Councils

 I don't know if I have mentioned before but the Holy Ghost lives in my phone.  My good friend, Mandy Ricks, taught me this principle and I have found it to be true.  One of the ways I know this is through my conference talks.  I have about 270 "favorite" conference talks on a play list that listen to on shuffle while in my car.  It is amazing how the Holy Ghost uses this playlist to teach me things I need to know and do.  Sometimes the talks play nicely on shuffle and I hear a variety of great talks.  And then, all of the sudden, I will get the same talk 4, 5, 6, even 10 or 12 times in a week or 2.  It is crazy.  It isn't on repeat, and it doesn't repeat, it still shuffles through talks, but every other, or every third talk will come back to the same talk, and then, once I learn the principle or make the change in my life it moves on and I won't hear that talk for another few months.  This has happened with Elder Ellis "Do We Trust Him? Hard is Good" and Elder Robbins, "The Righteous Judge", just to name a few.  But the one that has changed our lives and impacted the whole family is Elder Ballard's "Family Councils".  I am regretful to say that it actually took more than just this talk to get me to hear His message.  This talk starting coming on a lot.  The first 2 or 3 times it was fine.  But then it got annoying.  It is a fine talk, but pretty administrative, and not really a "feel good" talk, so after about the 3rd time I started skipping it (not recognizing that it was a message from the Lord).  Then my (same) good friend, Mandy came over and we started talking and she was telling me a story and mentioned their family councils.  "oh", I said, "tell me about your councils."  She started to tell me all about their family councils, executive councils, and one on one councils.  It was fascinating and seemed simply wonderful.  I thought "well that is nice, wouldn't it be nice to have councils" (I am so dumb sometimes).  Then I got in the car to pick up some kids and, again, Elder Ballard's council talk came on, I instinctively went to skip and... then... like a lightning bolt, I got the message.  THIS is what our family needed to do to make the changes we need.  

Obviously I went home and announced that we were going to start having councils and everyone jumped for joy and said, "oh, I am so excited, great idea!" including Jason.  ha  But good things I was determined.  I have tried to push through the complaints and grumblings.  But to be honest we have struggled the last month or so.  For MANY reason.  But I am committed to keeping it a priority even though schedules and emotional resilience wanes sometimes.  

Girls Trip

 I went on my first mother-daughter/girls trip with Megan in September.  Our trip wasn't what we had originally planned but it was what the Lord had planned.  Our good friend, Kinsey Preece, was getting married in Utah.  Because of our unique friendship with Kinsey and her family Jason and I felt like at least one of us (if not all) should go to her wedding.  The problem was it was mid-week, kids have school, sports, and then theirs the babies.  Plus kids weren't really invited to the ceremony.  But we ended up deciding we would drive out, spend 3 or so days, and drive home.  Then the week of the wedding the babies got really sick, and on top of that Dane was doing terribly with potty training.  So about 3 days before the wedding we decided I would fly out in the morning and fly back in the night.  I went to buy my ticket and discovered that it was 37 dollar round trip!!  The idea popped into my head that I should take Megan with me, since it was so cheap.  Jason agreed.  So off we went.

It was a whirlwind of a trip, but it was perfect.  It was just what me and Megan needed, it was obvious within the first 30 seconds of pulling out of our driveway that she needed this time with me (and I with her).  She left he flood gates down and started pouring out her heart to me.  I learned a lot about Megan on our trip, the biggest thing is what a smarty pants she is.  I knew she was school smart, but boy is she street smart.  I need her as my travel companion from now on.  She knew everything, where i parked the car, she remembered our flight number and gate number, she knew instinctively where to go in the airports.  She kept me on task, organized, and headed in the right direction.  It was fabulous. 

We got to Utah at midnight the night before the wedding.  My dad picked us up and we spent the night at my parents house.  Both Megan and I slept in and enjoyed a very quiet unrushed morning and went to breakfast with my mom.

Then we went to the wedding.  It was beautiful.  Since we were from out of town we didn't really know anyone else, so Megan and I just got to spend the whole time together at the ceremony, luncheon, and reception talking and just enjoy being together.

We had about 3 hours between the ceremony and the reception.  I gave Megan lots of choices of things we could do during that time.  She decided she wanted to do a "temple tour" and just walk the grounds of some Utah temples.  She originally had 4 temples, but once we started we realized how long it would take to get to each one we only did Timpanogos and Jordan River.  She is a woman after my own heart.  If I got to pick one thing to do that is what I would have picked as well.  It was wonderful!

Kinsey's mom is Rachel Bliss.  She is very dear to my heart and I am glad I got to support her at her daughter's wedding.  About an hour into the reception we headed to the airport and got home about midnight.  It was fast and furious but SO WORTH IT!

