Temple Square

By far this is my most favorite outing with my kids.  Although the older they get the "harder" it gets.  No one bats an eye when a 2 year old or a 3 year old runs around the rim of a fountain or puts their hands in and slashes.  In fact most people smile and say how cute they are.  But it is not so cute when a 4 or 5 year old do that - in that scenario they look like hooligans that have no discipline.  We are on the cusp of Brock and Noah not being able to do the things they used to be able to do because they should "know better" and temple square often amplifies that.  They are good to be obedient and follow the "new" rules, but a I am also careful to not be too naggy and let them have fun - that is the point after all. 

 

Oh, did I mention Jason got Good Friday off of work so he got to come along with us - score!

 

These two boys have become mostly silly and often annoying.  Don't get me wrong - I love them and there are some great things about them getting older - but anyone who has been around a 7 year old boy knows that they can be super annoying - it often comes out in pictures.

Brock wanted a picture of him jumping off the bridge mid-air.

 

Megan twirling.

  

pictures Brock took.

 

It was great and I can't wait to go more, especially when there are flowers!

Discovery Gateway

Our good friends, the Bells, came to town from Boise so we went to Discovery Gateway to hang out for an afternoon.

 

Madison spent a good half hour trying to put a ball in the tube - but she wasn't strong enough and the wind gust just shot it back at her, she thought it was so funny.

The boys spent the majority of the time building things.

 

Megan and Noah played in the house

 

Madison was also really into the balls and water tubes.  She would follow them down the pipe and scream with delight when they plopped into the bowl.   One thing about Madison that is so fun is that she makes the exact same faces Brock made.  Brock made the cutest faces, mostly using his eyebrows, being a first time mom I thought he was SO CUTE.  Then I thought that is was just the "first time mom" in me and that all kids make cute faces.  Well, it wasn't just the "first time mom" in me, and while Noah and Megan made cute faces - they were nothing compared to Brock and Madison's faces.  They are the exact same and they kill me.  The eyebrows, the lips, the way they even stand when they make the face.  I love it.

 

Megan and Noah fighting, my kids don't often fight, but when they do chances are it is these two.

 

Every time we go Megan spends a good 40 minutes with this conveyor belt.

Our families are pretty perfect.  We have these three older boys that play really well together and these four (soon five - Hailey is too little) little girls that are starting to play really well together.

Zoo with Katie

I decided not to renew our Zoo pass this year - half the zoo (including the train) is shut down for construction and we have had it for two years - so I decided to take the year off and do Thanksgiving Point instead.  We have until the end of April so we are going as much as we can. 

 

We went for our first spring trip with Katie and her kids.

 

Those hills at the Zoo are killer - maybe I should make my kids walk instead of trying to push an extra 70 lbs - at least I am not pregnant - that was the worst!

 

Noah took a picture of me from his vantage pint

Elder Hanna



I thought I didn't have vary many pictures/things to blog about but then I uploaded the pictures from my camera for Easter and I had 100 pictures!  So you will all be treated with blog catch-up over the next week or so.

 

Starting with my cutest littlest brother coming home from his mission.  Let me just tell you how excited my kids were for Daniel to come home.  We had count down after count down going.  Noah was the most excited.  He hated going to grandma Hanna's house with out uncle Daniel there.  He would just say, "I just want uncle Daniel to be at Grandma Hanna's house!"  Despite his airplane arrival being smack dab in the middle of nap time we were all at the airport ready to welcome him home.

The excited parents.

  

Could you just die!  He is so handsome!

 

  

  

Daniel had never met Maddie.  She was the only baby born while he was gone.  He got off easy, while my other brother Michael was gone he had 4 nieces/nephews born - I had 2 in 2 years and my sister had 2 in 2 years.  I guess we took the next two years easy.

  

Daniel came and spent the whole day with us after he got home - he was trying to butter us up I guess because shortly after he announced that he is leaving us for the whole summer to sale security systems - then he will be returning to Utah State.  We were happy to have him home for a month - but SUPER sad to have him leave again so soon.  I actually have not broken the news to my kids yet (especially Noah) I know they will be sad.

