Charts and processes

When the older kids babysit the babies things are a little more complicated than they used to be. So when we go I make a lot of schedules, lists, charts, or ideas for them.  I found a bunch and were going to throw them away, but I decided to snap a picture.  It gives us a pretty good shot of our stage of life.

 

Recognizing the blessings of creation

 One of the blessings of growing through life stages and parenthood is being able to see Heavenly Father in a new light and coming to appreciate different aspects of His character and our relationship.  It seems I have an epiphany every year or so as I figure out new parenting situations and grow in my marriage.  

This week was one of those times.  I love being outdoors.  I love camping, hiking, boating, skiing, and just being in nature.  I would always perfect to be outdoors than indoors (except in the cold).  I have had many spiritual experiences in nature and always feel close to God there.  BUT I am not one of those people who are overly moved by the beauty of nature or have linked God's love for us by the beauty of the earth.  In Sunday School when the teacher asks "how do we know God loves us?"  I NEVER think, "because of the beauty of the earth.  Someone else always give that answer and I always think "really?  that seems pretty abstract and unrelated" I recognize it, I appreciate it, I use it, but I don't feel overly grateful or moved by it.  A little disassociate, I know, but it is true. 

This weekend was a busy one.  We had a lot of different things going at once.  I wasn't going to mention them all.  But as I have been reading my blog books from previous years I am always sad when I left out information, especially seemingly useless details.  So for records sake here is what was on my list starting on Friday:

Fill 100 eggs for the ward Easter egg hunt.

Megan's birthday party was Friday night so I needed to

Make 16 cakes for her friends to decorate

make about 10 lbs of frosting

hang Megan's pictures

decorate for Megan's birthday

wrap Megan's presents

make Megan's birthday dinner

go to ward Easter egg hunt (4:30)

eat Megan's birthday dinner 

Madison soccer practice (4:45)

Boys go to school play (7:00)

Megan's party starts (7:00)

Help 8 tweens frost double layers cakes

Saturday

Make Megan's birthday breakfast of Panikakers

take brock to drivers ed

2 soccer games

Madison signing national anthem with school choir at Rockies baseball game

Help Brock write talk for church

Dye Eggs (never happened)

have a Easter devotional

Get ready for Easter (eggs, candy, baskets, etc)

Sunday

All the Easter stuff

Make avelskeivers

help brock prep for talk

Make Easter spiritual

do the candy/hunt stuff

make Easter dinner

ok.  All the stuff wasn't really the point of my post.  The point was I have been working for 3 years now to make Easter one of our favorite holidays, even more than Christmas.  This comes with a lot of prep and intention on my part.  Changing our home, routines, and feelings, and activities in our home like we do for christmas or other holidays.  This year because we were so busy on Saturday  night I set up a pretty table for our Easter breakfast.  I had found a pretty lace table cloth at a garage sale last summer and got Easter tableware and put in up a center piece.  This doesn't sound like a lot.  But it was kind of a big deal for me.  I am not overly cutsie or creative and I definitely don't see little details.  But I wanted to create a feeling of special sacredness in the morning (we weren't doing eggs and baskets until the afternoon).  I stayed up later prepping and woke up early to do more of the same.  

As the 7 other people in my home woke up and came in and out of the kitchen only 1 (Megan) said anything about the table.  Now, I really don't want this to come off as marterish or overly critical.  I didn't do it so they would say anything to me.  I wasn't offended or hurt.  I didn't do it for them to notice, I did it for me to be intentional and to create a certain feeling - both of those things were accomplished.  But as the day wore on it was spinning in my head - my whole weekend, my whole life.  I spend all this time setting up, prepping, and being intentional for my family and kids.  I know they love it and it has created a happy life for them, even though they don't even notice it or appreciate it.  They just come to expect it or see it as back ground happenings.  Then we went to church.  I love Easter Sunday because i love to sing the Easter songs.  I saw the program and the ward song picker only picked one Easter song, the others were songs about creation and beauty.  I was annoyed.  Until I started singing them.  That's when I got it.  I have spent my life being my children.  I love all of His creations.  It makes my life wonderful.  But I don't see those creations as a manifestation of His love for me.   How wrong i have been.  As a parent I see that I try so hard to "prepare" for my children and I notice when they use those preparations, and even appreciate those preparations, but I wish that they did link it with my love.  I wish that they saw that and thought "wow, mom really loves us. She loves us so much she stayed up late and woke up early and even made a beautiful table, something she isn't particularly good at, so that we could feel the specialness of the day and the magnitude of what Christ did for us."  I know that is way too much to expect of kids and teenagers... but God should expect it from me.  And... during Sacrament meeting, while singing "For the beauty of  the Earth"  I became overly overwhelmed by all the preparation He puts into my life.  Just so that I can have a beautiful life and have wonderful experience and I can feel His love.  

Outings

Once Dane got his cast off and it seemed that almost everything was open up from post covid, I decided to dive right in to activities with the babies.  In my previous mothering years we went on outings and activities daily.  In Provo it was several a day.  In my "low weeks" it was at least once a week.  Typically I had mom groups to do this with.  I have tried for over a year to find a mom's group - but alas I haven't found one.  So I just decided to do it alone. 