Thanks Kinsey for the invite and for an opportunity to spend 24 hours with just Megan.  

 

My growth

This has been a strange fall for me.  2021 has been a year of growth and knowledge for me.  I have shared in previous blog posts about some of my ways of studying, hearing Him, and constantly having the Holy Ghost.  At the end of summer Heavenly Father gave me opportunities that would grow and stretch me, you know, becasue if you are going to build muscles  you should be able to use them, they aren't just to look good, or put spiritually, I needed to be a doer,  not just a hearer of the word.  He started to send me people who needed my help, almost daily.  It became comical to me and Jason.  Then In the beginning of September I was finished with my study of April's General Conference.  I wondered what I should do for the month before general conference to prepare.  Should I study my most favorite ones? Review my notes daily? Drop my GC study and just study the scriptures?  Review a previous conference?  I took it to the Lord and He told me very clearly to share what I had learned through social media.  I DID NOT want to do that.  Very few people knew about my intense study of GC and I don't like making it public.  But I knew that was what He wanted me to do.  So I did it.  

From that moment on my spirituality started to decline, and fast. I wasn't sure why.  I did all the things I knew to do.  Life comes with ebs and flows and the worst things to do is panic.  I went back to my foundation - put down and anchor, spread the sails, got back to basics.  But yet the darkness kept creeping in.  I wondered if I had misinterpreted the prompting to start the FB page.  Had I got it wrong?  Nope.  Was I managing it wrong?  (I did it from 6 to 7 am before my family woke up) Nope.  THEN WHAT?  I got nothing.  

I am STARTING to come out of it.  Two months later.  I have identified several reasons for the darkness.  Some lie at the heart of sin.  I needed to repent.  I had become light minded about the promptings and people the Lord were sending to me, I even complained about them.  I learned that while the Facebook page was good for the world (I know I helped many people), it was not good for me.  I had more muscles to develop before I can lift something that heavy.  At the time I didn't have words for it, but, now, I can say with Elder Renlund that I had failed the spiritual stress test of doing and receiving work and praise outside the home.  It made me focus less on my family and more on myself, even if just in thought and not in deed.  In an ideal world I should be able to do both.  But i learned that I can't yet, and again, to quote Elder Renlund, "it doesn't mean I am hopeless, it means I need to change, and that is good to know."  It is good to know.  

I feel as though I have been through 2 months of chastening, and oh how grateful I am for it.  There were other lessons to learn.  One came along with CFM this week.  Now that temples are opened it is required of me to go.  I could receive the power from the temple while it was closed in my own home and in my own study BECAUSE it wasn't available to me.  But now that I can go that power can only be given to me IN the temple.  I have to go if I want to feel that way again.  Also, much help came in the war chapters in the BoM (and president Nelon's talk about Moroni a few conferences ago).  Never stop preparing, make strong my weak places, prepare mind to hear the word of the Lord, etc.  Great lessons were learned.  I know more times like this will come and that is good to know.

 

Noah's Birthday

Noah turned 13 this year.  It was his "off year" for a party so we just spent a night at home with the family.  Noah asked for all Legos for his birthday.  He took a few years off of Lego's and I love that it is back. 

Some wonderful things about Noah

• Noah is killing it in life.  He is thriving in almost every category.  I will list them below.
• He has had a lawn mowing business for the last 2 summers.  He does a great job, I have almost nothing to do with it, he remembers, he does it, it is great.  
• While he doesn't exactly "save" his money, he is pretty kind and responsible with it.  Last year he basically "ate it" (bought candy), but this summer he didn't buy hardly any candy.  The first thing he did was buy everyone in the family Christmas presents (yes... in July) and then bought himself Legos.  He often also buys gifts for friends.
• He loves to take long bike rides, especially to Target to buy his treasures.  He also enjoys riding to a river by our house and watching the water.  He says it makes him feel peaceful.
• He is really good at monitoring his mental health.  He knows when he isn't doing good.  He knows how to get him out of that place.  He knows his triggers, he knows what will help him.
• He discovered audio books.  It was wonderful, if he was listening to an audio book he could do ANYTHING.  Cleaning, hard labor, weeding, exercise.  Anything.  It was his (mine) secret weapon.  But now it is his curse.  He has become obsessed and it is hard for him to live life with out an audio book.  (you can see the headphones on the table, I FORCED him to take them off for the picture).  We are trying to figure out how to manage it.
• He is SO GOOD with the babies.  He is our most trusted.  He is so fun with them, throws a lot of energy at them, cares a lot, and they love him.  He is adorable. 
• He is doing great at school.  His parent teacher conference was amazing.  All his teachers sincerely love him and he is doing all his work.  He is managing it all by himself and doing great.  I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we just finished the first quarter and it never did.
• He is always the first one done with this jobs/chores.  And he always does them without me having to ask.
• He never complains about what I make for dinner.

