I am in a place of trying to figure out what kind of mom and what kind of life I am going to have with these 2 littles. In my head for the last 4 years I thought I could recreate the childhood of the first 4 (or at least for the 7 hours a day the older kids are at school. But I am just now realizing that is not going to happen. I won't go into all the reasons why but it just isn't in the cards. I can't run their life like a preschool or have it be all about them. It makes the family out of balance. This realization comes with a lot of grief in my heart, but since i have accepted it I feel a lot of peace and vision for the future. This realization ALSO brings a lot of cleaning out at rearranging of our house. Things I held on to
to do it with these 2 need to be cleaned out. We aren't going to do it. And even if we did the 1 hour activity isn't worth ALL the storage space in our house. But... that isn't the purpose of this post.
The purpose is the three of us. It has been so great having these 2 to myself for 6 hours a day. And while it has taken an adjustment, it was a challenge I was up for. Our days are slow, boring, lonely, and monotonous sometimes but also full of little moments of sweet joy.
In my previous life I did an outing with the kids 4 or 5 times a week, sometimes 2 a day. Now I can do 1 big one once a week. Which I still think is awesome. We get to the park at least once a week and library story time once a week (sometimes those are the same day). I try to do a playdate once a week (also sometimes overlapped with the previous mentioned activities). There is an errand day. And usually a bum around the house day.
Here are some pictures of some of our favorite outings
Chuck e Cheese. It is not as good as it used to be (no more coins or tickets) but still ok.
We also watch some shows.
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