Provo

I am leaving Provo in two days. About 2 years ago I wrote this post in my head and it was full of snooty comments, untamed excitement, and a lot of exclamation points containing promises of "never to return". But I have found myself overly emotional this past week, quite sad I am leaving, and actually more in denial than I even thought possible.

On Wednesday morning I will wake up with the boys, have a normal morning in my completely functional/NOTHING packed apartment. I will take the diaper bag and the boys and leave my apartment and drive up to my parents house in Salt Lake - just like I have done millions of times. Only this time I will never come back. Jason will come home from work Wednesday night and spend the rest of the weekend packing, moving, and cleaning. (Full disclosure: I actually just teared up thinking about it.) To think that I will close the door on my fully furnished normal apartment is... sad. I do get terribly sentimental about stuff like this. To know that this is the apartment where we brought our first two children home from the hospital to; all of the time spent here learning how to be a mom, and a wife for that matter -and now that part is over. Provo is where we were engaged, our first home, our first... everything - we have been here for 5 years - longer than we thought. But I think that has made it better.

To be honest most of what I am most sentimental about is the last year or so. The first 3 and a half years were expected and welcomed. We had a lot of friends, support, and a plan. We knew we would be here for a while and we made the best of it. If we were to have moved when all of our friends did and when we had expected I don't think it would have been as hard. But the last year and a half has been hard. I have been completely alone with my 2 very young boys. And despite my efforts to complain and be negative - I was forced to make the best of it - for my boys sake. Almost everyday this past summer was spent just the 3 of us wondering around Provo/BYU campus. We played in the parking lot, went to the duckpond, the library, the park, the pool, the temple, Provo Canyon, watched tennis matches, etc. It was just the three of us, and while at the time I was aching for another mom to be with us so I had someone to talk to - looking back I realize that those moments are some of my most precious mothering memories. I think sometimes with all of the distractions of playgroups and other moms (while definitely needed) - the sweet tender moments of your young children gets hurried by.

"They" say these years will pass quickly (being a young mother with young children), and I attest that they do, but I am glad to say that I have soaked up every single moment. This is a new chapter in our life - and although I have been DYING to start it for what seems like forever, now that it is here - a part of me wants to hold onto our simple little apartment and would be quite happy to spend another summer with my 2 favorite people at the duck pond and Exchange Park.

Then I think about that blasted Fourth of July crap and know I would scream if I had to spend one more summer here. Yes I am a little bi-polar right now... and pregnant :)

Traditional Roles

Jason does so much for me and the family. He really helps keep things running around here. I often like to call him my "stage crew" or "the behind the scenes manager". Pretty self explanatory - he just does a lot of the little jobs that help keep the house/family running smooth. ex: Refills (laundry detergent, flour, diapers, wipes, sippy cups, diaper bag, my water bottle - all these things have "bulk" packages and then containers for everyday use), if he notices the laundry needs to be changed or folded he does it without me saying a word, he cleans up dinner every night, whenever we are going somewhere he makes sure everything is packed in the diaper bag and loads everything into the car and when we get home he unpacks everything and puts it away, he makes the bed on Saturday and Sunday mornings, and cleans up the living room every night after we put the kids down to bed. And now that we are moving he says that he wants me and the boys to go to my parents house for a few days while he packs up the WHOLE apartment and cleans it - I don't have to do anything! However the reason for this post is not to brag about what an awesome husband I have, although I definitely could!! It is to talk about why this extra help makes me very uncomfortable.

