The mothers in my life

I wrote this post fast and did not take the time to verify spelling of names - sorry. It would have been too overwhelming and I would have never written the post.

I have been thinking a lot about the women in my life who have taught me, inspired me, or been an example to me. They are women who have each taken part in molding the wife, mother, and woman that I am and am still becoming. Some of them effect my every day life while some of them have touched certain areas - the way I fulfill my callings in church, the way I serve, my work ethic, etc.

These women have all been mothers to me. So for mothers day this year I would like to mention some of them.

• Of course my mother. See this post for the reasons why she affects my everyday life.
• My Mother-in-law. She is deserving of her own post (it will come). But she has obviously been a huge influence n my life. I met Debby when I was just 16 and falling in love with her son. She was always so supportive of me and always there when I needed her - and still is.
• My Grandma Brown - she has been the ultimate grandma, I didn't even realize or appreciate it until I have had kids of my own and seeing how important her traditions have been in my life. The consistency of love, and a place where we could always go, created a stabilizing force while growing up. Extended family can really do that. In the last 10 years I have seen my grandma as a strong woman with a deep testimony. I know my grandma loves the gospel and her Savior and she lives it. Having a strong tradition of faith has deep roots in my soul and makes me feel stronger myself.
• My aunts: Jen, Leslie, Cindy, Chantelle, and Cathy and my Great Aunt Pat. I won't name specifically what all these woman have done for me individually - because for a lot of reasons it was a joint effort. For my mother's sisters and sister-in-laws it was just always being there. Being there at events in my life, at Sunday dinners/desserts, at holidays.
• My aunts (in-laws), Chantelle and Cindy showed me how to be a daughter and sister in law. Watching them trough the years I have realized that I often emulate them in my relationship with my in-laws. Always showing up, being supportive, (even when husband's aren't). It is easy for wives to tend to want to be with their family more and not support the activities or family of their husbands - but the example of my aunts have instilled in me what it means to be a family and support everyone in it.
• My aunts: they have all touched my life in various ways. Both individually and collectively.
• My aunt Cathy specifically because she is the only one on my dad's side I felt that mothering connection too. My dad's side of the family is not very close - but I always felt at home in her house and close with all her kids. I knew she loved me and I have always felt that she knows me.
• My great-aunt Pat has done the same thing for me. I always felt that she "got" me. She is my great-aunt and doesn't really need to be involved in my life - but she always has been. She came to all my life events (graduation, birthdays, etc), threw me my showers, and comes to my baby's blessings. She has been someone I have gone to for advice and have thought of her many times when I need an example of a strong righteous woman.
• My aunt Les and Jen (my mom's sisters) have been wonderful aunts to me. Especially in the last few years (I don't know if that is fair - I know they have always been wonderful, but when you are young you are selfish and self centered and don't realize how much everyone does for you). They have been so wonderful and supportive of my family and my children and have helped me out in ways I cannot list. I have always known I can count on them like they are my sisters. Having this strong support system has changed me and gives me a strong foundation. I have gotten a lot closer to my aunt Jen in the last few years, we have gone to women's conference together and I have felt a deeper love from her than I ever realized. I really have felt in the last through years that I can talk to her and trust her. I appreciate the time she takes with me. Leslie has a daughter Noah's age - it is fun going through the young children years with one of my aunts. She has been an invaluable resource in this stage of life, not just for hand me down clothes, but I feel like she is dealing with the same issues as I am/will be, in raising young children in this world right now. Her kids are still young and she is an example to me of mothering them.
• Many for my friend's moms have been like mothers to me. I always felt welcomed and loved in all my friend's homes and their mom's were always present, loving, and have definitely impacted the ways I want to mother - especially my daughters. Krista Hammond, Sherri Wray, Heidi Hogan, Marry-ann (Davis), Connie Engh, the list could go on and on. But there are two that I want to talk about specifically.
• Teresa Curtis. This is Karli's mom. From her I have felt a profound testimony of marriage, children and family life. I was around a lot when Karli got engaged and married.  Teresa mom was like a rock. She was so supportive and loving through everything. At a time when she could have thought Karli was too young, too immature, or didn't know Skyler well enough, she instead, showed her testimony of families, marriage, the temple, personal revelation, faith, and trust. Another experience I had was shortly after I had Brock. He was about 3 months old and we were attending the wedding of her daughter, Rachel. I was holding Brock in my arms when I saw Teresa.  She said how cute he was... all the normal stuff you say to first time moms. Then she said, "Now you know what people mean when they say..." I finished her sentence in my head, "how hard it is, how expensive it is, how exhausting it is, etc" In my head I was rolling my eyes because I didn't feel that way - but everyone was always saying it and being negative about it. But instead she said. "how much love and joy children bring you." I was shocked. Yes! That is exactly how I felt! Thank you for validating my feelings. I go back to that conversation a lot in my head. I want to be like that. I want people to know that is how I feel about children and family life. That it is a joy. I was so impressed that she said that to me - to take the positive road, rather than the negative.
