Back to School

Yesterday I realized that school starts in one week.  I knew that it started on the 12th - I just (for some strange reason) had no idea that the 12th was in one week!  We were at the library when I made the discovery and it felt like I was falling into a dark hole.  I know that sounds super dramatic - but it is the best way to explain it.  I started crying - for real!  My heart was racing; I couldn't breath.  I am not ready for summer to be over.  I had no idea this was our last week of summer - there was so much I still wanted to do.

I love having my children home.  Love it.  As I walked through the library I wondered if I HAD to send them; what if I home schooled?  What if I just sent them a few weeks later?  I know they have to go - but why??  Our summer has been good.  Actually, I think we kind of rocked it.  We got a great chore chart and school work chart going that the kids liked, supported, and did happily.  We had very little screen time, spent at least 80% of our time outside, and went swimming at least twice a week.  Besides, many of the things I wanted to do I ended up consciously deciding not to do.  I really wanted to go to the zoo and an amusement park - but at the end of the day - the kids didn't really care to go and it just wasn't worth the money.  I had intended on doing more hiking - but I think I will save them for next summer when Maddie is just a little older.  But regardless of my feelings of regret that the summer is over; the truth is we spent it just the way we wanted.  Our mornings were slow, unrushed, but for the most part productive.  The boys learned to help more around the house (that was my one summer goal - teach them to clean - and we totally accomplished that) and the boys made great strides in their school work.  The best part of  the summer, in my opinion, was the neighborhood friends.  I have learned something about myself this summer.  I love having children in my home.  Not just my children, all children.  I love having hordes of children running in and out of the door - I love the sound of my front and back doors opening and shutting with the sounds of screams, laughter, and little feet following.  I love them running around with dress-ups on, swords, squirt guns, and baby dolls tucked under their arms.  I love it. 

I hate the thought of the boys being at school all day.  It is so long.  I have loved having Noah home while the girls napped.  I know that it will be nice to be alone while the girls nap and have a few hours everyday to myself - but it also represents a stage of my life ending, and that is always sad. 

With that being said, about 2 years ago I made a promise to myself that I was going to love every stage of motherhood and live IN THAT stage and not morn the one that just ended.  Each stage has its challenges and rewards and each stage can be great if we just embrace it and love it.  This is a great stage.  The girls have never just had me to themselves.  Madison has never not had to pick someone up from kindergarten - so she has never really had great morning outings.  This will be great.  In three years I will be writing a much similar post, but it will much more dramatic and much more fatalistic.  It will be one week away from all of them being in school.  And while the thought of it makes my heart stop a little.  I already know that it will be great.  It will be a new phase, and we will thrive in it, just like we have thrived in all the others.  Plus, we always have next summer.