The first 5 years was written in 2009.
Years 6-10 were written in 2015.
I am writing years 11-15 in April of 2020.
First Year: November 2004-2005
This was our first home. Jason refers to it fondly as the "white crumbly"(it was remodeled when I took this picture - it used to have 2 doors in the front - the current residents made it into a window). Although it was old, small, and drafty (built in 1897), I loved it and I remember being nothing but happy there. We were extremely poor - and we thought extremely busy (now looking back - who's busy without kids??). We had some wonderful neighbors, the Waters and the Ransoms - we still talk about them on a regular basis.
Jason was attending BYU and I was going to UVSC. We were both working, me as a wedding coordinator and Jason worked graveyards at BYU. We also had 2 nieces born in our families. When we got married neither of our families had grandchildren - and we were determined to have the first on both sides (we figured it would be the best way to get the best gifts) - but by our first wedding anniversary we had a niece on both sides of the family.
Brock ended up being the fourth on Jason's side and the second on mine - so we did not accomplish our goal very well.
Marriage was not a big adjustment for us - so this first year went by without too many surprises or problems. The hardest part was balancing my family and his family - they just lived a few blocks from each other - so it seemed like we were always expected at both. When I asked Jason what his strongest memory was of our first year he said I cried every time we ate dinner - the truth is I cried every time I ate dinner - because he wouldn't eat because he didn't like it. After the few fights and lots of tears he has learned to eat whatever I make.
Second Year: November 2005-2006
This was a fun year for us. We had planned a wonderful road trip to West Virginia and through all of the church history sites. We never went on a honeymoon - so this was our "make-up". Just three days before we were supposed to leave I found out I had to have an emergency surgery to remove a dangerous cyst. We were sad (still haven't taken that trip), but it worked out great - the money we had been saving for the vacation went to medical bills and we had already saved up 2 weeks of vacation time at work so I was able to heal and Jason could stay home and take care of me. Some of our favorite memories of being married with out kids took place during those two weeks. We just laid in bed and watched movies and bad TV (America's Got Talent) and talked.
We also moved into our new apartment complex and found out we were pregnant with Brock. We had wonderful neighbors in our new complex (it was the reason we moved there) -namely the Kapfers and the Currens. The Kapfers had the cutest girl named Maggie who we loved and babysat for often. I was working for NET Marketing Alliance, as a legal assistant, and loving it and Jason was a phlebotomist. Jason's little brother Travis left on his mission, Jason and Travis are close so it was quite the adjustment. Jason and I became foster parents this year - unfortunately we have never been able to take placements because of our growing family, but hope to one day in the future.
We also were part of a wonderful married student ward - the 169th ward. We had wonderful friends and really "came into our own". We were married so young - and dated so young - that it seemed like we would forever feel young and that people would look at us as "young". But we really grew up this year and I felt like we were starting to become the man and woman the Lord wanted us to be and the 169th ward really helped in that growth for us.
Third Year: November 2006-2007
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This year is obviously filled with memories of Brock. While I was pregnant with Brock I was working over 40 hours a week, taking 14 credits, AND doing my student teaching (I ended up having Brock in the middle of finals week). Jason continued working as a Phlebotomist and started applying to medical school. We were busy - but I don't remember that part of it much. I had the opportunity to travel for my work several times and I enjoyed that a lot - towards the end of my pregnancy they still wanted me to go, so they sent Jason with me, that was a lot of fun. I remember my wonderful friend Ashley getting me through everything (she was pregnant also) and looking forward to being parents.
Brock was born in April and our whole world changed. We fell instantly in love with him and wondered what we did to deserve him in our lives. When I asked Jason his number one memory of this year he said, "mornings with Brock". Jason took him every morning after I nursed so I could sleep a little longer. He would take Brock out onto the couch and "play" with him. Brock was just a few days or weeks old - but Jason would wiggle his arms and sing to him. I know those were some of Jason's best times. We also had a great apartment complex. Most of the apartments were full of kids and stay-at-home moms. There was Jessica Richins, Ashleigh Smith, Jess Curren, and Ashley Kapfer who all had kids, and Corinne Myers who didn't have kids - but we were great friends. We had a great support net and an awesome ward.
I stayed home with Brock and Jason was finishing up his last semester at BYU. He was working up on campus - so we had him home a lot. Jason and I both had busy callings in our ward and were very involved - it made Sundays hard with all of our meetings - but we loved every minute of it - our ward was great and our testimonies grew.
Fourth Year: November 2007-2008
This year was great. Brock was the funnest, easiest toddler. Which was great because I was pregnant! I have so many wonderful memories of this year I am having a hard time doing it justice. I LOVED being home all day with Brock, we went out and did things everyday and played hard. Jason was done with school so when he came home from work at 5 he was HOME and didn't have to go do homework or anything like that. He was working in Draper at Investools in their Humans Resources department while we still lived in Provo. It was about a 45 minute commute. We had thought about buying a town house up in Draper - but untimely decided to wait (best decision ever, the crash came that next fall). Jason decided not to go to medical school - which was a hard decision - but for the best. He decided to focus on human resources and is hoping to go on and get a masters in it, so this year he was just working and I was home. We joked that is was actually like a "real life".