 

Our new normal...

I am in a place of trying to figure out what kind of mom and what kind of life I am going to have with these 2 littles.  In my head for the last 4 years I thought I could recreate the childhood of the first 4 (or at least for the 7 hours a day the older kids are at school.  But I am just now realizing that is not going to happen.  I won't go into all the reasons why but it just isn't in the cards.  I can't run their life like a preschool or have it be all about them.  It makes the family out of balance.  This realization comes with a lot of grief in my heart, but since i have accepted it I feel a lot of peace and vision for the future.  This realization ALSO brings a lot of cleaning out at rearranging of our house.  Things I held on to 

to do it with these 2 need to be cleaned out.  We aren't going to do it.  And even if we did the 1 hour activity isn't worth ALL the storage space in our house.   But... that isn't the purpose of this post. 

The purpose is the three of us.  It has been so great having these 2 to myself for 6 hours a day.  And while it has taken an adjustment, it was a challenge I was up for.  Our days are slow, boring, lonely, and monotonous sometimes but also full of little moments of sweet joy. 

In my previous life I did an outing with the kids 4  or 5 times a week, sometimes 2 a day.  Now I can do 1 big one once a week.  Which I still think is awesome.  We get to the park at least once a week and library story time once a week (sometimes those are the same day).  I try to do a playdate once a week (also sometimes overlapped with the previous mentioned activities).  There is an errand day.  And usually a bum around the house day.  

Here are some pictures of some of our favorite outings

Chuck e Cheese.  It is not as good as it used to be (no more coins or tickets) but still ok.

Bike rides to the park.

Belleview park for a train ride and river play

Errand day: grocery store

Feeding Ducks

We play in the back yard A LOT.  Several times a day.  The front yard too.  It is like 2 different parks 

Swimming

 We especially love out hammock, and reading books in it.

We also watch some shows.  

 

Madison's birthday

After a lot of discussions, back and forths, and some indecisions, Maddie decided to not have a birthday party this year, despite it being her "party" year.  There were a few complex factors that led to this decision.  One big problem was that she knew exactly what she wanted to do for her party - but lacked the people to do it with.  She wanted to have a sports competition party - but she knew none of her friends would have fun.  I encouraged her to do it anyway or invite only people who would have fun or to do a different party.  She decided to celebrate at home... with her best friends... US!!!  

She chose Oreo Balls for her cake and got some great presents, including a new swim suit from grandma, a digital camera from us, and a cereal cup from aunt Ashley. 

 Some things about Madison right now.

• She goes by Maddie at school.
• She has found happiness at school by deciding to ditch the girl drama and play football with the boys at recess.  These boys have become her good friends and she discovered for herself that she is happier when she is hanging out with them than with the girls.  I am so proud of her for recognizing that.  This feeds into a few other problems (like being embarrassed to invite 5 boys to her birthday party).  
• She is "friends" with a lot of people.  Despite the fact that she prefers to hang out with the boys, she has a lot of girls friends and is in a lot of different "groups".  She is currently playing soccer with about 6 girls from her grade and loves it.  And at PTC her teacher told me she can't get her to stop talking to everyone.  So I think she is going just fine!
• If you can't find Madison she is likely outside riding a scooter, bike, or roller blading.  She loves to be outside and being active.
• She has a talent for bringing people together.  She is the best one in our family at getting everyone to do something together.  If everyone is playing a board or card game, or outside playing wallball, it is because Madison organized that.  
• Another place you can find her is reading.  She had a goal to out-read Megan in Battle of  the Books and she did it!  Way to go Mads!
• The babies love Madison and she loves the babies.  I am glad she is the one closest to them in age, they have a special bond.
• Maddie and Jason have created a special bond over the last year.  I am not sure how or why it happened, but I dare say they are the closest in the family.  
• And just so you think she isn't perfect (which she practically is) - if it is past 5:30 you can find her sitting at the dinner table with the babies HOURS after dinner refusing to eat the meal.  She is by far my pickiest eater and has expanded her dinner pallet from exclusively mac and cheese to grilled pork tenderloin and sesame chicken.    So there is some hope.

