Aunt Ashley Comes

We were so lucky to have Ashley come out right when Dane was born.  That wasn't the original plan.  She booked her tickets months ago and had planned to be here when Dane was a few weeks old.  But since he came late she actually arrived while we were still in the hospital.  She was so good to adjust and roll with the punches.  She had to take an uber from the airport, stay with the kids overnight, get the ready for school and take them to school.  I am so glad she was there to do all that stuff!

Then she spent the rest of the week playing with my older kids and giving them some much needed attention.  For Madison's birthday she had given her a cake pop machine.  I had tried to make some with Madison but that is NOT my personality type and they turned out terrible - I knew Ashley could pull it off - and I was right!  Maddie wanted to make baby heads and they did it!   Maddie was in heaven!

We watched about 3 Christmas movies together.

 Played a lot of games

And Ashley brought her old school Nintendo and we played that almost all day Sunday.  IT was a great trip and I am so glad she came out and helped me adjust to my first week.

Orchestra Concert

Remember that orchestra concert we had when I went into labor?  Well... here are the pictures.

Noah on his Cello

Brock really wanted to wear a suit.  He was the only one dressed up that nice (a few girls wore dresses).  Everyone commented on how handsome he looked.  He loved the attention.

last times... probably

We often document firsts.  But not always lasts.  I took a picture becasue I would guess this is the last time Brock will get a shoulder ride.

Ward Christmas Party

This was actually before I had Dane.  The kids put on a Nativity and sang "Picture a Christmas".

How things are going

I am going to pause in my catching-up updates to record a few thoughts about how the last 2 weeks have gone.  I wrote this today (the 23rd).

• My recovery has been harder than expected.  Since I lost so much blood I am very tired and weak.  I also can't think straight.  That has actually been something I have noticed the most.  I feel dumb.  I cant think of the right words to say or plan things out logically (which isn't good for a mother at Christmas time with meal planning, shopping, prepping, etc - thank heavens Christmas is super duper easy this year). 
• The kids are amazing.  A whole post is coming about this - but I just need to say it here also. They have been so great - not only about loving their little brother and being helpful, but also with all the changes they are just rolling with the punches.  A few days ago I was saying my morning prayers and a prompting came that I needed to start to reprioritize my older children.  I need to spend a little more time nurturing and being intentional.  It is hard to do when they are only home for like 4 hours - 2 of those hours are spent nursing, and we have dinner, homework, and activities - it is hard becasue they don't need/demand it.  They are happy (for the most part) and can and should take care of most of their own needs.  But the prompting came for a reason - so I am excited for winter break to spend some more time with each of them and see what's going on in their little heads and hearts.
• Speaking of winter break... it is winter break.  I wish I had 1 or 2 more weeks before winter break. 
• Having a new baby is amazing.  I forget that every time.  Or every time I swear I never felt like this before.  It is new and different each time.  How can someone you just met make you so happy?  And progressively more happy every day.  I swear I fall in love over and over again, daily, even hourly.  I feel like I have known him forever and can't imagine our lives with out him.  I feel like, "how was I happy before I met you?".  I don't remember it feeling this powerful with the others - but I know that it did.  I miss him even when we are  not in the same room. 
• I spend most of my days and  nights holding him.  I know I shouldn't - but I can - so I do.  He is like my first all over again - and not my fifth.  I have 7 hours a day with just me and him and I use that just being with him.  I am not overly tired so after the older kids go to bed we snuggle and nurse in my room all evening and into the night. 
• He is my hardest baby.  He is by far and wide harder than the girls - but the girls were a dream.  They honestly slept the first 6 weeks of life.  Megan never even really opened her eyes until she was a month old.  They never cried and I never had to "try" with them.  They boys were a little fussier - but it is kind of hard to remember.  But NONE of them cried in the hospital and he screamed the whole last night.  After I had Madison and she was like a month old I remember thinking "I totally got this.  I am completely confident with newborns.  I know just what to do.  Too bad she is my last becasue I just got good at this."  Since then as my sister, sister in laws, friends and neighbors have had babies I have been competently confident.  I know how to sooth and put to sleep ANY crying baby.  I have helped them learn how and what to do.  Now Dane has turned all that on its head.  I have spent hours trying to sooth him thinking "I don't know what you want!  I don't know what to do".  I feel like a first time mom again.  BUT while I feel like a first time mom - I have the patience and wisdom of a mother with 5.  I am not frazzled, I am not stressed, I have not cried, or felt frustrated or overwhelmed.  I take it all in stride.  Everything is a stage and NOTHING lasts forever (good or bad).  There are not "habits" yet, no patterns.  It will all change tomorrow - and if it doesn't, then it will change the next day. So that is a blessing. *I wrote this bullet point in my head 5 days ago and since then I have discovered that he was fussy becasue he was hungry.  Because of my hemorrhage my milk production is low - I have been pumping more and he is now getting fed better and is now hardly ever fussy and sleeps a lot more. 
• And then there is my dear husband.  Jason is a rock star!  I wish I could have 15 kids with him.  He is so good at doing what needs to gt done and making sure the baby and I are happy and have everything we need.  He has been picking up the slack for months and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight yet - but he doesn't complain and just keeps on keep'n on.  He is my rock and my best friend.