 

Daniel is wonderful and was a wonderful missionary.  My mother got so many phone calls from people on his mission that just wanted to talk to Elder Hanna's mom.  It is a joke in the family that Daniel is the perfect one - well it really isn't a joke - he is pretty perfect.  I can't wait to see what his life has in store for him!

Blogidy blog blog

I am in an intense blogging rut.  I want to blog - in theory - but I am just not feeling it.  I don't really take pictures anymore - for two reasons: 1) I don't take my camera because I feel like "how many pictures/posts can I do of us at the zoo?" and 2)I am trying to just be in the moment rather than capturing it.  It makes me feel sad for the girls because they are not blogged about as much as the boys were.  I have a million journalish posts I want to write.  But I am only in the mood to do that at 12:00 in the afternoon and everything is crazy and I want to blog my feelings to the world about my crazy life.  And then an hour later they are all sleeping and I would rather do something else... or I have forgotten my feelings.  Either way, my 2013 blog is nothing short of pathetic.

For today I am just going to try for a few bullet points.

• I confirmed my suspicions at parent teacher conference yesterday that Brock is not performing at school the way he is at home.  She has him reading on a "c" level.  I don't really know what all the "levels" are, but my pride was telling me he was higher than a C.  So I brought in the books he is reading at home and her jaw dropped.  "HE is reading THIS?" his teacher said.  She called him over and had him read it - she was shocked.  She says she can barley get his to read "the or bat" on a consistent basis.  What?  Frustrating!!  The book I brought she thought was a "E or F" level.  We had a talk, but Brock either didn't seem to get what the problem was or didn't care.  She is going to push him harder now, but I wonder why he doesn't want to do work in school.  The story is almost the same with math as well.
• I get more comments now about how many children I have so close together than I ever did when I had babies.  I think it is because they are all starting to be about the same height and they all walk and talk and it is overwhelming to other people.  I was just walking through the parking lot to the boys' swim lessons when another mom said, "What, did you have a baby like every year?"  We hadn't even made eye contact yet and that is what she says to me.  I smiled and laughed and said, "yes, yes I did".  Another man at a grocery store said, "Those kids can't all be yours can they?"  And at Arctic circle another mom, after about 10 minutes of watching us said, "ok, I just have to ask, are all these kids yours?"  What the what?  I have 4 kids people!  And this is Utah.  What do they mean ALL THESE KIDS - you would think I have 15.  It doesn't offend me at all - it actually flatters me a little.  I have taken that "title" upon me and I wear it proudly - but really... I really don't think I look that crazy.  And I do believe that my kids are well behaved and I am rarely looking super overwhelmed.  Usually the only time I loose control of them and look like a mother that has her hands a little too full would be when we are checking out at the grocery store.  Bad things happen in those 5 minutes.
• (I have been meaning to say this once since like October)  My really close friend decided to have her last two 15 months apart.  Her third is Madison's age and then she had her fourth 15 months later.  I have done that 3 times and thought is was just great.  But when you are not the one doing it your look CRAZY.  (I guess I just answered my above bullet point question).  After she had her fourth and I saw her with her 15 month old and a baby I was like "how are you doing this?  Why did you do this?  How are you dressed today?  How do you take care of your other kids? "Why did  you think that was a good idea?"  Even now with a 2 year old and a 7 month old I take great pitty on her because it just looks too hard.  haha.  I have to remind myself that I was her AND I was pregnant again, no wonder people stop me in parking lots. 
• Jason and I are on the look out for a new show to watch now that 30 Rock has ended.  We have watched 30 Rock and How I Met Your Mother together since they started - and now watching one together is just too sad.  I really like New Girl and have tried to get him into it - but he didn't like it so much.  When HIMYM ends our marriage might suffer. :)
• Sometimes my back hurts where my kidneys are and my first instinct is, "wouldn't it be great if it were a kidney stone and I could go to the hospital for 2 days and lay in bed on a strong pain medication."  Am I alone on that thought?
• Madison is now in nursery.  Of course it is wonderful.  I have had a baby with me in church for the last 6 years with the exception of 5 weeks in 2010 right before I had Megan.  But to be honest it was really hard to have her go in.  When I walked down the hall to my class with out her I thought, "what's so great about this anyways? I miss her (even though she is HORRIBLE for the 2 hours (we have 1:00 church))" or "I don't think this is all it is cracked up to be."  Everyone excels in different parts of mothering - we all have strengths and weaknesses and I just really enjoy having my children really young and with me.  I know I will struggle more as they get older - for other moms it is reversed.  We are all the same - just on our own path.  (That bullet point got weird - oh well... I went with my feeling.)
• I have a nervous break down the first week of every month - tears and everything.  There is just too much to do and not enough time or help to do it.  I realize that I need my children gone for at least 48 hours just to feel like I am caught up and can tread water again.  I have to plan my meals for the month, make a grocery list, go shopping, make some of our staple foods to last us through the month, clean, clean, clean, clean (I really don't deep clean anymore and I only notice the first week of the month), I also USED to be my pack meeting (I am the cub scout master) so that was super overwhelming but that just changed  - so now I can do that one the third week of the month, and a million other things that I can't think of right now but nevertheless seem soul crushing.  And I just want to throw in the towel and give up.  I can't do it.  It is too hard.  And when was the last time I washed everyone's sheets?  And the boys need a hair cut.  And when is Maddie's next well check?  and...and...and.  All these things are super manageable all other weeks, but when I change that month calendar all of the sudden I feel like it all needs to be done and organized with a pretty bow on top RIGHT NOW and I just can't do it AND be a good mom at the same time.  And then on like the 6th or 8th I calm down, I somehow got it all done or at least the pressing things, and I move on.
• This was our best winter EVER concerning sicknesses.  I took Madison into the doctor once to check for an ear infection that she did not have.  Wow.  In the winter of 2008-2009 I paid a total of 18 co-pays from Thanksgiving to Valentines day- and ALL were justified and resulted in an actual diagnosis.  We have had our share of runny noses and a few coughs but that is it.  Most of our neighbors got hit with a bad stomach flu and we avoided it - knock on wood.

