Megan and Brock's birthdays

Wow, I can't believe it took me so long to do a post about Brock and Megan's birthdays (April).  Their birthday's are just 6 days apart so we did a joint birthday this year.  I had intended on doing two cakes - one for Brock and one for Megan.  Megan was very sure that she wanted an iron man cake.  After I was positive that she knew exactly what she wanted - and Brock wanted Spiderman (again) I decided to do just one super hero cake. 

And she loved it!  

Megan turned two - although I naturally think of her as much much older.  Sometimes it seems as though I have triplets. She thinks that she is the same age as her brothers and wants to do everything they can do.  The weird thing is... she can.  She can climb on anything they can, she can run, jump, wrestle, and be just as crazy as they can.  My sister once described her as "able", and she is very "able", she is fearless and crazy but knows her limits and is responsible in her craziness. She is extremely verbal.  She can talk, and talk, and talk.  This started at around 16 months.  She loves to read books, but mostly having them read to her.  She is a great singer.  She sings all the words to all of her songs and is very precise about it.  She loves her primary songs (Popcorn, Wise Man, and I am a Child of God), Rubber Duckie, and a song that Shiny sings on Dinosaur Train "I Like to Sing so Free".  But her Favorite song is "Come Thou Fount" but she calls it "Streams of Mercy".  She loves to play with Play Dough - that is her every day (several times a day) go-to activity.  She isn't really into learning her letters much.  By the time my boys were two they knew almost all their letters and sounds, her brain seems to be more wired to math.  She can build things with the precision of Brock.  She can build the train tracks and have them all connect and curve the right way and not fall off the train table.  She follows the directions to build a functioning marble tower (that is something I struggle with :).    

Brock had to get some super hero moves in with his super hero cake.

Brock turned 5 this year.  That to me is crazy.  He is turning into a kid and it is wonderful.  He is the best oldest child any one could ever ask for.  He loves his siblings so much and takes care of them all day.  He is always very aware of them and if they are happy or sad and tries to help in what ever way he can.  He is very excited for Kindergarten and has been counting down the days for about 4 months. He is wanting to take on more and more responsibility around the house.  Wants to make everyone's sandwiches for lunch and be in charge of making dinner or changing the laundry.  He is starting to read and write well and is writing words phonetically and just wants to sound things out rather than have me tell him how to spell it.  Although he does get frustrated easily and just wants to stop when he doesn't know how to do something.  This summer he is learning how to swim and ride a two wheeler.  his athleticism is still astounding.  He is very excited for soccer this fall, we got him in a different league that I think will be better (4 on 4), he just started basketball and loves it, and he makes sure we "practice" with his mit everyday to learn to catch. 

April is a hard month on Noah.  Like I said earlier - these three are more like triplets - and Noah in April he get's pretty left out.  He wanted his picture next to the Super Hero cake.  He is so sweet though ,and did much better this year than last.  He bought both of them presents and was really excited to give them to them.

My picture taker took a lot of blurry pictures - but they were too cute to not post.

 Megan loved opening her presents.  And thought it all was "cute".

 Brock got soccer cleats and a baseball mit.  He LOVES them and jumped right up off the ground when he opened them. 

 And a back pack. He calls it a pack pack and it makes my heart melt.  I don't want to correct him because it represents his innocence and a pure little boy not quite ready for kindergarten.  I know we have to tell him it's a back pack and as soon as he calls it that it will be like he crossed some sort of thresh hold in my mind - and be a big kid with a back pack - but for one more month he is my little Brock with a pack pack.

 Megan got a few "girly" toys from her grandparents and aunt.  She uses them a lot - but it is funny in our house their isn't much a difference between girl and boy stuff.  They all just play with everything together.  

Happy birthdya Brock and Megan.  We love you both so much!

Mother's day and Father's day

Jason had to work most the day on Mother's day so I decided to forego having Mother's Day on Sunday and celebrate it one a day when he wold be home all day.  So my "real" mothers day was the Friday after Mother's Day.  Well, actually I had already gotten my Mothers Day present the week before.  See, I had been carrying around a "spring cleaning to-do" list since March and very slowly checking things off the list (and by very slowly meaning not at all).  I made a comment to Jason that while I was in Boise he could do my whole list and that would be my Mother's Day gift... he said he would clean a few things but felt my WHOLE list was ridiculous and unnecessary, at best.  Then in Boise he said he couldn't find my list and acted as if he had given up, because he "didn't know what to clean" and was just going to buy me a Mother's Day present instead.  I was a little annoyed, who can only clean if they "have a list"? - a 14 year old, that's who.