• Chris Hair. She is the mother of my friends - "the triplets" Megan, Nicole, and Alyse. She is a faithful woman. I was in her home a lot when I was gaining my testimony and her example really shaped me. I wanted to mention her specifically because one time I had a bad experience. Something happened (I won't mention because of the personal nature) but I didn't know what to do or where to turn. I was shaken and scared. I drove to the Hair home - not to talk to my friends (there were three of them) - but to talk to their mom. I knew she would know what to do. And she did. She comforted me and helped me solve the problem. Knowing that I could turn to her like that... made all the difference. And I still feel like I could show up on her door step with a problem and I could really talk to her and she would really care.
• Young Women's leaders and ward members. I plan on this being a whole post itself one day. I am nervous to even put names because I don't want to forget anyone. But these women - from Willow Creek 5th ward - have had the largest impact on who I am as a woman (other than my own mom). My Young Women's President's - Nancy Wilkinson and Kim Olsen. I invited both of them to the temple for my wedding. I think that says how I feel about them. But even the leaders and ward members who maybe feel like they didn't touch me personally - did because of just their example. I am going to try and name because I think it is important. Leah Bryner, Silvia Brewer, Jolyn Miles, Karen Tsujimoto, Carol Fitsgerald, Pat Thomas, Julie Seal, Joann Miller, Michelle Greer, Connie Engh, Suzanne Nance, Paula Saunders, Bonnie Morgan, Holly VanDam, Karen Rosevear, Sherie Wasdon, Laura Ward, Naomi Goodman. The way these woman served, fulfilled their callings, and simply just attended church and activities have made an impact in my life. I have gone to them and their example in my head MANY MANY times as I have tried to fulfill my callings, assignments, or simply to serve in my ward. Also a few women in the stake: Leslie Egan and Dianne Duckworth - the exact same thing goes for them. These are women who I feel love me and know me.
• Women I worked with. These women all were my supervisors or bosses at work - but they did a lot more than train and mentor me. They have had a lasting impression in so many ways.
• Amanda Neilson. She was my supervisor at Heritage Gardens (ages 16-20). And the youngest person on my list. She was just 2 or 3 years older than me. But I met her at a very impressionable time in my life - and she said and did some things for me that altered my life. I may never see her again and have no idea where she is right now. But she has impacted my life and for that I will always be grateful. I think about her a lot.
• Awbree Summers. I don't have the words to really describe what Awbree did for me and taught me. She was also one of my bosses at Heritage Gardens. Again, at a very impressionable time. I really don't think I could have made it through those years with out her support and love. She is someone I have also lost contact with, and it makes me sad because I really don't know if I would be where I am today with out her. She was there for me when I really needed someone. Rarely did we even talk about my life or problems (but we did do that) but she just provided a stabilizing force and sometimes an escape. On a more technical note she also taught me how to arrange flowers. That may sound stupid. But it was hard for me to be creative, trust myself, and put myself out there like that. Things like that were not in my personality, and she pushed me. Pushed me more than anyone has. It was scary. But she trusted me and that allowed me to trust myself. That skill is priceless.
• Charmaine Smoot. Char was my mother at work. She worked with me at NET - I worked there while I was married, going to school, and pregnant with Brock. The main thing she taught me was having a mothers heart. She had 3 kids of her own and worked full time - she could have easily been so wrapped up in her own life and own problems - and it would have been justified. But she was a mother to every single person in our office. She made sure we were all ok, made sure we all had lunches and dinners every night, she knew about our lives and our problems, she really mothered us all on a daily basis. She was also an example to me of being a supportive wife. I don't want to give any details but she really showed me (through actions and word) what it meant to be a loving supportive wife and help meet.
• Last but certainly not least - Pat Thomas. My second mother. She is my mom's best friend and literally my second mother. My second home. My second family. I know that she loves me and my family as much as anyone could. The support I feel from her is tangible. I love how much she loves my mom and my sister Ashley. I know that she is always there for them (in sickness and in health) and I can count on her to take care of them. It is comforting to know. She has touched my life in the same way a mother does - words can not express.

