I may have already posted this in a post somewhere. But I found this as a draft and I thought I should post it. So if it is posted twice it is not to magnify this problem - I just wanted to document it.
"I have been having a hard time in my mothering - different than my problems have been in the past. After a little bit (or a lot) of soul searching I came up with a few reasons. One was my kids. I found great joy in my children being home and being little. I had several times a day when I would have those moments of pure joy where I felt like my heart would burst. They were just easy little moments - putting together a puzzle, pushing on a swing, sliding down a slide, feeding ducks, reading a book - I would just look at them and I would be filled with joy. Well turns out that is an endorphin kick. I don't have those anymore - and while I am not sad that I don't have those moments - my body has not chemically adjusted to having these endorphin shots several times a day. I now have those maybe a few times a month. I am now just the referee in the house - telling them what to do when they get home from school - sorry - but I find NO joy in that. And while I am enjoying this stage of mothering and I find it just as appealing and rewarding - I do not have those joy filled moments."
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