We go on a "big" outing 2 or 3 times a week and then "smaller" ones (library/park) 2 or 3 times a week.  It is actually still terrible.  I have been doing this for almost 8 weeks and we have yet to have a wonderfully good day/activity.  It is pretty sad and defeating actually.  But I am determined to power through and keep going, figuring their behavior/attitude will catch up as they get used to it.  But they are pretty whiney and generally unhappy on our outings.  I really think if they had some friends with them that would help.  They really don't have any friends so they are just missing a TON of developmental stuff.  

But even on bad outings we have good moments.   Because they really are the best.

We went to a science museum.

Almost every week we go to open gym. 

I actually don't take a lot of pictures at our outings.  Mostly because one of my MAIN GOALS is to not be on my phone at all.  Well... this time around my camera is my phone, so it is risky to take it out and take a picture, (because I usually see 5 or 6 texts) so if I decide to take a picture at all I do it all at one moment.   I really love spending my day with them.  It is so different than what it was the first time around, and I am having to readjust my expectations almost weekly.  Life just isn't as predictable and calm as it was 10 years ago.  But I am trying hard to give them opportunities and to build relationships and joy in our home and family.  

 

Skiing

For Christmas the kids all asked to go skiing again.  I did a little research and decided the Loveland would be the best/cheapest/closest that would fit for all ski levels.  We took a day off of school, Jason watched the babies and off we went.  One of my favorite things about these kinds of outings is that I have my older children trapped in a car for a few hours and I get to play whatever I want and they have to listen.  And if you have ever ridden in my car you know that is conference talks.  Fortunately my kids also like conference talks, but the noise of the world always help them forget, but just one or 2 talks in and they are enthralled and offer great questions and insights. 

But back to skiing.  It was Megan's first time, so she was my buddy.  She was very frustrated at the beginning.  It was better when they were all learning together last year.  No one was rushed or annoyed, we just took our time.  But she wanted to be able to do it like her siblings and she was annoyed she couldn't.  Within the first 5 minutes we had some tears and wanting to go sit in the car and read a book.  I sent the other off to ski my themselves, gave her a good pep talk, and told her I didn't care if we spent the whole time on the bunny hill, I was just happy to be with her.  She dug deep, found some perseverance - and she figured it out.  By lunchtime she was skiing like her siblings.  

I absolutely love spending time with these 4.  They are some of my favorite people.  I love when it is just the 5 of us.  Because it ALWAYS used to be just the 5 of us, but now it almost NEVER is, and it makes me feel like a their "old mom".  I love it.

Brock was almost always off by himself, so I never got a picture of just him.  All of them had improved so much from last time.  Noah got a lot more daring and really excelled at going fast and doing some jumps.  And Brock and Maddie really learned to slow down, control, and stop.  We didn't have any major wipe outs and I don't think Brock ever skied backwards.  Although Maddie did drop several things off the ski lift and skied into sever feet of powder off the path.  I really saw how self sufficient and resilient Madison is.  She created a lot of BIG problems for herself.  But with each one she didn't pout, complain, get discouraged, blame it on someone else, procrastinate, get frustrated, wait to be rescued, or ask someone to do it for her.  She buckled down and figured out how to solve her problem, even if it took 30 minutes, even if it meant walking all the way up the ski hill (a few times).  It was cool to see.

Skiing is great becuase you get one on one time with each during the lifts, or group time, alone time on the runs, you are in nature and have time to be with yourself and God, also you are doing something hard and have to push and challenge yourself.  I find it perfectly wonderful!

Playing in the snow

Our snow fall cam pretty late this year - but we sure enjoyed it when it came.  Dane still loves to shovel and did it every day, multiple times a day.

If you are thinking, "that picture looks familiar?"  you are right.  Click here)

They both enjoyed our sledding hill.

Most days our driveway was slippery enough.

And we built a snow man.

The older kids didn't go in the snow much.  I think they went sledding only once or twice, and nobody really earned any money shoveling snow.  However both boys shoveled our neighbors driveway as a service of their own volition.  So that was nice to see.

 

GEORGIA!!

Sometimes you don't know how much people mean to you until they are gone... or at least not as close.  I knew Veronica was a good friend and that I appreciated her friendship when they lived here.  But I didn't know how vital her presence was in my life.  I realize that all the joy and hominess that we found in Colorado was because of the whole Birch family.  When Veronica moved to Georgia I found she left a huge void.  Luckily we have decided to stay in constant contact.  We share our insights, promptings, and spiritual experiences, often, daily with each other.  We are on similar spiritual journeys.  Our friendship has become more dear in the last 2 years than when they lived down the street.

Her wise husband noticed our connection and decided that for her 40th birthday she deserved 48 hours of constant gospel discussion - and he knows me well enough to know that I would happily provide that!  My 2 favorite topics are religion and politics - and Veronica is the same (although we disagree on some politics:)   So he flew me out for a weekend.  It was wonderful.  I love her children and her husband and it was a wonderfully uplifting weekend that made me wish is was a week... or a lifetime.  There are some people who I know would make my life better if I lived next door to them.  One is Karli the other is Veronica (well... the whole Birch family).   They really inspire me and uplift who ever comes into their home.  They are great gatherers and lifters and always have their eye on the ball.   

 I was there for just about 2 days and we did the most important things.  We went to the temple, attended a RS super-Saturday activity with wonderful speakers, and ate Aaron's food.  Other than talk, that was really all we did.  It was heavenly.