School Projects

Of all the days I had nothing to do because I had cleared my November calendar becasue I assumed I would have a baby - all those days I sat around and had nothing to do - I ended up having Dane during a very busy 2 or 3 days.  While I was in the hospital Brock and Madison had school presentations that they had been working on for months.  Jason went - but I was sad to miss them.

Madison was doing a presentation on Helen Keller.  When we went to Utah over Labor day my mom gave me a box of all my old books.  Madison decided she wanted to read them all - we put a bookshelf in her room and stuck them all on it.  There was Babysitters club, Sweet Valley Kids, and several others.  One of them was a biography of Helen Keller.  Madison read it and fell in love.  She learned everything she could about Helen Keller.  Well... in October when it was time to pick a famous person to do a report about Madison chose Helen Keller.  

She had a picture of what she wanted to look like - and she put the outfit together by herself.  I am SO grateful to Jen for curling Madison's hair that morning.  I felt bad not "being there for her" I am grateful to people who stepped in for me!

Brock had been learning about inventors and his inventor was Wilbur Wright.  They had an "Inventors Banquette" that I had actually volunteered to be an interviewer at - so Jason went and did it for me. 

Brock has really started to take ownership in his school projects and is able to work independently on most things.  I am proud of how hard he has been working to make school work for him.

Kids meet Dane

Me friend and neighbor Jen brought the kids Wednesday night to meet Dane.  She had them bring us balloons, flowers, and chocolates - she knows me so well!  I asked her to video the kids coming in - but she mixed up the record and pause button and missed it (ha).  It is ok though because they came in and asked his name and when we said "Dane" they all complained and whined - so I am glad we didn't get it on tape.  But she did take some great pictures!

I love having these pictures from her perspective!

And then they all got to hold him!

Hospital

Here are some pictures from the hospital.  I love being in the hospital with my newborns.  In my whole entire life the 2 days I am in the hospital with them and Jason (so now 10 days total) are my most favorite and sacred days.  I love having just the 3 of us.  Jason is so attentive and protective of us.  Jason and I get to know our new little child as we get to spend 24 hours with him and we also get to reconnect.  I am so grateful to Krista and Jen (and Ashley) for watching our other kids so we could have that time.

We had some of the most wonderful nurses.  The one that delivered me, Ashley, was especially wonderful.  She has 7 kids of her own!  And the hospital was wonderful with natural childbirth!

He likes to hold in his binkey.  It is pretty funny - and also helpful!

Dane cried the entire last night we were at the hospital - I am almost positive he is our only child to really cry at the hospital.  But he screamed and screamed.  It turns out he was hungry and DID NOT want colostrum anymore - but wanted a full belly of milk.