Having a third child... and a girl

This will probably be a lot of random thoughts about my upcoming delivery. I am just in the mood to post, and of coarse, this is what is on my mind.

One of my friends has always done things about a year or so ahead of me (college, marriage, one child, own a home, two children, etc), so I have always looked to her for advice and a gage of how to handle things. It also helps that I think she is the most perfect mom and wife... and basically wonderwoman. When she had her second child I was pregnant with Noah, I was constantly asking her, "is it hard?", "What is the hardest part?", "Are you overwhelmed?", "How do you meet both their needs?" etc, and her answers were always really positive and optimistic and she always was saying that it wasn't hard. So I went into my "mothering of two" stage very optimistic, and I found that I had mostly the same experience as her, I thought it was great. It wasn't very hard, and the abundant joy and fun definitely outweighed the times when they were both screaming.

So my friend had her third child about 4 months ago and knowing that I was pregnant with my third I figured that I would gage off of her experience again. So I asked her "Is is hard?", not really listening for an answer because I knew it would be the same, "No, it is really great" answer. She threw me way off guard when she said, "Yes, 3 is really hard."

What?

Really hard! I had not anticipated this. I know she can do ANYTHING, about 3 times better than I can, so if it is hard for her (and her kids are further apart than mine), how am I supposed to do this? I started getting the same comments from other mom's who had 3 children under the age of 3 or 4. My Aunt Pat said, "this one will kill you, you just can't do anything, you can't manage 3 children that young all by yourself, you just have to live in survival mode for about a year or two." A family friend said, "You can't go anywhere, you just have to stay home." My saving grace, the thing I just keep going back to is my mother. I will have my first 3 children in 37 months - my mom had her first 3 children in 37 months as well. And she really doesn't have anything negative to say. She said, "I am sure there were hard times, but I don't really remember them, you just do it."

Despite all this "negativity" (no one has been negative, just honest) I am nothing but excited for this baby. Is it extremely prideful (or ignorant) to think that I can do it. Because I really think that I can. I have decide just to embrace this stage in my life and let the rest go. This is not a time for me to be going to lunches in the afternoon, I should just be at home napping my children. This is not the time to always have a perfectly clean and organized home. This is the time to have a very child friendly home, it will only make my day easier. I think if I just embrace it and have my goal to do what is best for me and my children, I think we will be ok. Is that extremely naive? We will see.

Not to mention this is a girl. I have had my roller-coaster of emotions on this fact. It's not that I didn't want a girl... it was just that I was SO SURE it was a boy. I mean, SO SURE. So I just had to readjust the "picture" I had for our family, and now I am so excited. Excited to have Brock and Noah be really close and have this cute, wonderful little girl that they get to learn to be gentle and delicate with. I am exited to have "the boys" and then me and the baby. It will be wonderful to have another girl in the home. I am intimidated on what to do with her. Both my boys were throwing balls at around 3 months, is that the same for girls? Do I need to buy other "girl" toys, or can I just have my basket of balls and cars for her?

I am also really excited for the birth. I have pulled out all my hypnobirthing stuff and am listening to my affirmations daily. To be honest, I love the whole birth process - I find it so wonderful. I have told Jason that if when we are done having children I want to be a surrogate because I just love giving birth, he told me no - boo.