I mostly contribute Jason's helpfulness to the example his father gave. Randy (Jason's dad) and Debbie (Jason's mom) do a lot of things out of "team work", I have never really noticed much of "women's work" or "a man's work" around their house or from stories of them growing up. Debbie tells stories of how everytime a baby woke up in the night Randy would get the baby, change the diaper (or pj's and sheets if needed) and then bring the baby to Debbie to feed and then he would put the baby back to bed. Almost all of the dinners they make they both make together and when building a new house or landscaping a yard - Debbie is right along side Randy putting up dry-wall or hauling dirt around the backyard, and on the other side I usually see Randy being the one to vacuum or do the dishes after dinner. Everything is pretty much done together. While my parents are still a "team" things were done very traditionally in my family. My mom did everything around the house: the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, decorating, taking care of the kids. While my dad was in charge of the "man stuff": work (making money), all car repair and needs, yard work, fixing up the house, "honey-do" list, etc. They both played their roles almost flawlessly, in my opinion, and without any conflict, they just seemed to know what was expected of them. Oh, sure -they would ALWAYS help one another if it was asked of them, I have seen my mom mow lawns and my dad can cook us dinner, and often did Sunday morning breakfast - and they were both very involved with our lives - but even that was divided - my dad did all the outdoors stuff with us - coached our sport teams, taught us to ride bikes, took us hiking and camping, and also helped us with our homework and big school projects, while my mom did all the carpooling, fun things with our friends, and was more in charge of our day-to-day upbringing.

So, my point is, after this introspective look into our upbringing I have figured out why, when tonight I was doing a load of laundry and saw that my container had been refilled (after I had been putting it off the last 3 loads), my first reaction was to fill so guilty that he felt like he HAD to do that for me. To be honest, that whole first paragraph of the post, was really hard for me to write and admit that he actually does all that stuff for me- because it makes me feel like I am not an adequate housewife - if my mom didn't need help with all that stuff - neither do I...right?? I recognize how silly that is and how blessed I am that Jason does all that stuff around that house - why would I ever complain??? I know he doesn't do it because HE thinks I am inadequate and that I OBVIOUSLY need the help, he does it because he sees that it needs to be done, and so he does it - it doesn't occur to him, that it is "my job" - and even if it does - he is just doing it to be nice.

Despite all his help, our goal is the same - and we do like to stay within our "traditional" roles - because that is what makes each of us happy and fulfilled. But sometimes when I think I have my whole day together - I have been the "perfect mother" and "perfect wife" and doing all my "duties" flawlessly and then Jason comes home from work and does something really "mean" like change Noah's diaper or or clean out a pan that I had left to soak - I naturally think to myself "did he do that because he thinks that I wasn't going to or that my life is so crazy and unorganized that I really needed the help." I know that is an INSANE way to think and I know that is NOT what he is thinking - but still that is my initial reaction. And the truth is, I do need that help, and even if I don't NEED it, I definitely WANT it. So why the embarrassment? Why the guilt? When I know that he was happy to do it and I am happy to receive it?

Despite knowing this - still I cringe - I cringe every time Jason goes to work with a shirt that is not ironed (FYI: they are wrinkle free shirts - but still...), I cringe when I go into get the laundry and it is already folded and put away, and I cringe every time he is the one who puts my keys on the key ring and my shoes in the shoe basket. But immediately following that cringe - is the overwhelming sense of gratitude - and how happy I am that we have found a balance that works for US - despite our different upbringings.

Funny story: Jason and I started dating when we were 16 - most people thought we were silly for falling in love so young. Anyways... about a year after we were married I was throwing a wedding shower for a friend at my mom's house. Coincidentally, my mom was also throwing a shower for a girl in her ward that same night- but using a friends house. It was about an hour before both of our showers started and we were both running around, a little stressed, trying to get everything done. Jason was doing a bunch of things to help me out - each time he was done with one of his "jobs" - he would come back and say, "what can I do now". At the end of the night I over hear my mom say to my older sister, "We all thought Jamie was crazy for dating Jason so young and no one else, but she did it right, she got him young and trained him to be exactly what she wanted... he was running around helping her while my husband was watching tv." (To be fair, my mom never asked for help) I did feel a sense of pride hearing her say that... but to be honest I think his parents had more to do with it than me... I just keep expecting it and he keeps doing it.

What does this look like to you?

If you answered, "Like a family out celebrating something" - you are absolutely right! (Look...we even got an appetizer - we have NEVER gotten an appetizer).

That is right - Jason got and accepted a job offer in South Jordan. When it came down to it he actually had 2 companies bidding for him. This new development also came with a decision to move to Salt Lake and buy a house - asap! So I have spent the last 2 weeks with a realtor trying to find our 'dream home' - at a good price of coarse. The current plan is to work and be in the house for about 2 years and then Jason will go get his Masters (hopefully out of state). We are thrilled and nervous about all of these recent new decisions. Life seemed a lot easier when we had no decisions - as we fret over all these changes we have to remind ourselves that we prayed for this. I am so proud of Jason - he has worked so hard and we are grateful for this wonderful opportunity we have been given.