Well I came home from Boise to my WHOLE LIST being checked off.  And this was a MASSIVE list, people.  Like cleaning all ceiling fans, blinds, base boards, clean out and sweep garage, vacuum under all furniture, etc. Our house sparkled, Jason is a great cleaner - better than me - when he wants to be.  He is so tricky.  I was so so happy. 

Well, on (Sunday) Mother's day I dressed me and the kids all matchee.  I had mentioned before that the girl's didn't have any matchee clothes.  My friend Karli loaned us these cute Sailor Dresses and the girls finally fit in them.  

I was unable to get a successful picture.  But they sure looked cute.

Father's day was kind of a bust this year.  It started out great.  On Saturday we went to Jason's parent house for some awesome swimming and an amazing dinner.  Then on Sunday the kids and I made some cards and a great breakfast for him.  But then at church Brock got really sick and we all ended  up leaving right after Sacrament, I ended up taking him to instacare and found out he had strep.  The rest of our plans were canceled - Jason is not really into things like holiday's and birthday's anyways so he didn't care - but I felt really bad.

Quick family outing

Jason met us at the zoo one evening after work to see the new bear exhibit.  Very cool.

As you can see all four of them loved looking into the water.

Evening family outings are one of my favorites.

A Little Family History

One of my favorite family traditions is going to the graves on Memorial Day.  It think it is a tradition not always honored any more in our society.  It has always been a strong tradition in in my extended family thanks to these two: 

My grandma and grandpa Brown lovingly take flowers from their gardens to all of their families grave site and clean them up.

I actually really saw for the first time this year the love that goes into it.  Especially from my grandpa.  He spent a very long time cleaning up and taking care of the graves of his wife's deceased extended family.  I watched him tend to those grave sites and thought about his motives.  I think that shows a great deal of love, respect, and honor.  He is a good man, my grandpa.

We are "that" family that sits in the cemetery and tells stories.  It is wonderful and really carries a strong sweet spirit of family and unity.  I guess this is part of what they mean when they say "turning the hearts of the children to their fathers".  I can tell stories about my great grandparents that I have never met.  I love that.

 This is my grandpa's grandparents.

They lost four children and they are all buried right underneath them.  Two of their children that died were older (like 7 and 14) - my heart ached for them.  They lost 4 children at separate time of their lives.  As a mother now, my heart sunk when I saw my poor great great grandmothers four children that she buried. 

 This is my grandpa's parents.  They died before I was born, but my mother was very close to them, so I feel a kinship.  They lived right up the street from my grandparents and my mom growing up (I am told it was a lot like "Everybody Loves Raymond" - so there are a lot of funny stories.)

 My grandma's little brother died when he was 17 in a car accident.

This is my grandma's parents.  I knew my great grandmother well.  We called her "Great".  She died when I was a junior in high school.  She came to the graves a lot, and in her old age she was so funny (I think confused is the correct term).  One year I remember she thought that people had just died and we were at their burial, she morned their loss all over again.  It was really sad, kinda funny too.  She was so sad for her little Ricky, and her husband (he had died about 30 years before and she was always so mad that he had "left her" and "hadn't come and got her yet".)  One year she was sad because she thought one of her other sons Nels, had died and we were at his grave.  We told her Nels was still alive, that made her happy.

 These are my grandma's grandparents.  He had two wives, but not at the same time.  My "real" great great grandma died when my great grandma was about two and the family was in Chicago.  They brought the body here (they were coming from Norway to join the saints in Salt Lake City) and buried her in the City Cemetery.  Her husband soon remarried (in Salt Lake) and she raised all the children.

We have adopted this grave site into our family.  We don't know who she is (names are rubbed out) - but she is right next to my great great grandparents.  When my great grandma was a little girl her and her sisters would go to their mothers grave they would have a contest see who could cry first or cry the hardest.  This statue made them so sad and they noticed no one ever came and visited her - they figured she would want someone to be sad she had died, so they would take a few minutes and cry for her every time.  They called her the "weeping woman". (Young girls are so dramatic... can't wait:)  We continue to visit her each time.