I was nervous to write this post because I don't want to forget anyone - so I am sorry if I did - I may write an addendum post when I realize I forgot someone. With all this being said I feel want to re-emphasize what a wonderful mother I have and how none of these women could have made a difference in my life with out my mothers influence and foundation. She is the ultimate mother - so please read the post I wrote to her 2 mother's days ago.

Easter

Holidays get more and more fun the older your kids get. But it is also nice when they are young because there are not expectations and they are thrilled with anything. We have 9 AM church, so we decided not to do the Easter thing until after naps. They didn't even know it was supposed to be another way.

Here are the kids finding the eggs around the house.

Megan got to eat one candy egg. She got a lot of necklaces in her Easter basket. She LOVES necklaces.

She spends most her days with a necklace over her head.

Brock and Noah both got some tractors in their baskets. They both love tractors right now - but especially Noah. He LOVE LOVE LOVES them. And these things have made him so happy. He plays with them for hours and hours.

He carries them around the house with him like this. He takes them in and out of the sand box and carries all of them at the same time. He wants to take them every time we leave the house. I hope I always remember him with an arm full of tractors.

Brock got this puzzle. After about 2 days of help he learned to do it all by himself. He loves to do it. I need to get him a few more puzzles because he really enjoys it.

Then we went to my grandma's house for dinner and an Easter egg hunt. And Megan was about the cutest thing in the world. She totally "got" the whole thing. She wanted to walk and she would find an egg and put it in her bag. She loved looking in her bag at her eggs. And then when she was done she had a blast shaking her eggs. Poor girl never knew there was candy in the eggs - her horrible mother never showed her. :) But she was happy enough just to shake them.

Noah and Brock, however, have been around the block a few times - and are fully aware of the candy in the eggs. My grandma has all the eggs numbered - and then each kid gets a number and they have to find 8 eggs with "their" number on them. How educational! It was actually great because we have really been focusing on numbers around here - Brock has been having a hard time learning them. And true to form - with out realizing it, I found out from the hunt that Noah knows all his numbers. Everything we teach Brock, Noah learns right along with him.

Uncle Michael was nice enough to help Noah find all his eggs.

Megan and Sam

My cousins and sisters. Andrea, Lizzy, Meagan, Katie and Sam, Audrey, Ashley, me

Brock spent the night playing soccer with the big kids.

And we ended it with some icecream. A pretty perfect Easter.

Four

Four seems so much older than three... right? I mean really - how did I get a four year old?

Despite my attempts to freeze time Brock turned four last week.

He was insistent on a spiderman party. That is his thing right now - anything and everything spider man. It is funny how he picked spider man. His Grandma Herbert gave him a large writing book that had a lot of pictures of different super heros. And from just looking at the pictures and hearing their names - he decided Spiderman is the coolest. He has been planning this party (in GREAT detail) for four months.

This was Brock's first real party - him being part of the planning and having friends - so I tried hard to walk the fine line between matching his excitement with reality and not spoiling him and setting the bar too high. For four months every day I would have to say, "wait until your birthday", or "maybe for your birthday" - so I wanted him to see that it WAS worth waiting for. But he is also at that stage where his wants are insatiable, so I didn't want him to become too self centered. I think we pulled it off beautifully.

Here is some of the decor.


I had black streamers across the middle of the rooms (webs) and red and blue ones lining the walls. I always do a mural of pictures of birthdays and this one was on a Spiderman banner. He REALLY wanted a pinata - but did you know they are 20 bucks! Plus candy... not in the budget. So I made one. So EASY and way worth it. Cost me less than a dollar (still had to buy candy). If you are going to try and make one - talk to me first - I have some tips I learned along the way. Plus a spiderman cake (family party) and cupcakes (friend party).


He was very happy with the results. Nothing is so rewarding when you are up until midnight covered in paper mache paste, frosting, and cake batter, when your little four year old walks around the house all day saying, "this is going to be the best birthday ever" - he kept saying, "thank you mom, I love my Spiderman party." It makes it all worth it.

It all worked out great to have his friend party and his family party all on the same day and all on his actual birthday. We had 8 friends over in the afternoon for lunch, cake, and some party games. He wanted to invite about 20 friends (ranging from ages 6 months to 9 years and friends who live in Idaho and West Virginia). It took weeks to convince him to cut down the list. And even on the day of the party (and after) he repeatedly expressed his sadness that ALL his friends weren't there.

The pinata:

We also played musical chairs, a spider finding game, and... something else, but I can't remember right now.

Presents:

Brock got 8 guns from this party! They were all squirt guns - that made me feel a little better. But still... He was thrilled.

Cake:

For one of the party favors I found these spiderman masks (some jewelry for the girls). Brock wears his every day still.

Family Party:

We had the family party that night.

We had the cake:

And some presents. Spiderman jammies and a spiderman helmet - only fitting.

Sand toys and some books for helping him learn to write.

Plus here are the pictures from the Spiderman bike that his aunt Kasey gave him. He loves it and rides it everyday - even though the weather has been crappy ever since he got it. It took him about a week before he could really get anywhere (for such a coordinated athletic child - this boy could not figure out how to peddle!) But now he is getting good. I think it will be a month or so before he is proficient - but he can go up hill and he is turning a little better.

Brock was a great birthday boy. Noah was having a hard time all day. But Brock was very sensitive to him. When Noah would be having a melt down Brock would try to distract him by telling him he could help him blow out his candles or that he could eat his birthday cake. Brock has been sharing all of his toys and his bike. He never has acted spoiled or over-indulged. He warmed my heart all day.