RANDOMNESS:
I have some random things I have wanted to blog about for the last few weeks, but never got around to it - so here you go.

• Provo is practically pleasant during the Christmas break.
• Noah talks a bunch - it is funny because you will miss it unless you REALLY take the time to listen to him - it all just sounds like babble. But he is talking in FULL sentences - you just have to stop and listen. (EX: "I want to go to Chuck-E Cheese", "I need more milk." "Time to go outside", and "Put on my shoes") Of coarse each word is really just a vowel sound and a consonant here or there - but if you listen you will hear it.
• From my previous "Mothering Style" post I have done some soul searching and discovered that I have stifled Brock's independence in an effort to keep my day smooth, productive, and organized. I have repented and am trying desperately to calm down a little and be the type of mom I REALLY want to be. My degree is in Early Childhood Education for crying out loud - I know better! I just lost my footing for a while. But with number 3 on the way I am really going to need Brock to put on his own shoes, get in and out of his car seat, and wash his own hands.
• Special K with Red Berries has become a new staple in my day. It has always been one of my favorites - and indulgence only enjoyed at my mom's house because it is so dang expensive. But Macey's had it on sale for $1.50 and I bought 5. I have gone through a box almost every other day. I am on my last box and I am in mourning.
• Ever since Noah stopped taking his morning nap (about a month ago) I have had a lot of trouble getting my mornings together. I was having a hard time just "plowing through", all the getting ready, cleaning, eating, etc with 2 toddlers and no break. By 10:30 I was flustered and frustrated - and so were the boys. But this week I think we have figured it out. I have to shower before Noah wakes up and I have to use their breakfast time more efficiently.
• When your baby goes from two naps a day to one nap a day - it is a sad time. And although it is sad - it has been welcomed around here. It is nice being able to just get up and go and not have to worry about being home until lunch time. Our outings are a lot more fun and productive.
• I realized that I just have 8 more weeks of church until Noah is in nursery. I haven't not had a baby with me in church for 3 years. I got really excited. Then I realized that I would only be alone for about 7 weeks (and one of those is General Conference) before our little girl came. Oh well... there will be a season in my life for perfect church attendance, thoughtfully partaking of the sacrament, and attentively listening and participating in gospel lessons, but this is not it.
• The next season of The Biggest Loser just started and I am having a hard time getting into it - which is making me sad. I really love the show - but for some reason none of the contestants are really standing out to me. It is all kind of just - Blah.
• I am really wondering if anyone is still reading this these are my thoughts and I am pretty bored.
• I am still kind of in shock that we are having a girl - but am getting really excited - I have embraced the idea. But a whole separate post on that is coming.

New Years Day

Since Jason was home from work on New Years day - we decided to take a trip to Chuck-E Cheese. It was a really fun trip, the boys loved having Jason there.

Mothering style

If you care much about my parenting choices go ahead and read - if not skip to the last paragraph for the real purpose of the post.

I have been wanting to do a post for about a year now on my mothering style. I wanted to document how I have chosen to mother and how some of those choices are different than what I thought they would be. Sometimes as moms (parents) we make very purposeful, logical, intentional decisions about how we want to raise our children - and are willing to accept the consequences either way.

One example for me is the way I feed my children. I breast feed exclusively for (about) a year (give or take a week or so). Neither of my children ever had formula. At 6 months I make all my own baby food and don't give my children anything artificial for a long time. I am really crazy when it comes to candy, desserts, and "empty" calories - I feel that if I am feeding it to my child, it should count for something. As they get to be 2 or so I am forced to "let go" - but I cringe on the inside everytime Brock has an ice cream cone or eats some chocolate. To be honest - I am not totally sure why I have chosen this eating habit, it does not depict my eating style AT ALL - I am not health conscious or anything like that, it just seemed natural and logical. I am not sure what this is going to do to my children, so far it has worked wonderfully. Both my boys eat great and LOVE all vegetables and have very "grown-up" palates. They prefer wheat bread over white and while, of coarse, they like candy and treats, they are not overly crazy for it and for the most part can take it or leave it. However, I am totally aware I could get another child where this could TOTALLY backfire and they will be sugar crazy and hate all things healthy. But I am willing to accept that consequence if it turns out that way and will not regret my choices in feeding my children.

