Sub for Santa

I am on a new service kick with my kids.  Well... almost.  I have been thinking and plotting it for about 3 months, and in December I did my first thing.  I want my kids to serve.  We live in a very well off neighborhood (more well off than we are), and I just have this feeling that it is not exactly how we wanted to bring our kids up.  If we want to help people who need help, we have to go looking for it.  So this year I plan on having a lot of service opportunities as a family.

Well for our first one we decided to help with some Sub for Santa type activities.  In the past the kids do jobs to earn money to buy their siblings and parents gifts for Christmas.  This year we asked them if they would rather spend that money on kids who aren't going to get presents for Christmas (it was obviously a much longer conversation than that).  Madison was the first to jump of board, then Megan, then Brock.  Noah, however, was not convinced.  It took him a whole day to decide that is how he wanted to spend his money.

Once we were at the store, however, they were all so excited and generous.  Especially Madison and Noah.  Madison could see this little girl in her head, and desperately wanted her to have all the toys.  She would say things like, "She has to have an Elsa dress, if she doesn't have any toys then a Elsa dress will make her look so pretty and she will be so happy."  And for Noah it only made sense to him to buy the biggest lego set you could, because if this boy didn't have any legos then he needed a lot, so he could build lots of other things.  It ended up breaking my heart to have to tell our very generous and  thoughtful kids that while we want to buy these kids toys, we can't buy them everything, and they followed up with , "why not?" "we have it" etc.  It was a good lesson for all of us.

Megan and Madison trying to pick out some toys.

After we bought presents we helped with unloading several vans and trucks full of donations to a needy ward in downtown Denver.  This is what blew me away.  We loaded boxes into vans, unloaded them into one room in a church, and then moved them again into the cultural hall.  These four kids worked and worked until the whole job was done.  With out complaining or being asked to help.  Even Noah who does NOT like to carry things.  They just kept going back and forth and back and forth - I kept waiting for them to stop and start playing or play chase around the church.  They never did - not once.  They knew what we were doing and why and I could tell they felt good inside doing it.

Seeing Santa

My kids have been used to going to Great Grandma Browns "Santa Party".  They have been doing this since they were born (I have been doing it since I was born).  To try to make up for missing it I scheduled a private meeting ar our public library.  There is a story time and then a chance to meet Santa.  

I don't think Madison remembers seeing Santa last year - because she was so excited to see him.  As soon as he came into the room she jumped up off the floor and ran to him and gave him a hug.  I love this age at Christmas!

Brock didn't sit on Santa's lap.  Just stood and leaned.  He was too big.  Broke my heart.  One stage of life is totally over.

Madison is so adorable just admiring Santa!

Then the next week we went and had breakfast with Santa at their school.

And saw him again.  But this time it was not the real Santa, it was obviously one of his helpers.

We decided to do a silly picture with Santa.

Putting up Christmas

I decided to put up our Christmas decorations by myself this year.  Almost every years prior I do it with the kids, it is usually fun - but in the end, after they have gotten bored, it is all left to me anyways, and this year there seemed to be so much going on, that one day during the girls' naps I just went ahead and did it.  I thought they would be mad when they found out.  They weren't.  They didn't even say a word.  Putting up our Christmas decorations alone gave me more time to ponder them.  I ended up finding myself very sentimental.  In fact I even put a post on Facebook (which I rarely do)  it said, 

"While I was putting our Christmas decorations up I was overcome with how much I love them. They represent us so beautifully. Some we got at our wedding, most I made in Provo in the 169th ward, many from the dollar store, some from my mom's old decorations, and several made by family members and given as gifts. They make me laugh because they mostly reflect our poverty over the years - but I wouldn't change them for anything. In fact our stockings are all from the dollar store (they don't even match - they were bought each year as needed!) and today I decided that even if we are one day millionaires, I will keep our dollar store stockings - because that was all we could afford the year we had that particular baby."