My sister and I were pregnant at the same time - both with boys! It was so fun and still is! Our ward boundaries changed during this year and we got put in another ward; it was hard. The week before Noah was born my brother Michael left on his mission, my uncle Steve died, and my best friend Ashley moved away (maybe that is why Noah was 3 weeks early - all that could put anyone into labor). I am still feeling the effects and dealing with the emotions of all of those events - especially my uncle and my friend, I miss them both terribly and think of them daily.
Our Noah-boo was born in September - and our lives literally became wonderful. He has been such a joy - he gets better and better everyday. He was such a good baby - but having a newborn with a 16 month old would be hard no matter what - they definitely gave me a run for my money. I was always feeling guilty that I wasn't fully giving either one of them what they needed - I still feel that way... will that feeling ever go away?
Brock was the best big brother and just fully accepted Noah into our family.
Fifth Year: November 2008-2009
This last year has been so much fun with two boys. To be honest though it is kind of a blur. It has gone by so fast. Brock has always been the best older brother to Noah - it has made life easy. I think this year is still too fresh to look back on it with rose-colored glasses yet. The lay-off from and impending lay-off seemed to consume our year. We have wanted desperately to get out of Provo, into a house and on with our lives - but so far that hasn't been in the cards for us. This year we kept thinking, "next month we won't be here anymore", so it has kept us from really making new friends or getting involved in our new ward.
But despite our financial difficulty and our "where are we going"s and "what does our future hold" issues - the central part of this year has obviously been these two boys. They bring more joy to us than we ever imagined possible. Jason and I seem to have the most perfect marriage sometimes - these challenges have brought us the opportunity to truly become one, we are always on the same page and communicate about everything. I think in a few years looking back on this year I won't remember the financial difficulty or the uncertainty, but I will remember the love and happiness in our family life - because when we are all together, everything else just melts away and we get a taste of heaven every day.
Was that cheesy enough for you??
I am still home with the boys and Jason worked full time (up until a few months ago) and now we are all home. Jason has been working so hard at finding a job and I am so proud of him. We now have our good friends, Rob and Jill Tobler, who live in the building and are so glad to have friends to hang out with.
We were able to go to the Salt Lake temple on our Fifth wedding anniversary to do a session - so of coarse I had to get a picture - a before and after of 5 years of marriage.
What will the Sixth Year be like?: November 2009-2010 We obviously don't know what the next year has in store for us - if we would have guessed 5 years ago where we would be now we would be way wrong - if we had to guess a year ago where we would be today we would still be wrong. But we know that the Lord has a hand in all of it and we know that no matter what it will all be for our good. But according to "our plan" - for what it is worth - we should be either be:
In a Masters Program in either Tennessee or West Virginia
or
In a good job in Salt Lake (or close to) and have bought a house
and hopefully have another baby or at least one on the way.
And as for the next 5 years... 2014... who knows??? I am not even going to speculate - I just know it will be awesome and I can't wait!
That is what I wrote 10 years ago. I wrote this (below) 5 years ago
Sixth Year: November 2009-2010
I remember writing the fifth year post and trying to make the best of a bad situation. I did a pretty good job because the truth was we were scared. It seemed as though our future was dark. And truth was we were pregnant and hadn't told anyone. And as "scary" as that sounds - that was the best part of our lives. We meant to get pregnant - we knew it was right. Now we were just waiting on the Lord. However, about a month after that post our lives changed dramatically. Jason got his dream job, an HR manager at a small company - The Coaching Company. It was up in Salt Lake and it payed like a "real" job. We were elated! On December 26th (the day after Christmas) we called a real estate agent and started looking for a house. We found one, closed our contract with our apartment, and moved in with my parents for 2 weeks - then the deal fell through. After everything we had been through financially in our marriage we always said we would never live with anyone - and now here we were, making more money than ever (truth is it really wasn't that much - but is was a lot to us) and living with my parents with our 2 1/2 children. But I could not have done it with out my mom! I was desperate to find us a house and practically dedicated my life to it - I went out almost everyday while my boys were napping with our incredible real estate agent Mike Ulrich and every night after they went to bed, and she was always willing to babysit at the drop of a hat. We would have never found our house if it weren't for my mom and for Mike.
About a month before Megan was born.
We didn't know it at the time but we found our dream home in our dream neighborhood. At the time it was our "starter home" that we only wanted to stay in for 3 -5 years; but now Jason and I talk about how if we ever move back to Utah we would want to buy that house again. It was a good home in a great neighborhood.
We did try to get out a lot (at least once a day) - This is how I traveled. We went to the zoo, Thanksgiving Point, Temple Square, Discovery Gateway, the mountains, the library, anywhere. I wasn't going to be afraid to get out with my three little ones. But then everyday we came home at 1:00 - and EVERYONE took naps. It was fabulous!
