I hadn't given this topic much thought before - and then about 6 months ago I read a post from a blog that I follow and she mentioned that she knows that when she is having a bad day, specifically a bad mothering day, she knows that Facebook doesn't "fill her cup, but instead helps deplete it".
I think that I thought that taking 10 or 15 minutes to check email, Facebook, and blogs was a good check-out moment or a good pick-me-up, but after her comment I started to really check myself and I noticed that it was true. Never once when I was feeling overwhelmed or frustrated with my kids or household responsibilities, did I ever feel refreshed after spending 15 minutes or so online. I enjoyed myself in the process, but it never refreshed me. So what does? and what doesn't? I have been keeping A mental list the last few months, and here is what I figured out.
Fill's my cup:
- Cleaning something
- specifically - picking up toys, cleaning off counters, sweeping, or vacuuming
- Getting everyone dressed, including myself (also make-up and hair done)
- Brush my teeth - even if I have already done it and it is the middle of the day - it makes me feel refreshed.
- Making a good lunch just for me to eat
- Going outside
- Showering all the kids - it is daunting to think about doing it, but an hour later I feel like the five of us could conquer the world.
- Drink a big glass of water
- Going somewhere - just me and my kids.
- A girls night over at my neighbors house.
- Doing my morning scripture time.
- Engage with the kids in some sort of activity where everyone is engaged - but solo (parallel play basically) - like play-dough, coloring, water colors, or building with blocks.
- Good music
Things I know that don't fill my cup:
- Getting online
- Putting shows on for the kids (unless in the beginning I specify the time amount and I use that time to do the above things rather than "checking out".)
- Eating junk food (unless everyone is napping or sleeping - than a good dessert does my mood wonders.)
- Going on an outing to meet up with friends or going outside and talking to neighbors while my kids play.
- Playing a board game with the kids or reading with them (basically cooperative or interactive play) - if I am already frustrated these activities will just exacerbate that.
4 comments:
Thanks for posting this. I will have to keep this in my mind and think of what fills my cup and what doesn't. You are an incredible example, always!!
Thanks for this post. I needed the reminder :) I'm going to make my own version of this in my journal! Love you
Thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog about my family! I doubted anyone even reads my blog anymore (since I am so hit and miss) so i appreciate your sweet thoughts! We just feel so blessed for such miracles to be working in my family. Thanks for being excited as well. :)
I think it's interesting that you noticed chatting with neighbors isn't a cup filler when you are depleted. Especially since some of these are good things. I think we all too often forget the "when" is just as important as the "what". I've been struggling lately with this stuff. I think I will have to make my own list. Lack of sleep makes me a very "not fun" mom but I also need to learn to "push forward kindly" despite the lack of sleep, patience, etc. Miss you Jamie.
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