As Requested

I have often mentioned on my blog things about my meal planning - often times people have left comments asking me to post what my weeks/months meals were. I know we ALL need help in coming up with new menu items. So, rather than posting what I was making this month (as requested in my last post) - I am just going to give you all my meals and my meal planning strategy.

I have a blank calender in front of me with this list (below). I go through and fill in the dates. I usually start with my chicken (since that is usually the cheapest dinners) - I do about 3 chicken meals a week - staggered of course. Then I do my Sunday dinners. Then I fill in the blanks with what ever meals I haven't done in a while. I have 2 or 3 meals I do twice a month (our staples). I leave about 4 or 5 dates blank for leftovers or days that we don't eat dinner at home (at parents house, party, wedding, etc). At the same time I put in my side dishes and vegetable, also simultaneously I make my grocery list for what I need for the month. I buy all my food in one grocery trip - minus the produce. Then I buy my perishables/produce on my weekly milk/egg run. So here is the list of my meals.

I am going to * my favorites

Chicken
*Chicken Broccoli and Rice
Parmesan Chicken
Balsamic Chicken
*Chicken Pot Pie
Chicken Cordon Blue
*Candied Chicken
Lemon Poppy Chicken
*Cajun Chicken
Chicken Fajitas
Mom’s Chicken Burritos
Chicken Enchiladas
*Prosciutto stuffed Chicken
Stuffing stuffed Chicken
Chicken Roll ups

Ground Beef
Spaghetti Pie
Meat Loaf
Tacos
Hamburgers
Spaghetti
Lasagna

Beef
Stew
Steaks
London Broil
French Dip
*Beef Noodle Bowl

Pork (pork of all varieties)
Stuffed Shells
Ham
Breaded Pork
Sweet and Sour Pork
Bowtie Sausage Pasta
Bacon Fried Rice
*Creamy Sausage Pasta
Trina’s Fajitas
BLT’s
Marinated Pork


Other
Cheese Stuffed Shells
Cheese Manicotti
Ravioli
Penne Pasta Bake
Mac and Cheese
Salmon
Omelets
Panikakers (crepes)
Pizza
Karli’s Pizza
Tomato Basil Rigatoni

I hope that helps someone.

On to other matters. Some thoughts about the new year. I have wanted to do a whole "new years resolution" type post and really organize my thoughts and have something profound to say. But here I sit on January 7 - still my head a jumbled mess. I have a million things I want to do/change and at the same time - I want to get rid of all of it.

The one thing I keep coming back to is finding more joy in motherhood - again.

To show my point I would like to share a story. A little over 2 years ago I was living in Provo, had Brock (18 months) and Noah (3ish months). Whenever we went out - which was everyday - but especially to the grocery store, I always got comments about how I had my hands full. And this was PROVO people - 2 kids in 2 years is not unheard of. Anyways, people were always telling me how crazy my life looked or how hard things must be for me. I always gave a smile and a little laugh and agreed with them, and then said, "but they are good kids." I remember SPECIFICALLY several times wanting to write a blog post about it (wish I would have). Because I never said what I wanted to say - which was: "I love it" "I am so happy, this is exactly what I want to be doing right now." I always wondered if I looked crazy, annoyed or frustrated because people always would say that - but I honestly never felt it (well of course on rare occasions, but that is true with one kid or 2 kids 5 years apart or whatever). I felt so much joy in my role as a mother on a daily, even hourly basis with my 2 little boys.

I want that back.

It mostly left when we moved last year. I think my to-do list just got bigger, with the house and preparing for Megan, and then having Megan. My time with the kids seems to come after an exhaustive list of menial chores and wasteful leisure. I still have great moments, and I am still rarely frustrated or annoyed, but my joyful moments seem to be lessening, and it comes at more "manufactured" times (if that makes sense). I used to feel it just building blocks on the ground, or coloring - events that occurred naturally. But now it seems that even those things (blocks and coloring) - don't occur naturally anymore, I have to schedule them into our day. I guess that is what is really bothering me, before my whole day was devoted to the kids, and I got my list done around them. For the past few months to a year, I feel the need to get my list done first - and then the kids - but I am finding out, my list is never done - so my time with the kids seems rushed, unorganized, or forced. I hate it.

Knowing this I have been thinking about how to change it - but it is a fine line. If I don't do SOME of my list (take a shower, get ready, clean the house, make a good breakfast) I just don't feel peace. The peace needs to be there to feel the joy. Is any of this making sense?? If it is could you please explain it to me - because I am lost.

Anyways... I guess that is why a new years post never happened - I obviously can't make sense of what I am feeling - I just know what I am missing, but lack a solution. I want my kids(family) to be the center of my life again. The WHOLE center - right now I often take the easy way out and try to fit in as much "me" time as I can (read blogs, check my mail, clean, take a nap, have a long shower, make dinner in peace) - so I get my kids distracted so I can do those things. I would have never done that in Provo - I would have saved all that for nap time or night time. But I feel "entitled" to use night time/nap time as a "relaxing" time rather than a "to-do time" - and I "to-do" while the kids are awake and distracted. This has to stop. Wow - I think I just figured it out. Who ever said writing is therapeutic?? Genius.

Thanks for listening and being apart of that crazy journey - are you as exhausted as I am?