Then the summer came and we got some pretty bad news. Jason's company was getting bought out and eliminating the HR department. He would be laid off (again). We just bought a new house and just had our third baby. We desperately took the next available job - thinking something was better than nothing - it was a terrible job and a horrible fit - it only lasted 6 weeks before both Jason and the employer knew that it wasn't a good fit. Here we were again back at square one. At this point things got pretty depressing. It felt like we were destined to be poor and financially struggling forever (even our bishop said that maybe this was our life challenge and that we should prepare for that - I almost punched him :). We ended this year still looking for a job and feeling a little forgotten by the Lord. Our redemption was our children - they brought us so much joy. Jason and Megan created a special bond (he was home) and she fell in love with her daddy. Jason would later say the reason Megan came to our family when she did was so that he would would feel loved and have a purpose to keep going.
Seventh Year: November 2010 - 2011
By Christmas of 2010 things started looking up. Jason got another job at J.W. Bradley in their HR department. I was doing great at home with the three kids. Things seemed stable and we felt like it was a good time to add to our family.
Then, not to beat a dead horse or anything, we found out that Jason's company was going bankrupt (yea for the recession!). On February 2 (Jason's birthday) Jason got laid off. And just to round out his birthday that night our pipes froze and burst, flooding our basement. It was a great birthday. But oh - how we felt carried through that time. It was through the love and service of others that we felt the love of the Lord in our life. Friends, family, and ward members came to our rescue. We received so much and have tried desperately to return that favor. This time around however we were kind of "over" the doom and gloom - it was almost comical and we came to a realization that truly the Lord clearly never wants us to be comfortable in a job and we were destined to live out our mortality in uncertainty and poverty - so we decided to make the best of it.
One day I felt inspired to call an old friend I hadn't talked to in a long time, and when I did she told me that I had been on her mind. She felt like Jason should go work at Fidelity (where her husband worked - he could help Jason get a job). It had nothing to do with Jason't field - but at this point his "field" had not been too kind to us. So we had them over for dinner, and arrangements were made. Jason got the job! We didn't know it then but our turning point had come. (We assumed it was another short term job - we figured the most we could hope for was that it was a stepping stone.)
With our little bump in moral we decided to "fix" our backyard. It was the highlight of our year - especially for Noah who was obsessed with tractors.
It was one of the best decisions we ever made. Our backyard became the heart of our home.
With the addition of a fourth child on the way we obviously needed a new car.
Here is our family right before Madison was born at Jason't brother, Travis', wedding.
Madison was born in August of 2011. Things went pretty smoothly. I got released from Young Women's (I cried for weeks) and got put into Cub Scouts. Jason was still working grave yards at Fidelity and got put into teaching Gospel Principles at church. At this point life was pretty routine and monotonous. Things felt stagnant - but we were at least happy not to be in a major crisis.
We still got out every day. Brock wasn't in Kindergarten yet, and we never did preschool. So I had all 4 of them home all day - and I LOVED it. I mean really really loved it. We got to do what ever we wanted, when ever we wanted, no pick-ups, drop-offs, and no expectations. And they all napped everyday. Since Jason was working graveyard he often got to go with us on our daily outings.
Eight year: November 2011 - 2012
It seems like the first few months with (some) newborns are pretty easy. If you get one that sleeps a lot they seem to be just another baggage item you carry around. And this was Madison. My initial 4 or 5 months of being a mother of four was easy.
But the older she got - and the closer to two Megan got - the harder things got. I never really understood how bad things were until a few years later - I looked back and realized that it had been the hardest year of my life. Looking back I was probably having some post pardon depression. Most days all 5 of us stayed in pj's. As I was looking for a picture to put up probably 90% of them we were all in jammies - I had no make up on and the house was in a mess. (But we were always playing!) I am grateful that I easily came out of it and that nothing drastic ever happened - but it was hard - and I can admit that now. Megan was also my hardest toddler. Brock and Noah were so easy and fun at this age - but Megan, while sweet and loving, was difficult. As the year wore on her tantrums got worse and worse, I remember saying to my visiting teachers, "I feel like I am scared to offend my 2 year old because I don't know how she will react". Now we know that her tantrums were mostly based on the fact that she couldn't see, but at the time we had no idea, and I spent most (if not all) days pushed to the very end of my rope.
I spent most days, again, on the floor surrounded by books, toys, and busy toddlers while nursing a baby.
This was also the year that I became a "hippie" according to Jason. While I was nursing Madison at night I watched a lot of food documentaries and became aware of how corrupt our food has become. I started playing around with how I wanted to try and keep our family food supply pure. Some things I tried and gave up on- some things I kept. That is another post for another day. But it was this year that a lot of really great habits started that drastically changed the health of our family.
When I asked Jason what sticks out most to him in these years he said: The pear trees and wrestling on the floor. We LOVED our pear trees. Together we pruned them, harvested them, and canned them - it was a great bonding experience in our marriage having those trees. We had canned pears, pear sauce, and pear fruit roll ups. We got HUGE pears from them - just look at this one compared to a mason jar!