First Day of School

Brock is in high school!  In some ways this should have its own post, but also it felt pretty anti-climcatic.  Maybe because 9th grade doesn't feel like high school to me, so it is kind of "fake high school".  But for better or worse, he is, in fact, in high school.  He is loving it, and killing it.  Truly killing it.  He has early morning seminary.  I have not been able to get this kid out of bed for school for years and now, he is up at 5:15 every morning by himself.  He is ready and does all his stuff.  Even mornings when he doesn't have seminary (Thursdays), he doesn't sleep in because he doesn't want to get "out of habit", he wakes up at 5:00 and gets his morning stuff done.  Jason drives him to seminary (even when he isn't teaching) and then Brock scooters home after football.  He is doing great at school.  He is advocating for himself, using his school time wisely, staying up on top of his homework, and wants to take harder classes next year.  If you ask him what his favorite class is right now he says, "all of them".  He loves all of his teachers and honestly says he doesn't have a class he doesn't like.  He is working hard at football.  He doesn't play much.  He started the year being 3 or 4 string (hard to tell - because he never played).  He is now solid second string and plays at least 1 quarter a game, and today (October 14th) he may start!  He did this by going to practice early, staying later, always hustling and working hard, talking to the coach about how he can improve, memorizing all the plays, and being actively engaged on the sideline with the game and the coach.  He also had to make 100 dollars in one weekend and he worked like mad.  He found a lot of people who needed yard work done and he worked for like 12  hours straight between Friday and Saturday - with football practice in-between.  And then there is his social life.  Kids these days don't really know how to be social.  At least the ones I know.  I can't relate.  All I cared about in 9th grade was what we were doing after school or what our plans were for the weekend.  But some of us moms have been coaching in the background and have gotten these kids out of the house and with each other, face to face, for several events.  This is where Brock's appearances on the blog might be sad, he is doing all these fun things - but I am not there to take pictures.  I asked him to take pictures and send them to me... but he doesn't.  But the seminary kids in our stake have a group chat and they have met up to go to football games, out to dinner, stake dances, school dances, a school play, and Frisbee golf.  There may be hope for the upcoming generation after all! He also got a smart phone.  That may have to be antoehr post.  But he is handling that really well to.  But above and beyond all of it the BEST part about high school is that Brock is no longer JUST wearing basketball shorts/pants.  He is willingly and on his own accord wearing pants with zippers and buttons.  I doubted that this day would ever come.  I have hope for my other children. 

Noah is in eighth grade.  He is killing it.  Truly.  He is in the Arctic pod with David Weister.  All of his teachers love him and say he is a "joy" in class.  And he is 100% on top of his school work and grades.  He is using his time wisely in class and does homework on his own at home.  He is also getting himself up and ready in the morning (although he has been doing that for years).  He is also in the school fall play and has had practice every day after school.  He is currently one of my most reliable, responsible, and capable children.   

Megan is loving her last year of elementary school in 6th grade!  She has the best teacher, Mrs. Anzalavar.  She was very excited for 6th grade and to be the oldest in the school.  Megan is growing up a ton and is really coming into her own. 

Madison is in the 5th grade.  She got the teacher she wanted.... Mrs. Walker (Same teacher that Megan had).  Mrs. Walker loves Madison (who doesn't).  I guess this is an appropriate place to mention that while I call her Madison, even in this post, she goes by Maddie at school, like religiously.  When I call her Madison, people truly don't know who I am talking about, and they say, "you mean Maddie Herbert?"  I don't love it.  I am not sure why, I call her Maddie too, and when I named her I intended for her to go by Maddie, but I think of her as Madison.  Any ways Madison is having a great year... a continuation of her great year last year.  She really figured herself out half way through 4th grade and she is happy and confident in who she is.  But I will talk more about that in her birthday post.  

It feels like I don't have as much to write about the girls, and the truth is I don't because the girls have always been easy and great.  They are such a joy to mother, they are smart, talented, capable, willing, and fun.  So far they have been willing to ride their bikes to school every morning - even when it has been cold or rainy.  They are the best!

Zoe and Anna were driving by when we were taking pictures so they got out to take some.

Truth: I had to FORCE them to take this picture.  They think they are too old and too cool.

We take David to school every morning and then they scooter home.

 

Outdoor Ed

We were all so happy for Megan that she got to go to outdoor ed.  The kids last year obviously didn't get to go.  The week before covid starting surging and 3 days before they reinstituted masks, I told Megan to be prepared for a last minute cancel (like day of) or even to come home early.  You never know with Covid.  But she went and had a great time.

She was feeling a little nervous.  For a few reasons: 1- she is my child with the most anxiety about things like this.  She has good coping mechanisms but it is still there.  2 - she has had a few friend troubles over the last few years, culminating in not really having a friend group this year.  It had already caused her some hurt feelings and she was worried about having to feel lonely all week.  and 3 - they told her she could only bring 2 books.  TWO books for FOUR WHOLE DAYS!!  What was she going to do!  She picked 2 of our biggest books, even though she had already read them.

These are some pictures that her teacher took and sent to me.  She had a great time.  She wasn't lonely and hung out with some old friends and new friends. 

She sure is a cutie!