule.  It is currently 9:40 and I am 10 minutes behind schedule - so I make a rash decision - I know I don't have time to clean up breakfast - so  I try something new...  I put all of the un-rinsed breakfast dishes straight into the dishwasher and hit the rinse cycle - my friend told me she does it all the time, I had never considered it.  If figured it was better than being late - so I try it (spoiler alert: it kind of worked).

Then I make the lunches.  Peanut butter and honey sandwiches with cut up apples and pears for everyone - for the veggies they are all particular.  Megan likes bell peppers, Brock only likes carrots, Madison only likes cucumbers, and Noah likes carrots and cucumbers.  They all get a string cheese (which only the girls eat) and water.  I packed them in our FAVORITE Ziploc lunch containers that are now sadly discontinued.  They are/were wonderful!

I run upstairs to do the girls hair while everyone finishes their high 5's and we are in the car by 10:10. 

We are off... I still haven't told you were we are going yet... and why we are in such a hurry.  See I have a very important thing to do... haha... not really... we are going to Chuck E Cheese.  My kids favorite place to go!  It opens at 10:30 and I really like to be the first ones there because when the machines turn on some of them automatically print a bunch of tickets and the workers just leave them there and let the kids collect them.  My kids have actually never noticed, but I have and I grab them for the girls (turns out the marry-go-round doesn't give tickets... go figure?)  But once we pull into Chuck E Cheese we see the brand new opening sign that says they have moved their hours to 11:00 am.  All that rushing for nothing.  Across the street is a store I need to go in for a few preschool things.  I am taking a huge risk by taking my kids into it for just a "quick thing" - but I need to burn 15 minutes - so after weighing my options I decide its worth the risk.

It actually wasn't so bad.  Sometimes I still think my kids are really little - but truth is they are getting older and are very capable of behaving themselves.  I am pleasantly surprised that we are actually in and out in 15 minutes.

Back to Chuck E Cheese.  It was a great time - although they took out a favorite game and replaced it with not such a fun one.  Noah was pretty distraught.  We always put out tickets together (we believe in communism) and we split them up.  However, Madison only ever wants smarties which are 10 tickets, so the rest get divided by 3.  Today the older kids each got 50 tickets.  Brock always gets fun dip, Noah always gets some sort of toy, and Megan changes every time, today was a laughy taffy and a ring.

After Chuck E Cheese we get in the car.  I hand them all their lunches to eat in their car seats.  Then we go to Sprouts to get our weeks produce.  Just FYI - I spend 30 dollars a week on produce.

They were less good at this shopping trip... but nothing to cry about (because there have been times when it IS worth crying about)

While we were there they were having an unadvertised one day sale on pumpkins.  We usually go as a family to a pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins.  But this was too good to pass up.  So I called Jason to see if he minded if we just got our pumpkins today.  He gave the green light - who would turn down $2.00 pumpkins??   I picked up a few for my preschool and we were off.  It is 1:00 already and we are about 15 minutes from home.  A little late - but that was the pumpkin picking's fault - that was not in the schedule.  The kids finish their lunch in the car.

We get home and I put the girls down for a nap while the boys take the groceries inside.  During nap time I decide to do some school work with the boys and help  them finish their charts.  They are both working on money... so I set up some money around the house to have them count and write down the number.  Then we did some journal writing.  Then they played some computer games while I started dinner (Chicken Broccoli and Rice Casserole) and made a batch of pumpkin muffins. 

This is where Friday ends.  During nap time my friend from the ward called to invite me to see "Meet the Mormon's" for a girls night out with some other women in the ward.  I called Jason to see if he would be home in time.  He wouldn't.  I thought about backing out... but I really wanted to go.  So I got a babysitter.  So half way through my "typical day" it turned very untypical - I have never gotten a babysitter to go out by myself.  But the movie was great and well worth it.  (I went again the next Tuesday with my friends on my street who are not members).  Jason came home and put the kids to bed.  I didn't get home until 10:30.

So I decided to pick up on Monday right after naps (the boys were still out of school - it was fall break).  It is now 3:30.  When Madison wakes up from her nap she almost always HAS to watch a show on the computer.  And of course they all join in.  It is an episode of Daniel Tiger - Teacher Harriet's Birthday, I believe.

Then we went downstairs and hung up our Halloween decorations.

Then everyone played by themselves while I made dinner (Shredded Beef Enchiladas).  Noah and Megan built with Legos, while Madison played with babies and her play kitchen, and Brock kicked his soccer ball against the living room wall - and flipped a pencil for a good half hour (his favorite thing to do).

At about 4:30 we head outside to play with neighbor kids.  This usually takes place in the circle across the street from our house and/or down at "Ms. Jenn's house". Jenn is like the matriarch of the neighborhood.  She is ALWAYS outside her house with her kids and everyone in the neighborhood comes and goes from her house.  She always sets out a bunch of camping chairs for anyone who wants to stop by and always has a bunch of toys out (and of course a beer for everyone - but I usually just take water :)  Today it is just us out.  We chat while the kids play. 

At 6:00 we head in for dinner.  Jason isn't home yet - so we start without him.

It wouldn't be true to our day unless we showed how dinner always ends up... just Madison.  She is always last and all but refuses to eat.  But you can't leave until you eat.  Jason is home by now and Jason and I sit with her for moral support.

After about 20 minutes it is now just her.  Eventually she finishes.

While Madison finishes up I do the dishes while Jason starts reading with the kids.

Then we have family home evening.  Jason has the lesson - its about the Priesthood.  Our treat is pudding and our game is hide and go seek. 

Then it is bed time.  7:30.  We have a schedule telling us who puts who to bed.  It has been life changing.  Tonight the schedule tells us that Dad puts the girls to bed and Mom puts the boys.  Tomorrow we will switch. 

Once in bed.  Jason and I do... what ever.  Really.  It is different every night.  But more often than not he is watching a movie or playing some sort of computer/Nintendo game and I am catching up on one of my several tv shows.  We are usually in bed by 10:30.

And there you have it - a typical day.  Obviously the fights and the tantrums, and the time outs and the spills are not all captured - but to be honest they are getting to be fewer and fewer.  These days are struggles are balancing screen time and teaching our kids to do chores.  Some days are good, some days are bad, some days are just... days.  Today was a good day. Lately most days are good days (except for 3 weeks in September - those were all bad days - but I will talk about that in another post. :)