Jason and I finally got to go on a vacation together. Remember how back in year 2 we planned a vacation that got canceled because of my surgery? Well we never ended up going on it - or any other vacation for that matter. Well, this year my little brother married a girl from South Carolina, so my whole family went back for the wedding (but with no kids!) - so Jason and I finally got a vacation together. It was wonderful!
The best part about this year was our neighborhood friends. It took us about a year to really get acclimated into our neighborhood, but once we did it was heaven. We had the Jones', Adams, Wildes, Hewards, and Colosurdo's. We hung out outside with them daily (yes, we were in pj's and no one judged). And we went on outings with them when school was out. We supported each other, and helped each other.
As the year went on things got easier. I thought this was a great comparison of how our year changed (look back at the first picture from this year). Jason's job at Fidelity was going... good. We didn't know exactly why we were there or where it was going to take us. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and tried not to get too comfortable. I feel like this year we were kind of just holding our breath.
Ninth Year: November 2012 - 2013
This year started out really great. I was coming into my own with four kids. What ever depression or funk I was in I was coming out of it. Jason found a department at Fidelity that he wanted to work in.... maybe forever. Now our prayers were focused in on getting a job in that department. Graveyards was getting old and his current position was still not financially feasible for us. But we were grateful for a job and felt confident that the Lord would provide - we just weren't' sure exactly how.
I loved having year round school because it allowed me to get back into my "normal mothering" when Brock was off. Wheeler Farm was often our destination - it was close and free and made everyone happy.
Megan got glasses. She had been going cross-eyed for about 6 months. Putting her in glasses really calmed her down. Things truly started getting easier once Megan got used to her glasses and could finally see.
We also went on our first family camping trip (sans Madison).
Our summer was absolutely perfect. Everyday seemed like a new adventure. It felt like the world was our oyster. Brock was still young enough to not have any attitude about thinking this were boring, or lame, or babyish and Madison was old enough to do almost everything.
And then....
Jason got a job offer at Fidelity in the department we had been praying for. But... it was in Denver. It was everything we ever wanted - the job, the boss, the hours, the money, even moving out of Utah. The problem was, I as so happy where we were. And I felt strongly that we should stay. But as most stories like this go - Heavenly Father felt stronger that we should go. So after a few weeks of pouting... I got on board and happily moved to Denver for Jason's wonderful job opportunity.
Tenth Year: November 2013 - 2014
Our first whole year in Denver! We did so many things "all by ourselves". I really thought that leaving Utah and our whole extended family would put a giant, un-fill-able hole in my heart - it really didn't. I miss them terribly - and as time goes on, a little more and more. But I think the Lord really wanted me to be happy with the move so he provided me with amazing friends instantly, a great ward, a great neighborhood, and a lot of comfort.
As our "baby" grew up we started actually getting rid of baby stuff for the first time (we never even used to store things - they always just went immediately to the next baby). I haven't talked about it in this post - but we had been feeling for a long time (pregnant with Madison) that she was our last one. We always "reserved the right to change our mind" - but as Madison grew our knowledge that our family was complete grew stronger and stronger.
We enjoyed our first - amazing - winter in Denver. Most winter days are in the 50's or 60's - and then it snows for a day, and you go sledding and build a snowman - and then the next day it is back to 60 - everything melts and you have a picnic outside. It is perfect. I found that my usual "winter blues" didn't happen out here.
Both the boys were in school and it was just me and the girls in the mornings. So (because I might be partially insane), I started babysitting some kids. Mostly for fun. I missed having a baby around and found that I am a better mom and feel more "complete" when I have a nine month old in our home. Plus my girls LOVED having them - it was a win, win for all of us.
I spent almost all of spring and summer working on our front yard. My mother-in-law had graciously taken care of my front yard flower bed in Utah while I had my two girls - and I learned a few things from her. Now it was my turn and I found out that I really love gardening and it became my new (and first) post child hobby.
We also went on our first whole family camping trip.
Our new neighborhood is amazing and everything we ever wanted. Lots of children, lots of mom's to hang out with, and lots of playing.
This year has been the year of charts, lists, goals, and reworking it every few months. Having the boys in school has kicked my butt. Between schedules, homework, sports, scouts, callings, chores, and FUN - there just never seems to be enough hours in the day to do it all. We are finding our footing - but it seems to need to be re-found over and over again. I feel like this year has been the "first year" to the next phase of my life. Some days I am like "bring it on", some days I wish desperately to go back to our simple, mundane days of meals, snacks, parks, naps, and baths, repeat.
Jason has been loving his job here in Colorado. It has been everything we hoped it would be. His schedule for the most part is 9-5 with a pretty short commute. He loves what he is doing and they love him. He keeps moving up in the company - way faster than we anticipated. He has also toyed around with some new hobbies here in Denver - mainly mountain biking - he doesn't love it yet - but he keeps going - which I think is a good sign.
