As I mentioned in a post last year (when Madison went into 1st grade), I knew I wanted to be intentional with my 7 hours a day with out kids. I wanted to prioritize things that are important, I also wanted to be available to help people when needed (I HATED as a young mom asking a stay at home mom with no kids at home for help and they were always "too busy" and I swore I wouldn't be that way), and I wanted to get things done so I could be fully present for my kids from 4 -8 (because those hours will KILL you no matter what!). This year I was even more intentional becasue I realized I was only getting 4 months - and then I would be back in the trenches for the next 7 years or so. So along with my other goals I also just wanted to ENJOY this time and not over schedule it or burn myself out. I was SO hoping Jason would have a job by now. All I ever have really wanted was to get to a place where I could go out to lunch once or twice a week with friends. I looked forward to the day when all my kids were in school and I would do this. Years back I would console myself with "this is not the season of my life, I should be at home napping my kids, one day I will be able to do that". Last year I was able to say, "next year", then once I got pregnant I said, "this fall... I will have 4 months". And now I can look forward to 2025 - maybe then I can go to lunch :) Anyways - I say that to show that I wanted to really enjoy these 4 months. I think I have. I am half way through and while my project list has been relatively ignored, I have been productive, scheduled, and also perfectly unscheduled. Here is my rough schedule.
Monday - work out, clean the house
Tuesday - Work out, institute class
Wednesday - temple
Thursday - work out, service/ministering
Friday - work out
I am working out because: 1)I have always worked out during pregnancies, I believe it makes for better deliveries and better "bounce back" and 2)this baby sits right on my pelvic bone and hurts most of the day - but when I do the elliptical he moves up and I can't feel anything - it is the only 20 minutes of the day I get relief. Monday has remained my cleaning day becasue that is how I was raised. I am emotionally preparing myself to stop doing Monday cleanings once the baby is born. When Madison was born I swore I wouldn't "let the house go" - and I didn't. I stayed on top of it and kept it clean daily and a deep clean on Monday and when she was about 3 months old I realized I had not "chosen the better part" and that I needed to let the house go. I plan to just know that this time and let things go - PLUS this time I have an army of 5 who are very capable and willing. So I just need to utilize them. Click for My post about cleaning after Madison
The best thing I have done since Madison went to first grade was go to the temple every week. There has hardly been a week that I have missed. I have loved my weekly trips and they have become pivotal to who I am. I also think that it showed the Lord that I love him and I will use my time wisely with the time he has allotted me.
My daily schedule:
6:15 -Wake up: This is a natural wake-up. I haven't used an alarm clock is over a decade. I wake up when either a baby wakes me up or when my body wakes up (and a baby hasn't woken me up in over 6 years). I wake up every day at 6:15. When I do wake up I am full of energy and ready for the day. It has been a wonderful blessing and hope it continues. The energy lasts until about 1 and then I am dragging myself through the rest of the day. As soon as I wake up I have to go to the bathroom and eat a bowl of multi-grain Cheerios.
6:45 - wake up kids. Girls are usually already awake. They are my morning rock stars. They wake up and get ready and do their jobs with out any prompting from me. The boys, however, do not do anything unless I am yelling at them. It sucks. Noah's showers first while Brock sleeps a little longer while I give him his medicine. Then Brock showers.
6:45-7:15 - while everyone is getting ready I sit in the hall "supervising" while I read my scriptures. I went back and forth about if this were a good time or not. I settled on yes because it provides me with a dedicated time. I felt sort of bad because it wasn't "quiet and uninterrupted" - but my kids are mostly independent and if I am not sitting in the hall they do nothing but if I am there and say "come on, keep moving" every 5 minutes or so then they get their stuff done. And I also like the idea of them seeing me start my day, everyday with reading the scriptures.
7:15 - family scripture study. For the first time we are reading our scriptures in the morning. With all of our activities this year there wasn't even one day where we would all be home at night together. I think we were all a little skeptical at first that it would work. I didn't want to drag my kids to early morning scripture study - I have negative feelings about children being woken up and forced to read scriptures. I also didn't want to feel like we were rushing through it or get to school. So far it has been great. We do it after everyone is ready - but before we go downstairs for breakfast. Everyone is awake and attentive and we have yet to feel super rushed.
