One of those days

Noah is not sleeping at night. Every night is worse. This morning I just did not want to deal with my day, or my life. I was so tired and I felt so sick from lack of sleep. I felt so overwhelmed and totally under appreciated. It is funny how one day everything can be perfect and I feel like I could have 12 kids, and just 24 hours later I don't know what to do with the 2 that I have. To be honest I just wanted to run away. I wanted to go stay at my mom's for a few days, I wanted to go to the mall, I wanted Cafe Rio, I wanted whatever was different than what I had.

Despite my bad attitude the boys have been great today. Noah has slept all morning (double edge sword), Brock has been so fun and loving and has taken great naps. This afternoon Brock and I were playing soccer (despite my desire to just lay on the couch and never move) and every time he kicked the ball to me or made his cute sound effects when he plays ball, I just felt my heart brimming with joy. I am still wanting a break (good thing I have enrichment tonight!!), but it is nice to know that even on "one of those days" I still feel overwhelmed with joy and happiness at my life that the blessings God has given me.

Noah's Blessing

We blessed Noah in my parents ward up in Sandy. Jason gave a beautiful blessing, everything went perfect. It was one of those days that I will look back on where everything was just as it should be.
I bought Brock a blue tie to match Noah - but I could not get a good picture of them together for the life of me.



On a side note my sister had her baby on Saturday night - so needless to say she was not at the blessing. She had a beautiful baby boy! We are so excited for him and Noah to be so close.

Outings

We have been out and about more than I had expected. In the last week we have been to the duck pond, the park twice, Farm Country, the library for story time, and the grocery store. It has been really easy and a lot of fun! Moby report - Loving it more and more every time. I wasn't planning on using it today. I brought my stroller and was just going to leave Noah in the car seat. But about 10 minutes in he wanted to be held. I put him in the wrap and he fell right asleep. (his head is normally in - I just took it out for the picture).

Every time we go to farm country Brock loves it more and more. He usually does not like the pony ride (it scares him) - but today he kept pushing my hand away because he wanted to ride by himself.

Photo Shoot

So Jess (my wonderful neighbor) wanted to take some pictures of Noah - SURE! They turned out wonderful - I really want to post them all - but I will spare you and post some of my favorites.

This one is our Favorite (above)

First few days alone

Jason went back to work this week- so I am now officially a mother of two. I have been by myself for 2 days now and they have been great - I have not had one problem and I have not felt overwhelmed. The first day we just stayed at the house trying to get a routine down - and then today we went to the duck pond for our activity.

Having two children is great, I actually feel different - I feel like a real mom - and I bet it is only going to get better. I feel so blessed and happy - today Brock, Noah, and I were all on the living room floor reading some books and I just thought, "I never thought I could be so happy or have so much love in my heart." I love being a mother and love Brock and Noah more than I ever thought possible - I would NEVER want to do anything else.

On a side note: I wanted to give a report on the Moby wrap for those of you who are considering it - I don't have much to say yet - I have only used it twice - but they both went well. Brock would have loved it because he liked to be swaddled tight - But Noah would rather stretch and be free - so he just cried the first few times I put him in it - but he seems to have gotten used to it. Right now I worry about him not being able to breath - so I am constantly checking and readjusting - but it just might be that I am paranoid. I will let you know as my opinion changes - but for now I would say that it is "ok" (although I already like it better than a Snuggly - I could not have put Noah in one yet - it definitely supports his head better).

Random Pictures

Check out that hair - I love it!
Noah loves to just lounge around. Brock HAD to be swaddled - Noah, not so much. He doesn't mind it, but he would rather just lounge.
Just cute!
Audrey came to visit today - Brock has been having a hard time since Maggie and Mollie moved - he had SO MUCH FUN with another kid. (play groups anyone???)
Noah actually LOVES tummy time - but not for the right purposes. As far as I know tummy time is to help their neck muscles because they are supposed to try and lift their head. Noah just lays there like this. He could lay like that for a half hour - awake and everything.

More on Brock and Noah

So I wanted to blog about Brock's first 'real' day with Noah (meaning at our house), it was Friday afternoon, Jason went and picked him up from my parents. Noah was sleeping in his swing when Brock came home. Brock did not notice him and just played with his toys, about a half hour in he glanced across the room and he took a double take on Noah. It was so funny - you could actually see him notice Noah. He gave a puzzled look, droped his toy, and walked over to the swing. He just stood there and looked at him for about 30 seconds, and then turned around, ran over to his toys, got a ball and went and gave it to Noah. It was so cute! (For those of you who don't know, Brock is OBSESSED with balls and all things sports.) Since then Brock has made sure Noah has a ball. If he wants the ball he had given to Noah, he will give him another ball and take the one he gave.
Brock has actually been sick this whole week. He got sick while I was in the hospital, he went to the doctors yesterday and he has Entro Virus - so we have not taught him to give Noah hugs or kisses yet - but he does want to hold him every once and a while.