For our ten year anniversary Jason and I got away for a whole week! My mom and dad came to stay with the kids while we went to North Carolina. It was absolutely perfect.
I also opened a preschool in our basement. It has been a lot of fun - and not a lot of work. The whole family really enjoys it and has been a great addition to our lives.
What will the Eleventh Year be like?: November 2014 - 2015 This next year we just plain hope to keep going on our current trajectory. I can't think of any real major life changes we hope for or are striving for. Each year we just hope to keep becoming more financially stable, teach our children the gospel, and serve those around us.
Next 5 years: Our last ten years have been full of benchmarks: Graduate college, get jobs, have a kid, 2 kids, 3 kids, etc. Buy a house, buy a van, get promotions, etc. For the most part all of our goals and ambitions and life "bench marks" have been achieved. Eventually we will start coming back to "benchmarks" - graduating high school, colleges, missions, marriages, etc - but for at least the next 5 - 10 years our life feels like it could be pretty unpredictable. We do not feel like we will stay with Fidelity forever. But when, how, and why we will leave we have no idea. We have toyed around with Jason going back to school and getting his Masters - so that could happen in the next 5 years. In 5 years we will have a 13, 12, 10, and 9 year old. I can't even imagine it. I will hopefully still be teaching my preschool. I hope to still be here in Highlands Ranch (although if I had it my way we would move houses to one with an island in the kitchen). We hope to start doing foster care in the next few years. And we hope to take more family vacations.
This is where I started writing present day. In 2020.
Eleven Years: November 2014-2015
This year we found out why in year 9 we felt strongly that we should buy our house. Living 3 doors up from us was a woman named Krista Weister. As soon as I met her I knew I was supposed to teach her the gospel - the problem was I didn't know how and she didn't want to hear. It took 2 years and a whole family effort, but in April of 2015 Krista was baptized into the church. It all started with Noah inviting her son, David, to our Primary Program. She is such a blessing in our lives and we are so grateful for this experience. After this experience Jason and I were called as ward missionaries. Jason taught the gospel principles class and I went out with the sister missionaries a couple of times a week.
Just 2 weeks later we had another important baptism - Brock's. This marked the beginning of our annual ordinances. Almost every year from now until about 10 years Jason will be doing some sort of ordinance with our children. One will be baptized every year and right after that Brock will get the priesthood and then he and Noah will move through the offices each year - and then when Noah gets the Melchizedek priesthood, Dane will be baptized. This marked the year our family is not little anymore - our children are not babies.
After 2 years in the house we finally got around to redoing our back yard. This was the saddest part of our new house. We talked about our old back yard constantly and it often brought someone to tears. Our backyard was the heart of our home and our new backyard... isn't. When we first moved in there was no grass and a dozen and a half trees and it slopped quite a bit and is tiny (I can't believe I never took a before picture - I guess at the time it just seemed too depressing). We couldn't fix the size issue. But we hired a company to put in sprinklers, fix the slope, tear everything out, lay grass, build a sand box, and assemble a play structure (not pictured). It was well worth it.
Megan started Kindergarten! It was just half day, and Madison and I got to be home alone every day! It was strange but we got into a great routine and it ended up being wonderful. She went to my preschool 2 days a week - and the other 3 days we just hung out. Madison learned that she really liked being the only one and started coming up with really imaginative ways to play.
As the kids grew we continued to have the best outings. I loved that they could all do "big" things. We went on real hikes and real bike rides and swam a lot. Madison was still napping - so our outings were just in the mornings - but they were fun and they were easy.
Just so everything doesn't look rosey and beautiful this is also the year things started to get hard in our marriage. The troubles had been building for 2 years. I won't go into why, or how, or what but things got really bad. It felt like our happy life that people saw on the outside or on our blog was all a facade. I don't know if the things we did with the kids were an escape or the only way to cope - but I seemed to throw my heart into the kids and Jason threw it into work (not in a bad way - he was doing great at work and he felt successful there). Things were unraveling and we didn't know how or when it would end, things would only get worse for the next few years. It took years to get to a place where we could catch our breath - we are breathing now (sometimes) - but still battered and bruised. I could mention this in every year going forward. But I won't - but it is the underlying current in all of our stories. We love each other and that is enough.
Year twelve: November 2015-2016
We really had 4 big kids this year. I think I have said that for the past 4 years - but each year they get bigger and we can do more things and we realize we are in our "golden years" and each year just gets more golden. With our kids so close in age it is great that Madison can do everything and Brock still loves doing stuff with us.
We wanted to see how long they could drive in a car (thinking of doing a Disneyland trip in a few years) - so we drove to Boise to see our good friends, the Bells. It was our first real family vacation. It took 2 days to drive - we stayed in a hotel on the way. It was awesome!
I also got to go to Women's Conference!! I never thought I would get to go again since moving - and then my amazing husband said that was stupid and I should go every year. I LOVE Women's Conference.