8:30 - either take kids to school - or more often then not - say "bye" as they ride their bikes to school. Then I make a second big breakfast (usually has to include eggs) and then go work out or go to the temple.
9:30 - I get home and shower and get ready, then I spend 20 minutes on family history and 20 minutes on either blogging or journal writing.
10:30 - 3:30: I do what ever. Some days are more scheduled than others. Some days I have spent the whole day chatting with a friend (literally). I spend a lot of time on my calling right now (primary presidency) as I am doing the program and some days spend 5 hours on it. I am blessed to have that time right now. I try to have dinner ready before I go get the kids. And I often have a snack that I make (muffins, yogurt, granola bars, granola, egg muffins etc) and of course there is errand running and grocery shopping. I still like to do service for someone once a week - usually it is some form of child care (my way of "giving back") The last 2 or 3 weeks I have needed a nap in the afternoon. At 3:30 I either pick up the kids or they ride home and are home about 3:50. Then from then to 8 it is usually go go go. One or two kids always come home sad and angry - so I deal with that. I sign planners, go through papers and see what home work they have while they eat a snack. We gave up screen time on week days which has made EVERYTHING better. We have soccer, piano, activity days, orchestra, cub scouts, scouts, Jason's MBA, homework, dinner, my presidency meetings, and my SAC meetings at various days and times through out the week. Girls are in bed by 8. Boys are in bed by 9. I am in bed between 8 and 10 depending on my energy level. If nothing else I am in bed by 8 and watch a few shows until I fall asleep.
Rinse and repeat! Things are pretty easy right now - sometimes I wonder why I wanted to have more kids and throw a wrench in our, other wise, oiled machine. But it will be worth it. But I will always remember these years. I knew they were my "golden years" when I started them and I feel like I have enjoyed them, appreciated them, was intentional with them, and also endured them well. I am not just looking through rose colored glasses. There have been days that have driven me to my breaking point - more days, probably, than not - dealing with older kids' problems and emotions is WAY harder than a crying baby or whining toddler (although you could have NEVER convinced me of that 6 years ago!). I can not even really imagine what life will be like in 2 months or 2 years - but I am excited to see - and I can guarantee it will be great (and really really hard)!
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Madison's Birthday
The week that school started was also Madison's birthday. To be honest I had kind of forgotten about it. Not really forgotten - I knew it was on the 18th - but I just hadn't realized the 18th was on Saturday. I had been so pre-occupied with all of our other problems and my mental health was in serious decline I ONLY dealt with matters as they came up. So planning a party was not even something I thought about - until Tuesday when Madison said, "am I having my birthday party this week?" CRAP! "um... yes. What do you want to do?" After about 2 hours and a million ideas she finally decided on a swimming party. I couldn't have been more thankful. It was easy-peasy and cheap. Everyone in our neighborhood gets into pools for free and we did it right after school on a Friday so we just did cake and a drink. Since Madison is so crafty and creative she wanted to do one activity. We came up with making boats for our dollar-store mermaids to float on. She was happy, I was happy - it was going to be great.
Girls making the boats.
We practically had the pool to ourselves - it was great!
Ivy, Sammy, Talmage, Madison, Megan, Zoe, Delaney, and Lucia
The next day (Saturday) was her "real" birthday and we didn't have ANYTHING planned (no sports or anything). So we let Madison pick a family activity. She wanted to go swimming with all of us AND she wanted us all to get in the water (including me and Jason) AND she wanted Jason to "throw her around". Good things she isn't too specific. The weather wasn't as nice and started to rain - so we ended up in the indoor pool.
Her aunt Ashley gave her a Cake pop maker and her own set of piping tips. She is in heaven. We made them that weekend. She is becoming quite the baker.