This last one is my uncle.  He died suddenly almost 4 years ago.  His presence and memory are still very tangible.  It is funny because I couldn't say me and my uncle were particularly close, we saw each other a lot, but.... you know... didn't have a lot to talk about I guess.  But I can honestly say I felt a draw to him my whole life and after his death I learned that his opinion meant a lot to me.  I remember wanting his approval.  I really respected him.  I still find my self wondering what he would think about something or react to something.  He is very very missed.

 

I shared this tradition with my boys this year.  They did very good resisting their urge to climb on every grave stone.  I hope they can learn to love their heritage and ancestry like I have.  I think it is a strong part of who I am and who I decided I wanted to be.  I feel that I have a deep heritage of faithful, strong women and I can distinctly remember as a teenage girl knowing that I wanted to draw strength from them and follow in their tradition.  I want to pass that on to my children.

swimming

My kids have never loved the water and I have not been great about taking them swimming (real swimming - splash pads and pools don't count).  Reasons: Brock's timidness wore off on the rest of them, I don't love to swim and I am not good at it (hate having to shower and wash hair after), to say it is hard to take 4 kids 4 and under (who don't like swimming in the first place) swimming by yourself is an understatement, Jason does not like to swim - and actually sticks to it (unlike me who will do it "for my kids").

All that aside I think it is important for my children to know how to swim and enjoy it.  I knew one thing would work - peer pressure.  Brock thinks that Payton Bell is so cool, and what ever Payton does, Brock wants to do.  So when we were in Boise I wanted to go swimming because Payton is a great swimmer (all of her kids are) and I KNEW that if the boys saw Payton swimming all by himself - they would want to.  Oh my goodness, did it work.  They had more fun and were more daring at that swimming pool than they had EVER been. 

That kicked off our swimming summer.  They have taken off in their ability and desire to swim. 

My Mother in law's neighbors put in the most incredible pool and has given us an open invitation.  The boys had so much fun - we are going again this weekend. 

You can put your umbrella and chairs in the shallow end and Megan and Madison can just walk around - so great.  See that rock slide - oh so fun!

These two make my heart swell.  To say that they are best friends would be a huge understatement - they are like each others halves - truly.

Birds Nest

Earlier this spring we noticed we had a birds nest in our Asian Pear tree.  It was too high up to see if there were any eggs in it so we watched and waited.  One day I was outside with the kids and heard a little chirping.  I looked up and saw these little guys staring back at me.

I became a little obsessed with them (I think we all did).  There was a mom and a dad and 4 babies (just like our family Jason said).  The mom and dad were so good.  They spent all day going back and forth bringing worms and berries to their hungry children.  It was funny how my maternal instincts kicked in when I knew there was another mom with young babies in my back yard.  I loved those babies and their sweet parents.  I would tell the kids to be quiet or come inside when I thought the babies were sleeping - and the mom and dad bird did not like when us or the kids got too close to the tree - so I made sure we stayed our distance.  I felt so honored that they felt my backyard and my tree were the perfect place to start their little family (I know I am being silly - but that is really how I felt)

This is the dad - so handsome.

Then one morning at about 7:00 am I heard frantic chirping for about 15 minutes straight.  I looked out the window and saw the mom and dad bird flying frantically around the backyard almost yelling.  I went to see what the problem was, I saw that their babies had hopped out of the nest during the night (totally normal) and had hopped down our window well, which had grates on them (not normal).  The baby birds couldn't get out and the parents couldn't get down to them to feed them.  I did some studying online and learned the best thing to do was to build a sort of stair way for them to try and climb out of - or at least something for the parents to climb down on to feed them. 

The babies were stuck down there for about 6 hours and me and the kids sat in our basement the whole day and watched as the parents continued to carry worms and berries down to their babies.  We could watch UP CLOSE the mom bird putting the worm in the baby mouth, take that Sid the Science Kid!  It was awesome. 

Eventually the babies hopped out, then hopped around our backyard for two days!  I wouldn't let the kids go out, I didn't want them to step on them or keep the parents from feeding them.  I just wanted them to have the best "nursery" in my back yard.  And then one day they flew away.  It was sad for all of us.  Our backyard feels lonely with out our little bird family.  Truth be told, we lost one.  We don't know why.  There was just a dead baby bird in the back yard one day.  I cried.

