Birds Nest

Earlier this spring we noticed we had a birds nest in our Asian Pear tree.  It was too high up to see if there were any eggs in it so we watched and waited.  One day I was outside with the kids and heard a little chirping.  I looked up and saw these little guys staring back at me.

I became a little obsessed with them (I think we all did).  There was a mom and a dad and 4 babies (just like our family Jason said).  The mom and dad were so good.  They spent all day going back and forth bringing worms and berries to their hungry children.  It was funny how my maternal instincts kicked in when I knew there was another mom with young babies in my back yard.  I loved those babies and their sweet parents.  I would tell the kids to be quiet or come inside when I thought the babies were sleeping - and the mom and dad bird did not like when us or the kids got too close to the tree - so I made sure we stayed our distance.  I felt so honored that they felt my backyard and my tree were the perfect place to start their little family (I know I am being silly - but that is really how I felt)

This is the dad - so handsome.

Then one morning at about 7:00 am I heard frantic chirping for about 15 minutes straight.  I looked out the window and saw the mom and dad bird flying frantically around the backyard almost yelling.  I went to see what the problem was, I saw that their babies had hopped out of the nest during the night (totally normal) and had hopped down our window well, which had grates on them (not normal).  The baby birds couldn't get out and the parents couldn't get down to them to feed them.  I did some studying online and learned the best thing to do was to build a sort of stair way for them to try and climb out of - or at least something for the parents to climb down on to feed them. 

The babies were stuck down there for about 6 hours and me and the kids sat in our basement the whole day and watched as the parents continued to carry worms and berries down to their babies.  We could watch UP CLOSE the mom bird putting the worm in the baby mouth, take that Sid the Science Kid!  It was awesome. 

Eventually the babies hopped out, then hopped around our backyard for two days!  I wouldn't let the kids go out, I didn't want them to step on them or keep the parents from feeding them.  I just wanted them to have the best "nursery" in my back yard.  And then one day they flew away.  It was sad for all of us.  Our backyard feels lonely with out our little bird family.  Truth be told, we lost one.  We don't know why.  There was just a dead baby bird in the back yard one day.  I cried.

Boise

I took the kids and went to Boise to see my friend Karli before she has her fourth baby.  I had wanted to take the trip for some time, but was unsure about the drive with Madison.  I decided she was old enough and I thought it would go well.  The way there was great... the way back... not so much.  I ended up calling Jason in tears at Brigham City telling him I couldn't make it the rest of the way home.  Madison had been crying since almost Boise and no amount of stopping would help.  He gave me a pep talk, I stopped for about 30 more minutes, and made it the rest of the way home.  But it was well worth it.  It was a lot of fun.

Since Karli has moved away when she comes and visits we do things with mostly our old play group - which is great, but we don't get much one on one time.  But we got plenty during our weekend.  Our kids played great together. Payton and Brock included Noah really well, and Megan just fit in with Brooklyn and Lydia - soon she is having another girl which will work out great with Madison in a few years.  I left pretty sure that I want to move to Boise. 

With all the fun we had I only took two pictures.  And pretty lame ones at that.  The girl in the tree with below is a friend of Payton's.

And Megan is not picking her nose, but she sure looks like it.

Anyways, we had a great time, and wish we could do it more often.

Venting

The number one reason for not blogging lately is that I haven't downloaded my pictures from my camera onto my computer.  Seems like such an easy task, but somehow debilitating.  Now I am scared to do it because I will be so overwhelmed.  I still have Brock and Megan's birthdays on there from APRIL.

Number two reason is time.

I had a break down yesterday, several actually.  I just might start complaining, I shouldn't "air my dirty laundry", but... I really want too. 

This is hard.  I wondered if I wanted to say that, you know, out loud, on my blog.  But I think sometimes there is power and strength is acknowledging that something is hard.  Sometimes, when something is really hard, almost too hard, I say to myself, "I am a strong woman".  Sounds lame, but it is a small pep talk that always seems to work.

Anyways back to the NOW.  Yesterday everything kinda came to a head and I felt overwhelmed with the realization that I simply can not get everything done that I need to get done.  And if I even TRY to get it all done than I am not the mom that I want to be and spend most the day trying to get my kids to leave me alone so I can get everything done.  Yesterday all I could think was, "I think if I had 48 hours straight of no kids I could get my to-do list done", but the worst part about a home-makers to do list is the moment something is crossed off it is almost immediately put back at the bottom of the list.  So I probably need 48 hours every month.

This week was just the perfect storm.  Jason got a new schedule - so I am adjusting to that.  I am the scout master and I have my pack meeting on Thursday.  I have 3 new scouts coming in, two or three advancements in each den, a bazillion awards, an arrow of light, and a cub scout going into scouts.  My girls are sick, really sick.  I can not go any where.  We have no food.  I really need a good 2 hours at Walmart and a Costco run, but first I need to meal plan and make a list.  My whites have been in the dryer since Saturday begging to be folded and put away.  I hate folding whites.  I have a dishwasher full of dirty dishes and no dish soap - boo.  My bathroom desperately needs to be cleaned, and I mean DESPERATELY.  Those are all the most pressing.  Everything else can wait.  But those things nag at me and nag at me while I sit holding a sobing, sick child while three others are simultaneously clamoring for my attention.