Mostly I love the ones that I made our first few years of marriage at Enrichment in the 169th ward.  Many people left comments about how they love their Christmas tree ornaments for the same reason.  I found that I do not have the same feelings about our ornaments (except for about 5 of them).  In fact this year instead of packing them all up I threw most of them away.  Most were broken, and I was sick of them.  they were ornaments from the dollar store about 10 years ago.  I have wanted to replace them for a while, but never did - several reasons - I don't' know really what I would want instead, laziness, and of course money.  I guess I can tell that I feel like we are "moving up in life" when I am throwing away stuff away just to replace later (5 year ago Jamie would be appalled).  

Well, to make up for not letting them help with the house decorations, we all did the tree together (which we usually do anyways).  We all went to pick it out together.  Then Jason and Brock put it on the stand, and had to "re straighten it" about 5 times.  Actually this Christmas was another new mile stone - we got our tree home and found out it didn't fit in our base.  I had to drive back and buy a new one.  Yea for bigger trees!

I never took a picture of the tree or of the house decorated - but when I downloaded our pictures I found one that some child took - I know because the lens didn't open all the way.

And you get a peak of Megan dressed up as Minnie Mouse.  A daily occurrence- although usually it is paired with a witches hat.

Paul Revere

We got through our first "real" school project.  It spanned almost 6 weeks and was integrated into every part of our life.  There was SO MUCH WRITING.  I almost thought it might kill me.  But in the end Brock did great and learned a lot about Paul Revere.  

For the day of his big presentation he had to dress the part.  I thought we did pretty good.

Saturday Morning

The kids wake up before us on Saturday.  Well, just me - Jason goes to the temple at 6:00 on Saturday mornings.  I stay in bed for a while.  They used to watch "shows", but a few months ago they stopped showing Saturday morning cartoons, and at the same time PBS started sometimes not showing their kids shows either.  One Saturday I came down to:

Brock and Noah playing battleship.

Madison playing with her doll house

and Megan reading books.

It was all so peaceful.

Soccer

Brock played soccer again this fall.  This year he really started coming into his own.  He seems to shine more the closer they get to playing positions.  Brock is a very methodical soccer player, and the more "real" soccer gets the more he feels comfortable.

This is the first season they got a goalie and Brock did very well.  He is really good at defense in general, so he kind of excelled at goalie.  He was always ready and always knew where the ball was coming from.

I know these are a million pictures of the same thing.  But they all crack me up.  Plus they are the only pictures i took this season.

Great goal throw.

Can charts change your life??

Yes, yes they can.  I can't believe it is December and I am just writing this post.  Because most of this takes place back in September and October.  

You see, at the end of September I am pretty sure I had a nervous break down.  There was just too much to do.  It was all too hard.  I was barely surviving the day to day of life, let alone being able to accomplish anything long term.  It all came to a head one afternoon while the girls were taking a nap. I decided to read the Ensign for a few minutes while my muffins were in the oven.  The story was about getting our food supply and 72 hour kits up to date and the blessings that would come from that.  I realized this had been on my non-existent "to-do" list for about 4 months, and that I had felt prompted by the spirit on several occasions to get this done, and here is was again!  I started spiraling.  How and when would I do this?  And like a wave, everything came over me, all the things I was NOT accomplishing.  I needed help.  Who could help me?  I text my little sister and asked her if she would quit her job and come move in with us.  She called me back and I poured my heart out to her.  She was so great to listen and help.  She gave me permission to hire someone to clean my house.  Then an hour later my mom called (news travels fast) and I poured my heart out to her, almost word for word what I had just said to Ashley.  She also reminded me that she was almost in my exact phase of life when she hired someone to help her clean the house (I was sensing a theme).  Then Jason came home and asked how my day was, then I poured out my heart to him.  