After thought:
I just wanted to show everyone what a sweet husband I have. When we got home from the hospital this was on our shelf. "Two roses for our two boys" Jason said. (notice the two Willow Trees). After I had Brock I got a 12 roses - one for each hour I was in labor - After I had Noah I was kind of sad because I wondered if he was just going to get one rose, since I was only in labor for one hour (how silly - wanting to be in labor longer just to get more flowers!) - but he came up with this instead - so sweet! It made me cry - I LOVE MY TWO BOYS - there is nothing better!

Brock Meets Noah

Brock did not know quite what to think when he met Noah. Jason brought him to the hospital on Wednesday night. It is funny how they seem to know this baby is different than all the other babies they see. When I hold someone elses baby he does not care - but he had a special interest in Noah as soon as he saw him.Things have been ok since we got home in regards to Brock. He is more interested than I hoped he would be - and he is quite jealous. He does not like when I feed him, but is now use me holding him, but now he does not like it when Jason holds him. I am nervous for Jason to go back to work - but I think I can manage.


My friends came to visit me in the hospital. They all went to dinner together to celebrate my friend, Megan's new baby. Unfortunately I stole her thunder and they came and visited me after their dinner. (Left to right top row: Abbie, Niki, and Ali - Middle row: Megan and Katrina - Bottom row: Samuel, Abigail (both Megan's), Noah, and Me)

Noah

Our little boy was born (unexpectedly) this last week at 4:04 PM. He was 6 lbs and 6 oz and was 18 inches long. He is so wonderful. Below is the story (the unexpected part).

In the morning and early afternoon I felt great, no contractions, no pain, went and ran errands with Brock. Got home around 1:30 pm. Fed Brock Lunch and put him down for a nap.

2:00 pm - Got Brock down, picked up the house, and made me lunch

2:20 pm - Felt first contraction. I have been having daily contractions for about 6 weeks (ever since my placenta tore) - so this was nothing unusual - I sat on the couch to eat my lunch and was just going to wait for them to go away.

2:35 pm - Talked to Jason at work. Said jokingly "I am about 75% sure I am in labor." My contractions were 5 minutes apart - but not heavy or painful. He told me to call him when I made up my mind.

2:45 pm - Got in bath to make contractions stop (that is how I got them to stop in the past - I just needed to relax)

3:00 pm - Contractions were now 3 and a half to 4 minutes apart, but still light and easy. I live in Provo but was delivering at Alta View in Sandy, so I knew I had a long drive to get to the hospital. I decided I would rather be safe than sorry, so I called Jason and told him I wanted to go be "checked - but was pretty sure I was not in full labor." I told him I would find someone from the ward to drive me to Sandy and he should meet me at the hospital (he works in Draper).

3:13 pm - I called my neighbor, Jess, to come over and help me get mine and Brock's bags together. I start calling around to find a ride.

3:20 pm - I could not find a ride to Sandy so I called Jason at work to tell him to just come get me to take me - we have plenty of time. My contractions were still pretty light.

3:45 pm - I had my first hard contraction and felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I went into the bathroom and before I got there, I had another hard contraction and felt like I needed to push - so I did (big mistake) - once I pushed I felt the baby crown. I freak out - and went out onto my couch - I told my neighbor I was not going to make it to Alta View. I have another hard contraction and start screaming. She runs out onto the balcony and sees that Jason is here. He runs in and tries to calm me down. With every contraction I felt Noah pushing his way down the birth canal - I am holding my legs together trying not to push. I tell Jason to call 911 - I was going to deliver the baby. He tells me I can make it - he picks me up carries me down our 3 flights of stairs and puts me in the car. Luckily Utah Valley Hospital is just 3 blocks from our house. On the way I tell him twice to pull over the baby is coming right now! He tells me I can wait.

3:58 pm - We arrive at the hospital. Jason pulls up front and runs in to get help. These 2 sweet old ladies come running out with a wheel chair. (Not to mention 2 missionaries standing right by the car - I am sure they are traumatized). Jason lifts me out of the car - I am SCREAMING and bleeding everywhere (Jason leaves the car running in front of the hospital). These 2 80 year old women RAN me into labor and delivery (Jason thought they were going to die) - I get put onto a bed - I am tearing my pants off saying - I have to push. A nurse says - "oh my gosh the baby is crowning." (no duh!). There was no OB on the floor - they issued a "code white" which means ANY doctor come quick. There was a family practice resident taking a nap that ran into the room. When he got in the nurse was holding Noah's head in. Jason was trying to get me to stop screaming, to relax, breath, and push. Finally I relax, breath, and push - and out he came. I came to later find out Noah's whole head came out with out me even pushing. He was born at 4:04 pm. No tearing, no epesiodomy, no drugs, no IV, they did not even know our name, they did not have time to even prop the bed up - I was flat on my back. It was so fast!