I am a little embarrassed to say but this is also the year we started reading scriptures together as a family. Before this I would read a scripture story from the children's picture book everyday. But Jason was gone for like the whole month of January and I just decided to start. I got everyone their own Book of Mormon and this carrier (so we could do it anywhere in the house) and we started. Megan and Madison weren't reading yet - so I read a verse and they repeated after me. The miracle of the Book of Mormon - we started in January and by March both the boys had gone up 2 grade reading levels and Megan and Madison were both reading proficiently. This is what turned our kids into readers. We have read it every day since.
We also started having real jobs. We used these pockets and popsicle sticks to keep track of all of the things they needed to do each day.
We also had ALLLLLL the Herbert's to our house for a Herbert family reunion. It was so much fun. It, of course, came with some drama (most large families do) - but the children loved playing together and I enjoyed hosting 28 people at our house!
Then...
We decided to add to our family! This is Ammon. He moved in with us in August. One day I was looking on our stake's facebook page looking for a bike to buy for Brock when I saw a post about a 15 year old boy from Utah who needed a place to live for 9 months while he played hockey here in Denver. I just glimpsed at it then went to bed. All night I thought about him. In the morning I told Jason how I couldn't get the post out of my head - he said we should do it! We LOVED having Ammon in our home. It was one of the best things we ever did.
Madison went to Kindergarten!! What was I going to do with myself? Well... I cleaned on Monday's, had Preschool Tuesdays and Thursdays, went to the temple on Wednesdays, and ran errands on Fridays. Madison rocked Kindergarten! I just adored having all 4 of them in elementary together - and they loved it too. Brock and Noah were even in the same class this year - Mrs Prin's 3/4 split. They loved being in the same class.
Life was pretty good. Every year Jason was making more money and our kids were growing wonderfully. Jason got called to serve in his most oft-called calling: Sunday School President and I stayed a ward missionary. During this year Jason's job started to get a little more unstable with his work wanting to de-emphasize teaching and training and go to a more, cost effective (lesser quality) digital training. We were still struggling in our marriage so we started going to marriage therapy.
Year Thirteen: November 2016-2017
When we started this year we thought we had found our stride and the world was our oyster. All our kids were officially "old" and could realistically do anything we had enough money and time to do. It seemed that everything we had worked for in the last 13 years had led us to this point. There were no more excuses. In the past I would say "that is not the season of our life for _____". But that no longer was true. We could literally do anything. That is probably why we took Ammon in - why not? I/we started to be much more intentional about our parenting and family life, trying to mold these young children into who we wanted them to be. We started doing a lot of service and a lot of work around the house. Following the church's council we started mentoring a refugee family, the Tukka's, participated heavily in "Light the World", became a Cup of Noddle collection home, really put in a ton of work to teach the children how to clean, cook, and work, and had every new family in the ward over for dinner. We were building. We were also DEEP into activities. Everyone was always doing something. We were busy, but I don't believe over scheduled. I always promised my self that no matter how busy we were I would always make dinner and be together as much as we could. I am pretty sure we have done everything here is a non-comprehensive list (not all at the same time): soccer, football, baseball, softball, dance, gymnastics, piano, art classes, orchestra, chess club, choir, quiditch club, battle of the books, drama/plays, not to mention boys scouts and activity days. We had something (often multiple somethings) every night. We also stopped having screen time on weekdays. Doesn't sound like a big deal - but it was and has been wonderful!
We decided to take the family to Disneyland! It was the best trip ever! We brought Aunt Ashley along with us to help. When we went Jason and I often said we were doing it for the children and that neither of us had a desire to go or expected it to be worth the money and effort (from our point of view) but when we were done we agreed it was a wonderful vacation and was totally worth it.
I also got to take Krista to Women's Conference! We did a whole Utah trip - went to several temples spent about 9 hours on Temple square seeing all the sites and a few other sites around Utah. It was a perfect "reward" for her conversion - it was MY kind of vacation (9 hours on temple square? Yes please!)
We were shaken. But not really. Jason hadn't been happy at work for a while and had anticipated this happening. He was in the "prime" of his career and had a lot of opportunities before him. He got a GREAT severance and we had a lot of savings. We weren't too worried and figured this wouldn't last too long. We decided it was best to not go too fast in finding another job, but to wait until Jason found the job he wanted, he wasn't sure what his "next step" was. We had been through this before and the Lord always guided us... we weren't worried. I also got released from a ward missionary and put into the Primary Presidency. I let my self be sad for 24 hours and then I decided to embrace this new role I hoped I would never have. Turns out... I love primary. I was also still really enjoying teaching preschool. Jason finished his book he had been writing for a few years and ended up self publishing it through Amazon.
Since Jason was home the rest of the summer we took a 12 hour rode trip to visit Jason's brother in Arkansas. We had never visited them before. It was WONDERFUL to create a relationship with a family on Jason's side (we have been back several times since). We ended the year with an obvious setback. But we had a plan. We were still going to move forward with our plan to extend our family, and we felt like the lay-off was going to lead us to a new place that we were supposed to be - we knew it would be a blessing and that our new story was just beginning.