That is it for now.  One day you might get a picture.

Faith

I feel like the last 4 years I have been on a journey to grow and define my faith.  I have found a song that I just love.  I listen to it almost everyday.  I am trying to understand it.  It speaks of a faith I want, a faith that most days I feel so far from.  I feel like I have a close, loving, involved Heavenly Father when I am getting blessed and I see Him in my life and I feel the spirit in my heart.  I question His love for me when my faith is challenged and I don't feel like He is listening to me or blessing me with the things I want or feel like I deserve.  This is obviously a very superficial faith. 

This song speaks to a faith that transcends blessings.  Please click on the link and listen to it while you read the words.  Just reading the words doesn't do the song justice, and the song will be more powerful if you read the words.  (After you click on the link towards the bottom of the page there is a date: "January 1, 2011" under the date there are words on the middle of the page - click on the words "show more" and the lyrics will pop up (those direct instructions were for my grandma :) ))

Gratitude

Send some rain, would You send some rain?

Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again

And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade

Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?

Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down

Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid


But maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You, with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to thirst for You

How to bless the very sun that warms our face

If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread

Bless our bodies, keep our children fed

Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight

Wrap us up and warm us through

Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs

Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time


Or maybe not, not today

Maybe You'll provide in other ways

And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You, with gratitude

A lesson learned to hunger after You

That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead
And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between

Everything we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace

Move our hearts to hear a single beat, between alibis and enemies tonight

Or maybe not, not today

Peace might be another world away

And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
, with gratitude

For lessons learned in how to trust in You

That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream

In abundance or in need

And if You never grant us peace
But Jesus, would You please . . .

When I first found this song I yearned for a faith like that.  It became my mission.  I knew in my heart that my covenants would be the key to finding that kind of faith.  Today I feel closer, a lot closer.  My journey this last year has been miraculous.  My favorite line in that song is, "how to bless the very sun that warms our face, if you never send us rain."  Some days I feel like I can understand her and could do that and other times the sun just seems cruel and unrelenting.  I want to "bless the sun that warms my face".  One day I hope that I can feel confident that I have found this strong faith, or that maybe one day, someone will say that about me (think grandchildren at funeral).  I come from a long line of great faithful women and I yearn to be one of them one day.