Another choice is letting my children act like children and trusting them to make good decisions, even at young ages. When I go to the store I rarely put my boys in a shopping cart. I let them walk with me. I don't mind if they wander a little or run in front of me (granted this is only if the store is not too busy). I don't get embarrassed when Brock runs down the isle and then slides when he gets to the bottom - and I usually let them go to they toy isle and play with the balls for about 10 minutes. I figure that if they have to run errands with me during their "outings" time, they should probably be able to get their energy out. I trust and expect that they will be obedient and make good decisions, and for the most part they do, and if they don't there are clear and immediate consequences, I am not a push over or let me kids do "what ever they want", but as long as they are not
-hurting anyone or
-damaging property
I try to let it go.

But sometimes as moms (parents), we have NO CLUE what we are doing and are just flying by the seat of our pants. One example was potty training. While I was potty training Brock, several people asked, "What is your philosophy?" or "how are you doing it?" My response was always, "I have no idea what I am doing, and there is a good chance I am screwing him up for life." I still feel that way. He is totally potty trained and has been for almost 8 months, but I still have no idea what I am doing.

One example I thought I had under control, and now I am not so sure is discipline. With Brock my philosophy is 100% consistency, NO MATTER WHAT. I believed that if I was always consistent about the rules and the consequences and I as immediate and precise with them, then the good behavior would follow. Almost any parenting technique will tell you the best behaved kids are those who can predict the consequences to their actions, whether good or bad. And it totally worked with Brock - I thought I was the best mom. And Noah... not so much. He appears to really thrive on negative attention. EVERYTHING is a fun game for him. Luckily he is pretty well behaved and not too mischievous, but I will tell you, he could care less about consistency. The best way to get Noah to stop doing something he is not supposed to do (playing with the toilet, turning off the TV, taking ornaments off the Christmas tree) is to ignore him. That is totally opposite from my parenting philosophy and I am struggling with what the right decision is on how to discipline him. I am learning every kid is different and my parent style needs to adjust.

But for the real reason for the post. My friend just did a post on her blog about a parent style test she took. I took it. I am not totally satisfied with the results. Unfortunately I find that I have a hard time being honest when I take quizzes like this, I always give the answer I WANT to be. For example it will say, "I enjoy spending time with my children." Then I respond with true or false. I will of coarse say true, because I want it to be true - I could never put false, even if it was false. (it is not false by the way). So my type of Mothering Style is The "Happy Together" Mother. Boo - doesn't that seem a little to perfect to be true - I mean, come on... who REALLY is that... all of the time? To be honest, reading it, it does sound a lot like the mom I WANT to be, and every day I TRY to be - but I am not comfortable saying that is the mom I am. It was interesting though and if you are better at being a little more honest with your self and knowing the difference between what you ARE and what you WANT TO BE - then you should take it - because I still don't know the difference.

Christmas Morning

I would definitely classify this as our first "real" Christmas. Brock has been in love with Christmas and Santa and Rodolph and Frosty and Baby Jesus and The Angel all month. He knows all the Christmas songs and sings along with them in the car (my car radio ONLY gets FM 100 - so we have been forced to listen to Christmas music since November), he has decided that "Away in a Manger" is his favorite.

I personally felt like it was a successful Christmas. I was a little nervous because we decided to go "light" on gifts. Growing up my mom always cried on Christmas because she felt like we didn't get what we wanted or is wasn't perfect enough - and last year I followed in her footsteps. But this year I spent almost no money on Christmas - but I ended up feeling like it couldn't have been more wonderful. My boys were overjoyed and every gift had a purpose and a place to go afterwards. Then I made a wonderful brunch that was very fancy and delicious I might add. By the time my boys went down for their naps I really felt like our Christmas day had been perfect and that I had some how "pulled it off". (With a lot of help from Santa, of coarse)

Yes - between me and my mom, the boys got musical instruments. Everyone thought I was crazy - but I love them. I treat my days like a preschool. We have art time, music time, story time, free play, pretend play, etc. It is mostly just to help me stay organized and not go crazy with 2 boys in a 10 by 10 square foot area most of the day. So the instruments are in a box in the closet and only come out for specific times, and then get put away, this is the way most for our toys are. I think kids play more purposefully when toys and activities are presented this way anyways.