Year Fourteen: November 2017-2018
Our fourteenth year got off to a rocky start. In fact we might agree November 2017 was one of the worst months we have experienced. Despite our faith and optimistic outlook on the lay-off it had been 5 months and he didn't have a job. Not only did he not have a job he didn't even have any real prospects. Things were not going the way we had imagined. During this time he decided that he would go get his Master's in hopes of getting a job at a University after he graduated. It was nice to have a plan - but we also needed a job for the next 2 years. I was also pregnant. No one knew. This was a bright spot. We are always excited to have a baby - no matter what our employment or financial situation is. Well in November I went in for my first appointment and discovered I had miscarried. It was all a little more dramatic than that. It took about a week to confirm. During this week of "have I or haven't I" we had a mouse infestation. The heartbreak of losing this pregnancy and constantly carrying dead mice found in our traps was too emotional for the both of us (mostly Jason since I never touched or even looked at the dead mice). The day after my D and C we went to Utah for Thanksgiving. My brother Daniel had just had a baby and I spent the week holding her. It healed my aching heart. Things didn't look up all year. In fact things only got worse. We took a risk on self employment at the beginning of the year (we felt very guided to do it) - but it didn't go the way we thought it would. Everything started breaking and jobs seemed to get further and further away. We were living off our savings and food storage. Luckily we had plenty of that. We had a lot of blessings and tender mercies along the way. Jason would spend this whole year unemployed.
During this time we also learned that both Jason and Noah had Autism. We had been researching and discussing things since April of 2017. We knew something was going on with Noah - we had a lot of concerns, and in doing the research we discovered that Jason also fit the criteria. Both were tested and both got diagnosed. This was actually such a blessing for me and helped me really understand my role in their lives and really understand who they are and where they are coming from. I didn't know it but before I was floundering and had unrealistic expectations - with these diagnoses I could move forward with faith and with a plan!
In the spring we found out I was expecting again. This is how we announced it on Facebook. At the time we didn't know if it would be a girl or a boy (a little girls shoe was just the easiest to find).
Megan was also baptized this year - her baptism brought other wonderful firsts like activity days and taking her to the general women's session.
We had a wonderful summer. It was spent in the most chill, relaxed, and fun way we could. Looking back it was a pretty perfect summer. I was VERY aware that this was my last summer of long lazy days at the pool and stress free relaxed days. From this summer on I would be balancing babies, toddlers, tweens and teenagers for the next 10 years. I was up for the challenge but we were going to enjoy our last summer of just big kids. We did whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. Jason was home which made it even more perfect because if some of the kids didn't want to do our activity that day I could just leave them home and know they were still under a parents care and not just watching screen time all day :) Our neighborhood also got us through this hard time. My dear friend, Jen, was my main support - she constantly was looking out for us/me and served me every chance she got.
Plus we got to go do some fun family things mid week - like a Monday through Wednesday camping trip.
We also went to Arkansas for 10 days which led to one of the greatest trials of my life!! Below is a picture of the first day of school. You will notice all of our hair is pulled up and/or short. We came home from our cousins house with lice. Dealing with lice during your last week of summer and 6 months pregnant was more than I could handle and I snapped. Literally. I had been coping so well with all of the trials and challenges we had been enduring for the last year and this was just one too much for me. But as with all of life's challenges, we did get through it. Turns out I actually handled it pretty good because we were 100% lice free in about 7-10 days which is apparently unheard of and many other people who get lice are often dealing with it for weeks or months - so I guess going a little crazy/ocd can reap benefits. The kids going back to school also puts me back at the start of a new preschool year... usually - but with the birth of our new baby we deiced that I should stop preschool. At the time it was "put it on hold" - but now I don't think I will ever go back to it. I loved doing preschool and am so grateful that I had a perfect home, situation, and husband that facilitated a wonderful hobby that I loved. And while I COULD have done it with a baby (lots of women work with babies), frankly I didn't want to... and again I am so grateful that I have a life that allows me to NOT work because I don't want to. Jason has provided me with every desire of my heart and I love him deeply for it.
And I included this picture (below) because it represents to me the tender mercies we received during this phase of our life. As we creeped closer and closer to Halloween it felt like we were stepping closer and closer to the edge of the cliff - it felt that way because it WAS that way. By mid October we had about $1,000 left in our savings account. Our baby was due in December but the way things were going it looked like any day and we had a HUGE deductible we were going to have to pay when he was born. There were a lot of other things/expenses going on that I either don't want to share or, honestly, can't remember anymore. But the love and care of people around us was amazing - including our own children. I could go through each costume and tell a story about how or who lovingly sacrificed so our kids could have a great Halloween. This picture to me represents love, sacrifice, humility, and a good attitude! In October we asked our ward to fast for us. We were overwhelmed by the loving response. On Sunday they fasted, on Monday Jason's inbox was flooded with job referrals, and by Thursday that week he had a job offer - that is still blessing us today. Prayers are answered.
