Sick

I was sick for a while during December - luckily Jason had several vacation days he had to use or lose, so he was able to stay home and help.  During these days I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to share.

• The kids are so much better for him.  It is very unfair.  He was able to solve almost all of my parenting problems.  Some stuck but most of them returned as soon as he went back to work and I took back over.  Why?  The obvious answer is I let them get away with it.  I REALLY don't agree and don't see it.  I feel I am just as consistent as Jason - he disagrees.  I think the male voice just commands more respect.
• Jason took all the kids to Walmart one morning to get some groceries.  It was the first time he had all four by himself grocery shopping.  He said he loved it because it made him feel like a super hero. Several people (mostly) women stopped him and told him how wonderful he was for having all these children at the store, or how great they were, or what a good dad he was.  People helped him and smiled at him.  I told him that all people say to me is "you sure are busy" or look at me like I don't know how to use birth control.
• There is almost nothing more satisfying than hearing Jason have some of the same parental or house managing problems that I have.  Laying up in my bed and hearing the same tantrums at the same time kind of made me smile.  He also finally agreed with me that laundry is hard to get done and is never ending.
• It is really hard to give up total control.  But once you do; its hard to get it or even want it all back. :)
• If I die my children would be fine - Jason rocks.  However, just so you can all be really sad if it happens, if I die I want you to all know I would be really really mad in heaven.  No one could say, she is in a happier place, or she is happy now.  Because I will be SO MAD to not get to raise my children.  Even if/when I see the greater purposes and have all the knowledge - I put in a lot of work on the front end and am really looking forward to the next 10 years - so if I die one day soon - know that I am furious.  :)