Noah got this dog, and honestly I hate it. I hate it because he is SO CUTE with it. So, Noah thinks it is a real dog - and he LOVES him. He gets down on his belly so he is looking the dog straight in the face and he just talks to him. He is currently trying desperately to teach it to catch a ball. He holds the ball in front of the dog's face and says, "catch ball" and then throws it. He continually points at the thrown ball and yells, "catch ball, catch ball" after about 30 seconds of this Noah runs to get the ball, puts it in his mouth and crawls back to the dog - obviously trying to SHOW the dog how he is supposed to do it. He tries to hug the dog and get it to lick him. And rather than watching in awe of how cute it is, it breaks my heart because I just want that stupid dog to go catch the ball, or just react in some way to my child who is trying so hard to get the dog to love him.

The aforementioned firetruck (from the Christmas eve post)

Most of the toys we got this Christmas was for both of the boys, trying to get them to play together - and it is totally working. They play together so well, and without much direction from me. My heart melts every time my children do something "brotherly" to each other. I love to see them play together!

Christmas night at my mom's house.

Christmas Eve

This year we spent Christmas with my family. We went to my grandparents house for Christmas eve with my mom's side of the family. We have a big family dinner, we dance around the Christmas tree, open some presents, and eat yummy desserts. This party is probably my favorite party and every year that I miss it I am very sad.

Brock and Noah - I can not believe I had two children dancing around the tree. I can remember dancing around MY great-grandma's Christmas tree on Christmas eve. It is strange how time flies.

Ashley and Brock

When it is time to open presents it is complete and total chaos - but it is wonderful. Everybody gets two presents - one from Grandma and Grandpa and one from an aunt or uncle (we draw names). But we always have to take turns and go around one at a time, so we can see each other open them. There are 23 grandkids and 4 great grandkids - When you are little that is pure torture!

Brock trying NOT to peek

Brock got a fire truck from his Great. It is a very classic looking one - it is very beautiful - it reminds me of what should go under every Christmas tree. My boys are in love with it (all three). Give a boy a fire truck and they are entertained for hours.

Jason could not get it out the box fast enough!

My mom got all of her grandkids Christmas PJ's - so of coarse we needed a cute picture. At 9:00 Christmas eve night - just after opening presents and a bunch of candy and sweets - yea right! We took about a billion and bribed and threatened for about 10 minutes - then just had to give up - these were the 2 best.

Temple Square

We went to temple square to see the lights on Christmas eve, eve. It was snowing, but not too cold. We got the most perfect parking place - right in front of the temple gates! This picture below describes the boys feeling... magical.

Some family photos

The red tree was the favorite - we know this because after about 10 seconds of being there Brock said, "This is my favorite tree." He has really been into deciding what things that are his favorite lately. Noah was just mesmerized. He is talking a bunch - mostly just one or two words for a thought. One of his favorite words is "light" - so this was a great outing for him. He also likes to say "tree". Which is what he is saying in not the next picture, but the next one.


On the way home of coarse the boys fell asleep - Brock's coat was so puffy it just held his head straight up. It was so funny we had to take a picture.

New thoughts on Christmas decorations

Our first Christmas was just about a month after we were married, we hadn't budgeted any money for "Christmas tree decorations", so we strung popcorn and hung a few ornaments we had gotten from our wedding and called it good. I had dreams of one day having a Christmas tree with lights and matching ornaments. I always wanted a very pretty "Martha Stewart" - like tree, where all the ornaments matched and went perfectly with my other Christmas decor.

Through the years I had found a few ways to sneak some new ornaments or decorations into our December budget, knowing that one day I would have the budget to re-due the whole thing, but for now, Walmart ornaments would have to do.