Wow - I put my son down for a nap with no contractions - and have a baby before he wakes up - how did that happen?? It was insane! I still can't believe it. Jason was amazing - he handles situations like that so well - he is so calm and logical and yet at the same time very caring and sweet. I COULD NOT HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT HIM! Noah is a very good, calm baby - We love him and are glad he was so excited to come to our family.

A Week of Good-Byes

This last week has been full of good byes for me. In the last 10 days I said good bye to my brother when we put him in the MTC, I said good bye to my uncle who suddenly died, and yesterday I said good bye to one of my best friends and neighbor Ashley Kapfer. It has been as sad week. (I was sure it was going to send me into labor with all the crying.) Let's just say I am excited to WELCOME a baby into my life - it will be a nice change of pace.

Ashley and I met almost 4 years ago when we were in the same BYU married student ward. I moved next door to her 2 years ago. We have shared a wall for the last 2 years and have loved it. She has 2 wonderful girls who have been basically Brock's siblings. I don't know what I am going to do without her. and I have NO IDEA what Brock is going to do with out them. They have been gone barely 24 hours and Brock has already been over there several times knocking on their door for them to come out and play - breaks my heart! This is the worst part of BYU married student wards - everyone leaves. It would not be so bad if I were leaving too - but we just seem to be stuck here.

Here is some pictures from yesterday. They are not great. They would not just sit still for a picture - and I could not get all 3 of them in a picture for the life of me. Oh well, I am glad they were playing their last few minutes together. We love you guys and miss you already!!




This is a family picture of the Kapfers at Christmas time. It occurred to me today and Ashley and I have no pictures of us together. BOO - it never occurred to us I guess.

My Uncle Steve

Yesterday evening my uncle Steve died at his home from a sudden heart attack. He is my mom's older brother, had turned 50 last month and has 6 kids at home (the youngest being 6), he was healthy and it was completely unexpected. All his kids were at home when it happened. This has come as a complete shock accompanied with a lot of "why?" questions. I know there are no answers to "why", other than the plan of salvation and we just need to have faith in Him and His plans. I am grateful for my knowledge of the gospel, and although it is comforting to know about eternal families and the resurrection, my heart goes out to my aunt and cousins. We love you all so much and we are here for you. I love my uncle Steve and will miss him greatly.

I had 2 friends die in high school just a few weeks before the end of the school year. At year book signing both their year books were there for their friends to sign. Later that night we were all reading what people wrote. In Jara's year book a good friend of hers, Dave Lilenquist, wrote, "work hard." I thought it was such a great message to her, what a great attitude. Dave understood that Ali and Jara were not just up in heaven "flying around and playing their harps", but they would be actively engaged in spreading the gospel and preparing for Christ's coming. There is a lot of work to be done there and just as we all knew Jara and Ali would be a part of it, I know Steve will be working hard, just as he did down here, to build the kingdom and spread the gospel. Dave taught me a great lesson that day about our responsibility in the plan of salvation and our attitude towards death, I have tried to maintain the same attitude since then. So to you, Steve, work hard.

Michael Leaves

My cute Brother Michael left on his mission on Wednesday. It was quite the week. I remember always saying, "when Michael and Daniel leave on their mission...", like it was this thing a million years away and would never really happen, and now he is gone and I still feel like we are waiting for that day. In my mind they are still 4 and 6 playing every kind of sport you can imagine in our yard. I love my brothers so much and am so proud of both of them. They are growing into great young men, and am excited to see Michael's growth in the next 2 years.

So I just have to say that Brock reminds me of my brothers everyday - he is like a carbon-copy. He is just this tan little boy that loves to be outside and play EVERY single sport there is (there will be a future post regarding Brock's sports - just still collecting pictures). Brock got almost all of his DNA from Jason - so from me he seems to have gotten my blond hair - and apparently some of my brothers traits. Everyday he reminds me of growing up with them. All three of them (Michael, Daniel, and Brock) are quite the athletes!

Katie and I are due just 3 weeks apart. I am due September 21 and she is due October 7. But she is going to be induced on September 30. It will be fun to have our babies so close.
I am getting bigger - in this picture I am 36 weeks - almost exactly one month from my due date! When Mike gets back there will be at least 2 more nieces and/or nephews that he will have never met (and at the rate I am going - maybe more :)

Another day at the pool

My friend, Jessica, offered to go swimming with me and Brock. I don't think I could do it myself and she has a little boy, Preston, who just likes to sit and play in the water. So I watched Preston, while she watched Brock. Brock is SO FUN to take swimming. He is such a fish. He especially loves to be in the deep end. He kicks his legs and swings his arms - just like he was swimming. He also loves to jump from the side into my arms and put his face in the water and blow bubbles. It was such a great day. If anyone else is willing to come help me - I would love to go once or twice before the end of summer (the pool doesn't open until 3 now).