Year Fifteen: 2018 - 2019
Our fifteenth year started out in a way we never would have envisioned in any of our previous years. After 8 years of no babies we were awaiting the birth of our fifth child. Dane was our only child to come late - 2 days late. While there was part of my heart that knew we would have more children there was a larger part of my brain that was just so happy with the family we had. Bringing Dane into our family was the best decision we ever made. He has brought more joy to our family and to each one of us individually then we knew was possible. To quote Madison, "I didn't know I could be this happy." Jason and I are a great team when it comes to being pregnant, birthing, and newborns. Our fifteenth year of marriage starts a new chapter of our life... one that elongates these "child raising years" but it will be worth it!
In January the church announced that all boys turning 12 that year could receive the priesthood in January. Brock decided to be ordained in February when Dane was getting blessed. Having our oldest son ordained a deacon and our youngest son blessed was such a wonderful tender mercy.
Jason's year was pretty busy settling into a new job and continuing on with his Master's program. He also started teaching the 16 and 17 year olds in Sunday School. They love him and he is changing their lives! I spent the summer all over the place. Dane was an easy baby - and as I did a decade earlier - I learned the best way to get out with your baby was to just .... get out with your baby. We went swimming, hiking, bike riding, and everything else that we would do before Dane was born. Dane learned to sleep great in his stroller and nurse anywhere. The kids loved having him around and playing with him at the pool or watching him discover new things. And, because I am just THAT mom, I always had 2 or 5 other neighborhood kids with us. I was still serving in the Primary Presidency and was working like crazy putting together our primary program. All the hard work I had done over the last 4 years paid HUGE dividends this year as the kids were all capable and willing to keep the house clean, running, and happy. They helped with everything especially daily chores, Monday deep cleaning, and cooking (including making and cleaning up their own lunches everyday.) They also learned how to take care of Dane. During the summer we also discovered that Megan had Celiac Disease. This sort of up ended mine and Megan's lives. It has taken nearly 9 months to feel a little bit normal and like "we got this". Megan has been amazing and Jason has been my rock.
In August Madison was baptized - and with that our "first set of kids" were all on the covenant path and Jason and I have really settled into focusing on the spiritual development of our family. We have been dedicated to Come Follow Me, church activities, Family Home Evening, morning devotional and all things like that. I spent the last few years really getting into family history and getting to the temple often. Not that we hadn't done those things before, but with all the changes the church has been making we are definitely Home-centered - which has always been our goal to begin with. We also instituted "special time" with so many kids - and especially with 2 babies we wanted to make sure none of our kids got left behind - so every month a kid gets to go have "special time" with mom or dad.
In October we made good on a promise made 2 years earlier - to take them to General Conference when Madison turned 8 and we could "all" go. It was the only family vacation we took that year and it was perfect. I love that our kids love general conference! At the very end of our fifteenth year we found out we were pregnant with our 6th child. It was a few months later then we were hoping - but THRILLED that it happened and they will be so close together. Despite some of our other life hiccups and disappointments Heavenly Father has always blessed us with the children we wanted almost EXACTLY when we wanted them - and that is the greatest blessing and only one that really matters. I also got released from the Primary Presidency as soon as the program was over. I wouldn't get another calling for 4 months!
What will year 16 be like? (November 2019-2020)
Well... now it is anyone's guess. If I would have been on the ball and wrote this in November of 2019 I would have been DEAD wrong. But as I sit here in April of 2020 the future looks pretty bleak. It is day 35 of quarantine due to corona virus. Even if this does "end" soon I think it might take the whole year before we can go do things like we did before. Our spring was supposed to be full of sports and activities - I got passes to fun places to take Dane every day/week to really enjoy him at my FAVORITE stage (14 - 18 months) while the kids were in school all day before our next baby was born and it is just him. (Well... I just started bawling at the realization of what I just wrote). Even if things start letting up the kids aren't going back to school until the fall and even that is looking unlikely. Basically what I am trying to say is that I can not even fathom how the rest of the year is going to turn out. Some people are pretty confident our summer will be the same as always.... I am not so sure. However, I have LOVED quarantine. It has been one of the greatest blessings. The only sure things that are happening this year are: Jason graduating from his Master's program in May and Having a baby sometime time summer.
What about the next five years? (November 2023-2024)
In five years our children will be 18, 17, 15, 14, 6, and 5 - phew. This year will START our new phase of life - back to "milestones" happening every year (graduating high school, missions, marriages, baptisms (again), and grandchildren). But these next 5 year are our last years with all our children in our home. I hope they are full of happiness. I hope we can take some great family vacations (even though we will have toddlers and teenagers). One vacation that is most important to me is a church history tour - from New York to SLC - hitting EVERY stop. While my hearts yearns to still be here in Highlands Ranch in 5 years - both my head and heart tell me that won't be the case. I am quite sure Jason will be teaching at a University and we will move to where ever that University is. In my pie in the sky dream our house will have a island in the kitchen, a great back yard, and a third car garage with a boat in it :)