A few quick facts - in case you were wondering

• We moved in with my parents until we close on a house (originally it was supposed to be February 23) - but the house fell through - so now we are trying to hurry and find another one.
• This housing thing is hard... when to settle... when to be picky... how am I supposed to know?!? We have put an offer on 4 houses. We have one currently that we are supposed to find out on Tuesday if we get it. We REALLY need to get it - I am at my breaking point. (um... did I REALLY just complain about looking for houses, if I would have read this on someone elses blog 2 months ago I would have been sick, "oh - you poor thing, having a hard time buying a house" how easily we go from one complaint (we have no job, no house, a baby on the way, no money, etc) to another. I think I need a lesson in gratitude!)
• Noah went to nursery for the first time last week. He did great! I have had a child with me for almost 3 years straight in church (and for 3 months I had both of them) (For those of you wondering if the church has ever made a statement about how far apart your children should be... they haven't, but they give you a STRONG hint by not letting them go to nursery until they are 18 months...so... :) Now I have about 10 weeks to soak up every gospel doctrine lesson and RS lesson until I am back in the mothers lounge - I have big plans for my spiritual growth :) (I am pretty sure I just ensured that my next calling will be nursery or primary... right?? Crap)
• Brock is sleeping in a "big boy bed". He has been for almost 2 weeks now. He has been 100% perfect. Since the very first time he got put in his bed he has NEVER gotten out. I don't know why I am surprised, he is very obedient and easy - I just keep thinking one day he is going to HAVE to defy us and be normal 2 year old. Not yet I guess.
• Jason LOVES his job. And they LOVE him. His boss called me today just to tell me how much they love him and what a great job he was doing and thanking me for supporting him in his work. (I do know his boss, so it wasn't totally strange, but still...) (*For any of you NET people - Jason is working with Don)
• UM... I went to the doctors yesterday and I had to make my next appointment and they told me it was in TWO WEEKS. I about died, I argued with them, I told them that if I started coming every two weeks that meant I was going to have my baby soon, and I was sure I still had 6 months to a year before my baby was born. They politely told me that I was in my third trimester and I should probably start mentally preparing to have this baby. I lost the battle and scheduled my next appointment for 2 weeks.
• I am excited about the baby. It is just that I was not expecting to still be at my patents - we just took the bare basics here and put the rest in storage. There is NOTHING I can do to prepare for this baby. So I just have to pretend that the due date is far away and we will definitely be in a house before she comes.
• People see me with 2 young toddlers and a pregnant belly and they look at me like I am crazy or pathetic - I am not sure which one. I don't feel that way at all. I am nothing but excited and feel very blessed. I think my life is pretty wonderful.
• Someone asked me, for the first time, the other day if Brock and Noah were twins. I will probably start getting that more and more as they become closer to the same height. There is not a lot of physical difference between a 2 and 3 year old.

A missed Christmas Post

I just realized I never posted about my Grandma's Santa Party. Every year my Grandma has all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren over to her house for a Christmas party. It ends with Santa coming and giving all the kids one present. Brock was very excited to see Santa. As you can tell he was really wanting to get up and get a present. He stood there patiently, waiting for Santa to pull out a present for him.

Finally it was Brock's turn - however I could not get a smile

Noah was all smiles - I wish I could have gotten it without the hands.

(Their hair is really not that blond - it is just the lighting.)

Brock got the best present ever... a Super Grover Cape!! (his favorite character). He loved it the night he got it - and then had a hard time with it. He was disappointed because he thought that it didn't work because he couldn't fly. It actually broke my heart to see him disappointed - I wished it WOULD have made him fly. He didn't wear it for a few weeks -and then in mid-January he rediscovered it - and now LOVES it. He often wears it on our outings. I think it is wonderful, I never care - A little boy in a cape is just about the most adorable thing I have ever seen!

Gingerbread house... a little late

Apparently I am not the only one who couldn't fit making a ginger bread house into the month of December.

We got a cute little "ginger bread house kit" from a secret Santa left on our doorstep. I had planned on doing it... but never got around to it. So, on the morning before we packed up and moved out of our apartment, we made it... on a whim. It was about 7:30 in the morning and if any of you really know me, you will know that I cringed the whole time my boys were eating it. But how could you not let them, look at that joy!

Brock did most of the decorating - and Noah was eating it off just about as fast as Brock put it on. I had to do a little referee-ing, but all in all it was the boys' project.

They could not keep their hands off it!

Thanks mystery giver... we loved it!

Catching up on…. “Before we left Provo”

Before we left Provo my boys got really into building forts, or “forks” as Brock liked to call them. I am the one who started it. I loved forts as a child and find them very “boyish” and currently I am in love with anything “boy”. Everyday since Brock wants to build a “fork”. At first I just put a blanket over a corner where my couch and rocking chair met, and they thought it was great. Brock put pillows on the ground to make doors and Noah would knock to get let in.

Then one day I made the mistake of making a giant fort using our whole living room and every blanket and sheet we owned. I moved the couches to make tunnels and even got out the duck tape. Now we have to go all out everytime.

Lesson learned: keep things simple until they figure out it could be better.