This Christmas I found myself having all new desires. Shortly after decorating our tree - instead of looking at it, wishing for quality ornaments, I wished for ornaments that meant something. I all of the sudden understood those families that got the Hallmark ornaments commemorating events through the year - I had never wanted a tree like that - but now I realized I wanted our tree to say something about my children.

Well, instead of the Hallmark ornaments, I decided the thriftier thing to do would be to have Brock and Noah make ornaments. I questioned myself the whole time I was at Roberts - I kept thinking, "will I really want to put these on my tree?" But when all was said and done, I loved the wonderfully tacky ornaments made by my little boys. One day when all my kids are grown and I can have the tree I always wanted, I think that I will have realized I have had it since the beginning.


Some of the ornaments.

Bells and pipe-cleaner - super easy

These were pre-made, wood ornaments for .50 cents each - then just a little marker...

I of coarse had to get in on the action... (I did not make the Santa)

Friends Christmas Party

A few weeks ago a few of my old friends (many from elementary) decided to throw a much overdue Christmas party. I haven't been in a room with all these girls since probably Jr High or sophomore year. Many of them I was best friends with in elementary and then we lost touch and went in different directions - but what is funny is that I have never stopped thinking about them as my best friends. I love them with all my heart and I feel like I truly know them and they know me. It was strange all being together, now that many of us are married, have "real" jobs, are mothers, getting masters, or owning homes. It is strange how time flies and everything changes - but there were times when I could have sworn I was back in 6th grade at Trina's house sitting on the love rock or sneaking out of Chelsea's house. I would not change one single thing about my childhood - it has made me the person I am today. I had no intention of getting this sappy - but just looking at this picture below... it just happened.

Top left: Me, Tayci (Brooke's little girl), Brooke Grant, Megan Olsen, Katrina Hammond, Sarah Bagley, Andrea Hooton, Abbie Oggard, Chelsea Hogan, Becca Corey, Milo (Becca's little boy)

Second row left: Ali Hansen, Sabrina Jensen, Megan Wray, Beth Bazzoli, Megan Hair, Nicole Hair, Priscila Sauer, Emily Hudachko, Erin Applebaum, Caroline Jones.

Abbie, Tayci, Megan, Sarah, Priscila, Ali, Sabrina

Milo

Megan, Katrina, Me, Ali

These were my most consistent best friends since elementary. No matter how different things got - we always were right there for each other.

Beth, Becca, and Erin

I am the one that made sure this picture got taken. This is Chelsea and Becca. If any of you are reading this and know us from elementary... I don't even have to say anything. Seeing these two together brings back a flood of HILARIOUS moments.

This is me with Megan and Nicole Hair. They are triplets (Alyse had already left). The wonderful thing about the Hair triplets for me is that I have been best friends with each of them at different times. I have a complete, separate, and whole friendship with each of them, which is hard to do with triplets.

Chelsea, me, Katrina, Sydney (Katrina's baby), Niki, and Megan

Priscila, Megan, Megan, Sarah, Ali

Chelsea and me

The party was way fun - but the best part was that about 6 of us stayed and talked until about 12:30 in the morning. We were all packed and ready to leave at about 9 or so, but we just kept talking. It was so fun!

Look who made an appearance at our house...

We found this little thing crawling on our couch last week. Maybe it was supposed to be significant since the next day we found out we were having a girl? It was weird to see a lady bug in the middle of winter.

The time has come the walrus said...

For those of you who don't get it - this is Noah - wearing a shirt that says he is a big brother. If you need another hint (both our families did) - I am pregnant. We put this shirt on Noah and let him wander both of our parents home. It took about 20 minutes for anyone to catch on - and even then we had to point it out. I guess our clue was a little too subtle.

But yes... I am expecting, and couldn't be more excited! For another shocker, I have been expecting for some time, but have just kept it our little secret. We wanted all of our "ducks in a row" (look at that - TWO animal analogies in ONE post - you are all very lucky) before we started to spread the news. And while our ducks aren't exactly in a row yet, they are all least gathered and being told to get in a row (are you still following??). Jason currently has a temporary job that will more than likely end up being permanent - and if not he is getting an official offer this week for another job.