Monday, September 17, 2018
First Soccer tournament
On the second day of school Brock had his first soccer tournament. Last spring Brock asked us if he could play competitive soccer. He felt like rec wasn't fun anymore - and I couldn't really blame him - his rec coaches just had him run the field and do everything. I wasn't too into the idea of competitive soccer, I think he is too young to focus only on one sport (especially with how athletic he is), it is SO expensive, and the commitment and toll on the family seemed a little overwhelming. But Jason and he did a lot of research and found a good team for him, he tried out and made it - so we were in!
His first tournament was about an hour and a half away. Emotionally the timing couldn't have been better. I really enjoy watching sports, especially my kids', and Brock is old enough where the games are really fun to watch. After the 2 weeks we had just had going to a soccer tournament all day, by myself and watching soccer games and having one on one time with Brock was just what the doctor ordered. It was a perfect weekend. Having older kids is pretty cool. Brock is so fun and I loved watching him play. I just wished I had a mom, sister, aunt, or grandma to come hang out with me for the day and watch the games!
Saturday, September 15, 2018
First day of school
Our last 2 weeks of summer were the WORST. We were supposed to go to Utah. We hadn't been for our "summer trip" yet - which the kids reminded me weekly of all summer. We (I) had decided to go at the end for a few reasons. 1) Katie was having her baby at the end of July, and I wanted to see the baby! 2) We had 2 weeks where we were in between baseball and soccer - so no one would miss any games 3) there was a third reason, but I don't remember it right now - cuz it doesn't really matter, becasue we didn't go.
Jason couldn't come with us to Utah - so it was just me and the kids. I wasn't worried about driving that long - I wasn't feeling TOO pregnant yet. But 2 days before we were supposed to leave I got sick. Like really sick. The kids were also in varying stages of sick. I knew I couldn't drive that long with how sick I was, and I didn't want to get Utah people (especially the baby) sick. So we called off the trip. Which was a blessing because about 4 days later we got LICE!!!!! I won't go deep into the trauma that the lice caused on my emotional well being - but it was the straw that broke the camels back! I felt like the last year had been one trial after another, I could logically see that things just kept getting worse and worse with no real end in sight - but despite all the trials I was handling them just fine. I felt happy and optimistic about our future and was taking everything in stride. When we got the lice it felt like the last year of trials came crashing down and all of the sudden I wasn't fine. I don't know if it was the pregnancy or what but those 5 days I could barley hold it together. I coped by throwing myself into the lice - the one thing, I guess, I felt like I could control - and checked the girls' hair 3 times a day every day. It would take me 1 - 2 hours to do their hair. Just when I thought I got it all - the next check there would be more. We quarantined ourselves for a week and just spent time watching netflix while I checked everyone's hair over and over and over again. Jason was awesome - he put up with my complaining, did all the washing and disinfecting around the house (over and over and over again) and kept the house relatively running. Things definitely got pushed aside and when things were back to "normal" - it took me about 3 days to put our life back together (cleaning, decluttering, shopping, baking etc). I had a lot of blessings that week from my new ministering sister showing up with homemade bread and jam (she didn't know about the lice) and another friend taking out to PF Changs (my FAVORITE) and scheduling a pre-natal massage for me.
Anyways - school started on day 8 of lice - we had had 2 days of clean checks - but I was still not out of panic mode yet. Despite the girls' demands that they wanted their hair a certain way on the first day of school - I insisted that they have their hair in french braids - all three of us wore our hair up for about 2 weeks.
I do have to say that the kids handled it like amazing rock stars. Seriously. Madison, especially, hates having her hair even touched - she screams and cries all. the. time. But we did the special shampoo and I looked through her hair for hours and hours on end over and over again and she almost never complained. The boys never really had lice, but were quarantined by me for a day - but all of their friends' parents knew about the girls and wouldn't let their kids play with my boys - so for the last week of summer all 4 kids mainly just sat around the house and got checked for lice over and over by a crazy mother - and honestly, they never really complained about it. They were awesome!