That night I made a list.  A list of everything that was weighing on my mind.  Here are a few examples of things on that list:

Make a meal plan

Make a grocery list

go grocery shopping

do visiting teaching

Help Jodi (she had just had her 4th under 4)

Find out what winter clothes fit the kids

buy needed winter clothes

put away summer clothes

clean the whole house

get the garden ready for winter

resupply our 72 hour kits (all our food and water had expired and the clothes were from 2 years ago)

Get more long term food storage

research prices on long term food storage/ bulk items

Do the budget for August and September

Figure out an exerciser routine - find a way to include the boys

Update blog

Start genealogy

Talk with Kristina about how to start genealogy

make a plan to teach the boys to work

serve as a family on a consistent basis

go to the temple

Read more chapter books with the boys

Set better rules/expectations on screen time

And that was about 1/4 of the random list that I had created.  I presented this list to Jason and why I felt like I could not even begin to accomplish 80% of it.  I felt like each day was consumed by school, homework, extra curricular activities, playing with the girls, church callings, feeding the family, and keeping the house clean enough; and if something didn't fit directly into one of those categories it could not be accomplished for at least the next 10 years.  I also came to a realization that things were only going to get harder and harder with each passing year.  Through our discussion we both realized that most of my problems came from the hours between 4:00 pm and 8:00 pm - well really 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm.  I was trying to fit too much into post school but pre Jason coming home.  I wanted Jason to come hope to a warm dinner, a clean house, and homework done.  The pressure was eating me alive.  This pressure was, of course, self inflicted, as Jason reassured me that HE can help and I don't have to do it all myself.  Jason was actually leaving for Albuquerque that night for a week, we jotted some ideas down on a paper about how we could fix some of our problems, we were both supposed to ponder the solutions for the week, and we would come up with a plan when he got home. 

Here was the plan following our family council. 

We hung them in our living room after presenting them to our kids.  We mostly shook up our evening routine and our bedtime routine.  For example: When Jason gets home he eats a snack that I have ready for him (only he gets to have it, the kids will not snack at this time).  We will do a half hour of home work before dinner - during this time I can finish making dinner - or Jason can and I can help with homework.  We put a schedule into place for who is putting who to bed each night.  

We also instituted a new chart system for the boys - it was a knock off our chart from the summer that included all four kids - but for the school year the boys needed a better one.   Each day they have to do their high 5 (dress, teeth, clean room, make bed, say prayer), do a job, do lexia (an online reading thing for school), practice spelling, read, and have me sign their planner and put daily homework in back pack.  If they do one of  these things before school (other than high 5), than I send a little treat in their lunch, also they do not get any screen time until all of this is done.  Weekly we decided that if they finish their whole weeks homework package on Monday we will have an awesome treat for Family Home Evening, and also if they do 3 big jobs every Saturday, during the girls nap time they will get a special outing.  We are also doing a monthly family service project.  We also toyed with the idea of the boys going running with me in the morning, but we decided to wait until spring to start that.

We made other random routines that I won't necessarily go into, like how and when things are getting cleaned in the house (I am cleaning by level now).

But after all of that... to the point of my post.  These things have worked, and they have changed my life.  Things are good.  I am organized, I am accomplishing things, I am balanced, and I am enjoying my mothering (most of the time).  I found a way to cross off all the "pending" items on my list (thanks to Jason mostly) and am still accomplishing things that still get put on my list.  (Except for genealogy - all of that has still taken a back seat, hopefully soon I can change that.)  But the best part is I have found so much time to serve other people.  That has been the biggest blessing.  Two or three months ago I felt like I didn't even have enough of myself to give my family, and now, now that I have gotten my life in order, the Lord has magnified me to where I feel daily promptings of people to go help and I feel capable of acting on those promptings, before I would have been to stressed or self absorbed to even recognize those promptings.

I know this was a longs and jumbled post.  But it is important to me to record these things.  Some days are obviously better than others, but the good part is that even in a bad day, I know I have a system that works that we can fall back on to get the bad days... better.  To end this post I just want to say THANK YOU to my wonderful husband.  I am so grateful to him for helping me.  He always makes me feel validated and important - even when my complaints are very trivial and random (and sometimes silly) - he knows they are important to me.  I don't do things the way he would do them, and although that can frustrate him, he gives me space to accomplish the things I need to accomplish my way.  Also he let me shake up our whole routine, because I needed too.  I was the one having a hard time, and he was willing to change his way of doing things to let things be easier on me.  That is so selfless!  I love him and need to remember more often all he does behind the scenes to make my life better.