Boise

I took the kids and went to Boise to see my friend Karli before she has her fourth baby.  I had wanted to take the trip for some time, but was unsure about the drive with Madison.  I decided she was old enough and I thought it would go well.  The way there was great... the way back... not so much.  I ended up calling Jason in tears at Brigham City telling him I couldn't make it the rest of the way home.  Madison had been crying since almost Boise and no amount of stopping would help.  He gave me a pep talk, I stopped for about 30 more minutes, and made it the rest of the way home.  But it was well worth it.  It was a lot of fun.

Since Karli has moved away when she comes and visits we do things with mostly our old play group - which is great, but we don't get much one on one time.  But we got plenty during our weekend.  Our kids played great together. Payton and Brock included Noah really well, and Megan just fit in with Brooklyn and Lydia - soon she is having another girl which will work out great with Madison in a few years.  I left pretty sure that I want to move to Boise. 

With all the fun we had I only took two pictures.  And pretty lame ones at that.  The girl in the tree with below is a friend of Payton's.

And Megan is not picking her nose, but she sure looks like it.

Anyways, we had a great time, and wish we could do it more often.

Venting

The number one reason for not blogging lately is that I haven't downloaded my pictures from my camera onto my computer.  Seems like such an easy task, but somehow debilitating.  Now I am scared to do it because I will be so overwhelmed.  I still have Brock and Megan's birthdays on there from APRIL.

Number two reason is time.

I had a break down yesterday, several actually.  I just might start complaining, I shouldn't "air my dirty laundry", but... I really want too. 

This is hard.  I wondered if I wanted to say that, you know, out loud, on my blog.  But I think sometimes there is power and strength is acknowledging that something is hard.  Sometimes, when something is really hard, almost too hard, I say to myself, "I am a strong woman".  Sounds lame, but it is a small pep talk that always seems to work.

Anyways back to the NOW.  Yesterday everything kinda came to a head and I felt overwhelmed with the realization that I simply can not get everything done that I need to get done.  And if I even TRY to get it all done than I am not the mom that I want to be and spend most the day trying to get my kids to leave me alone so I can get everything done.  Yesterday all I could think was, "I think if I had 48 hours straight of no kids I could get my to-do list done", but the worst part about a home-makers to do list is the moment something is crossed off it is almost immediately put back at the bottom of the list.  So I probably need 48 hours every month.

This week was just the perfect storm.  Jason got a new schedule - so I am adjusting to that.  I am the scout master and I have my pack meeting on Thursday.  I have 3 new scouts coming in, two or three advancements in each den, a bazillion awards, an arrow of light, and a cub scout going into scouts.  My girls are sick, really sick.  I can not go any where.  We have no food.  I really need a good 2 hours at Walmart and a Costco run, but first I need to meal plan and make a list.  My whites have been in the dryer since Saturday begging to be folded and put away.  I hate folding whites.  I have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes and no dish soap - boo.  My bathroom desperately needs to be cleaned, and I mean DESPERATELY.  Those are all the most pressing.  Everything else can wait.  But those things nag at me and nag at me while I sit holding a sobing, sick child while three others are simultaneously clamoring for my attention.

I wrote this post in my head yesterday, kinda a downer, but it was how I felt.  Actually that is the sugar coated version of how I felt.  I cried to myself for a good hour or so and then sobbed it out to Jason at 10:00 at night (that is my midnight - did I mention I am SO tired I am non-functioning after 8:30).  Then swore to do and be better.  Today has actually been a really good day.  We went on a nature scavenger hunt and then made collages of what we found.  We played superheros with capes in the backyard with a really ferocious wind.  That was a lot of fun.  I have tried very very hard to be patient, but the sound of four children whining just gets me and I feel like I have to scream.  I have been known to go in my back yard and just yell.  But right now all four children are napping (very very rare), I have dinner in a crockpot, and for some reason I felt that it was more beneficial to write down my feelings rather than tackle the very to-do list I am complaining about.  Funny huh.

Now I want to warn someone.  Several months ago I wrote a similar whiny post (I guess that is where my kids get it) and I had a neighbor who had just had a baby THAT WEEK bring me cookies.  So to you, thank you - but I do not complain to get something :) Unlike my kids :)