The first day of school was rough. None of us had the emotional reserves - we were tapped out. For the first time I was SO EXCITED to school to start and not AT ALL sad. I couldn't wait to get these four kids out of my house so I could DEEP CLEAN it and get it organized. I felt bad about not feeling bad - but I needed to get my life back on track after the lice and I just needed everyone out of the house to do that. But as I walked away from dropping them off I started bawling becasue I knew how drained each of them were - and how horrible their last 2 weeks of summer were. Noah was practically having a melt down as he went into the school. I thought "how can I just leave them here?"
I sat on a bench a bawled for a good 10 minutes until my friend saw me and then we chatted for an hour. It was nice. Fortunately when I picked them up from school that afternoon they came bouncing into the car telling me how much they loved school and what a great day it was - EVEN NOAH!!!!
Anyways... here are the first day of school pictures.
Brock: 6th grade. Mrs. Swier. I love that 6th grade is still in elementary school here. He is excited to be the oldest in the school. And he is doing GREAT - this is is best year ever (so far) and has really been giving it his all. I met with his teacher yesterday and it was all positive and it looks like all our hard work form the last 5 years is starting to pay off! I am so proud of him!
Noah: 5th grade. Mrs. Casey. Noah was bummed about his teacher - he wanted the same as Brock last year. But I think Mrs. Casey will be a great fit. He started the year off rough. But every day is getting better and better. He loves science and is really good at it and has enjoyed making his own comics when ever he can.
I just love these 2 brothers. They are SO different and have total different strengths and weaknesses - but they love and support each other through it all. I have hardly ever seen them fight or be ride to each other. They are both kind and gentle with each others feelings and struggles. I hope it always stays that way.
Megan: 3rd grade. Mrs. Edgett. This is our second time with Mrs Edgett (Brock had her in 2nd grade). Megan will THRIVE in her class. She is so organized and on top of it and has clear expectations for her students. Megan thrives in structure. She is great at almost every part of school. She is in 4th grade math, reads like it is her job, has a million friends, follows all the rules, loves art, and stays organized and on top of her homework. She is a breath of fresh air!
At the beginning of July Megan came to me and said, "mom, can I go to the store and pick out a new dress for the first day of school." I know that sounds normal - but for our family it isn't. I have never bought my kids back to school clothes and they have never been to a store and picked out their own clothes before. I didn't even know they knew "first day of school outfit" was a thing. I knew it wouldn't go on forever (me buying clothes at thrift shops or garage sales or getting hand-me-downs from family and friends) - and that ONE DAY they would want to go to a store and pick out clothes - but I was hoping it would last a little longer. But I, of course, said "absolutely". Once Madison heard Megan's plans she wanted in on the action and the three of us went to Target. It was a lot of fun. The girls are old enough to do it all themselves. They picked out a bunch of outfits and we went into the dressing room and I was able to just sit out and they came and modeled their outfits. It was great! These are their new dresses they bought.
Madison: 2nd grade. Mrs. Henley. Megan had Mrs. Henley last year - and honestly, that bugged Maddie - she wanted a DIFFERENT teacher. But Mrs. Henley is wonderful and I think Madison is very happy now that the school year as started. Madison is very bright and a quick learner. She spends most of her days helping the special needs kids (they put them all in her class again becasue they know how good she is with them). I am pretty sure she is bored at school and is not being challenged enough - but the teacher says she will get there - she is still getting to know the kids.
These sisters are not quite the same as the boys - most sister relationships are more complicated than brother relationships. They are good friends - but are definitely their own person and live more parallel lives. They play together well, but definitely fight and argue. The one great thing though is that they have the same friends and so far that hasn't caused problems. Megan does not treat Madison like the "little sister" and she is just another friend in the group - I hope that lasts!
I LOVE these four people and I LOVE that they are all in the same school for one more year (and the last time they will all be in the same school). I know these last 3 years have been my "golden" years. Life has been simple and easy and fun and I honestly feel like I have enjoyed it to it's fullest.
Jason came out to take a picture of us. I love that he took some pictures of us "getting ready" to take the picture.
This is my heart right here.
After school I had them take some pictures in front of the back to school sign. I tried to get one of all of them jumping in the air - it never worked. :(
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