I am 20 weeks and due May 29. For those of you doing the math, you are right... I should know what we are having. And I do. It is a GIRL!! Wow. We were shocked, to say the least. But I will probably write another post (maybe several) as we come to learn what it will mean having a girl in our family. I am excited to be not SO out numbered - but have gotten used to throwing on a tee shirt and jeans on my boys - do I really have to mess with doing hair, putting on bows, and accessorising?? We will see.

Birthdays

Today is my birthday. The events of the day has brought me to think about birthdays in general and how they evolve as we get older. For as long as I can remember, until I was about 20, I always had a new outfit to wear on my birthday, my mom always made a special breakfast, and in Jr High and High School I would go out to breakfast with my friends before school. In Elementary my mom would bring cupcakes or some other treat for the class, and in my teen years my mom would either bring me a yummy lunch to school or me and my friends would go out somewhere. Throughout my life I have had several surprise parties, some planned by friends and some by my family, and some wonderful surprises from Jason. When I worked, my office was decorated and me and my co-workers would go to lunch (except for one year!!! Char and Ashley - you remember!) It is interesting the lengths we go to to make our birthday special. Does it work?

I share this in preparation for my story of this... my 25th birthday. Brock woke up around 7:30 - I went in to get him and found him COVERED in throw-up. Noah was still asleep so I grabbed him and we went to the bathroom. It was that horrible, awful throw-up. Needless to say I threw up twice cleaning him up. After his bath, Noah woke up - I go in to find throw-up all over Noah. Great - same story... more throw up (by me)... more baths. I went in to inspect their beds - throw up all over. On the walls, the cribs, the carpet, the beds, everywhere. I decided to keep Noah in the bath so I could clean up their room in peace. When I went back into the bathroom to get Noah out he had pooed in the bath. Poo everywhere! AND IT WAS ONLY 9:00 am!!

Good thing Jason and the boys had made a cute card for me that I received before the boys woke up - and Jason and I are going out tonight. But here I am at 1:30 - having not showered - on my 3rd load of throw-up laundry, and just finally got my house cleaned up. But I can't shower because I am out of hot water because I used it all disinfecting everything. And what did the boys do while I was cleaning everything - basically watching tv and trying to get my attention. I felt like a terrible mom!

But my reason for the post... what difference does it make? I know I always like to be pampered on my birthday (who doesn't), but... spending the first half of my life being pampered, I can say that I am more full filled and more happy on this birthday than in years past. If I had to choose between cleaning up poo and throw-up on my birthday and having a different life without my boys I would obviously choose the throw-up. But if I could keep the boys... have no throw up... and have someone take me to lunch... well I would choose that one first. :)

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas...

I was going to put it up after the boys went to bed - but Jason wanted to do it as a family. I was unsure about how involved the boys would be and I just thought it would end up being more frustration then it was worth - but it was way fun. I am glad Jason convinced me. The boys did a great job and are so far really proud of the tree and don't want to take ornaments off. After we all sat in the dark and looked at the tree with the lights on. The boys were amazed - Christmas really is magical again once you have kids.

Although I have to admit we were unprepared to get our tree this year. We went to leave and were like, "We don't have a rope to tie it to our car." We have borrowed the Currens for the last 5 years - why did they move! So we had to buy one. Then once we got home we were like, "where's the saw... we don't have one." We had borrowed that from the Kapfers the last 5 years. We had to grow up this Christmas and provide for ourselves... sadness... it is just nice to have reliable neighbors.

A quick get away

Karli had all three kids for the whole thanksgiving break - all alone - while her husband was in California for a soccer tournament - so we decided to head to St. George so at least the kids could play in the warm weather. It was a much needed getaway - both for the kids and for me and Kar - we had some great girl time after the kids went to bed. It was awesome being in the nice weather for a change. There were 5 kids under 3 - so the days were a little crazy, but more manageable than I thought it would be.

We went on a hike through Snow Canyon.

There is a lake with ducks and swans right in their backyard. This is Brock and Brooklyn feeding them.

We went to a really fun park with all these cool contraptions.

It was a great time - I LOVE that Karli lets us go down with them. Unfortunately I did not get any pictures of her cute Lydia - she was so good and so fun.