Title Picture:

I know our top picture is incredibly out of date - but I love it because it captures perfectly my life at one point. So it will stay.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Daughters

This post could come off as very sexist.  So sorry to those who of you out there (mainly my friend Ashley and my SIL Kasey) who may be offended by this. :)

It is weird how different boys and girls seam to be.  Even with very little difference in their up bringing - they seem to be very naturally different.  As these differences have arisen, I have started to change my parenting.  Since Megan has gotten older, and as I have added another girl I have started to become very aware of my actions around Megan - specifically when it comes to my "homemaking" duties.

Jason often tells me that I vacuum too fast.  He says that the vacuum does not have time to pick up the dirt pieces and if I vacuumed slower it would be better.  A few weeks ago while at my moms house I noticed that I vacuum at the exact same speed my mother vacuums.  It got me thinking about how many other things I do exactly like my mom - not because she taught me to do it that way - only because that is how I saw it done and so my brain told me that is how to do it.

Jason blessed Madison on Sunday (post to come soon - hopefully) and in her blessing he said that she would learn how to love and serve by my example.  Wow - kinda a lot of pressure.

I was making dinner on Tuesday and Megan was sitting next to me on the counter "helping".  All my kids love to help me make dinner.  But when the boys were helping me it was just a fun activity that I NEVER gave much thought too.  I didn't think I was "molding" them or "teaching" them or even being an example of how to cook.  We were just passing time with an activity.  But when Megan was up there with me - everything I did was thoughtful.  I realized that everything she saw me do could potentially become part of her way of doing something - and that she was going to learn how to cook, and clean, and do laundry, and take care of children, and love her husband, and do church callings, simply from watching me - not necessarily from me teaching her - just like I did with my mom.  I never put that much pressure on myself when I raise my boys - only now with my girls.  "They" do say that your greatest example is your same sex parent - only now am I starting to realize why.
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3 comments:

Karen said...

I can see what you're saying and I agree that a daughter's most important role model is her mother. However, it was my dad who taught me how to vacuum. He was the one who taught me to go over the spot multiple times and to do it slowly so that you would get all of the dirt. It was his mother, though, who taught him that, so credit needs to go back to a mother.

When you talked about cooking with your boys it was just an activity. You don't think they're watching your every move and that when they go on missions and live away at college with roommates that they'll need to cook for themselves? It is just as important for them to learn how to cook, clean and do laundry.

As I read this I just thought of my mother-in-law who raised seven sons and no daughters. Those seven (men now) know how to cook and actually enjoy it very much. They all kind of have their "specialties" with cooking. Do they do it all the time? No, they're at work providing for their families, but it is something they know how to do and like to do when they get a chance. They are seven men that I look up to for their natural compassion with babies. It was something that I noticed early in our marriage. They all love to hold babies and don't just leave that up to the women.

I think your daughters are very lucky to have you and will become great wives and mothers because of your example, just don't underestimate what your example does to your boys. Sorry for the rant. All of these thoughts just came to mind when I read this, as all of the thoughts came to you for your post.

October 14, 2011 at 7:03 AM
Jill T said...

Of course you want to teach these things to your girls, you love your life and these are your responsibilities. It seems natural that you would want to teach her the things that you do the best way you know how. I find myself brushing my teeth and hair thoughtfully now!

Missed you yesterday,
Jill

October 16, 2011 at 9:52 AM
Megan Loves Life said...

So when Abby thinks that a spoonful of honey is a perfectly acceptable afternoon snack, you mean she learned that from me!?! No way ;) That is like my guilty sweet treat in the afternoon if I need a pick-me-up and I never served it to my kids or talked to them about it or even realized they saw me doing it. Then all of a sudden they are asking for spoonfuls of honey when they want a snack! My eyes were opened... I know what you mean!

October 18, 2011 at 11:16 PM

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