I wrote this post in my head yesterday, kinda a downer, but it was how I felt.  Actually that is the sugar coated version of how I felt.  I cried to myself for a good hour or so and then sobbed it out to Jason at 10:00 at night (that is my midnight - did I mention I am SO tired I am non-functioning after 8:30).  Then swore to do and be better.  Today has actually been a really good day.  We went on a nature scavenger hunt and then made collages of what we found.  We played superheros with capes in the backyard with a really ferocious wind.  That was a lot of fun.  I have tried very very hard to be patient, but the sound of four children whining just gets me and I feel like I have to scream.  I have been known to go in my back yard and just yell.  But right now all four children are napping (very very rare), I have dinner in a crockpot, and for some reason I felt that it was more beneficial to write down my feelings rather than tackle the very to-do list I am complaining about.  Funny huh.

Now I want to warn someone.  Several months ago I wrote a similar whiny post (I guess that is where my kids get it) and I had a neighbor who had just had a baby THAT WEEK bring me cookies.  So to you, thank you - but I do not complain to get something :) Unlike my kids :)

Duck Pond

Today Madison ate the same thing for dinner that we did - once that starts life starts getting easy-peasy.  On the flip side she also unrolled her first roll of toilet paper - once things like that start life starts getting hard - growing up is a constant trade off.

On another note when I did my Mapleton post a few weeks ago I forgot to mention that we went to the DUCK POND on BYU campus.  My favorite!  We parked at our old apartment complex and walked there and back.  Every square inch of that walk is riddled with some of my most wonderful mothering moments.  I could literally see my 16 month old Brock walking up the ramp - the memories were tangible.

They actually redid the whole duck pond and the trail leading up to it since I have last been.  It is very beautiful now.  If we still lived there we would walk that trail EVERY SINGLE day.  We could have spent hours and hours there - days and days even.  I actually didn't like the "updates" on the duck pond.  Now there is a board walk around it.  It is more beautiful but now it looks all "official" and makes me feel like there are more rules (oh - and the signes that have rules on them, that helps too) - like if my child fell in someone would write me a ticket.  Before it was just a hole in the ground and kids were free to explore their environment - now its like, "don't touch" "get down" "don't run"  - I don't care for outings like that.

We went with my good friend Jill and her baby Tess (same age as Mads).

An example of "don't do that" - Brock throwing a rock and Noah climbing off the board walk - all against the new rules. 

Someof my favorite Duck Pond Memories

http://www.jamieherbert.blogspot.com/2008/08/duck-pond.html

http://www.jamieherbert.blogspot.com/2009/04/few-of-our-favorite-things.html

http://www.jamieherbert.blogspot.com/2009/04/nap-not-soon-enough.html

Farm Country

I am soo behind on blogging.  It is almost June and I have not even finished April!  Before I start this post I will do a little justifying as to why I am so behind (other than 4 little children and a husband with a crazy schedule), but for the last few months we have been living in the 20th century over at the Herbert house.  Our cell phones don't work in our home, thanks to Verizon for switching our tower and not giving us a new one - we are just getting the run around with them (we don't have a home line - yet) - so to make any phone calls we have to go sit in the Harmon's parking lot.  For the last year our computer has been dying - but we just kept holding on, then with a higher than expected tax return (thanks to another year of lay-offs - which is better??) we decided to get a new one.  Found a good deal on Amazon...oh wait ...2 days after we got it, it malfunctioned...shipped it back... Amazon shipped us another one....2 weeks later....awesome....set it up....it broke after 2 hours...told Amazon to suck-it forget it and we just wanted our money back.  Then went to Best Buy and and we are now on day number 2 with this one.  So we have had serious cell phone, computer, and Internet problems.  It has been kinda hard but kinda nice since I don't have much time for these things anyway - it helps keep me in the moment, which is where I really need to be.

But back to our Farm Country outing back in April.  Karli was in town with her kids.  She did a whole day at Thanksgiving Point (Farm Country, Dinosaur Museum, and Gardens).  I hit Farm Country with her with all 4 kids, went back home, turned the girls over to Jason for naps, and went back to the Garden's with just the boys. 

Since Karli moved we have had a serious lack of Thanksgiving Pointness.  This was Megan's first time riding a horse!  I love Thanksgiving Point and think I am going to do a pass there next year. 

For your viewing pleasure:

Feeding the goats.

 Megan is deathly terrified of cats and dogs - but for some reason loves to pet goats, horses and cows and lets them eat right our of her hand. 

Maddie is such a Brock.  I tried and tried to get her to smile at me (she really was happy) and she would only look at me like this.  If any of you have been reading me for a long time... you might remember this Farm Country post.  I had the SAME problem with Brock. 

 Brock HAD to ride the big horse... he told me so the whole way to Farm Country

 Noah shot spider webs the whole time on the horse - I LOVE this boy.

Sky helping out the little ones - he is such a good dad!

My kids seem to be almost growing out of their "love for tractors" stage.  It it sad.  I remember talking with Jason last summer about how one day we will be driving and I will pass a back-hoe and no one will mention it - or worse, I will yell "Tractor" and they will not respond with "is it moving?" or "where" and instead say, "Lame, mom".  That day is not hear yet, but it might be soon.  Anyways, they were still thrilled with a tractor they could climb all over, but were way bummed they couldn't go inside.

And a good'ol hay ride.

Random

a spare minute

I wish I could find the time to blog every day.  I have so many thoughts and ideas about things to blog about and then weeks and months go by and all I really blog about are things I took pictures of and a "travel journal".  For some odd reason at 7:21 in the evening (Jason is not home right now) I have a moment to blog.

I am in my bedroom and my window is open (because it is SO HOT!) and I can hear my kids playing outside.  I think that is the most beautiful sound in the world and seems to heal my heart instantly.   It doesn't matter how frustrated or sad or overwhelmed I am - to hear or see my children playing together, or even by themselves, instantly warms me and brings a smile to my face.  They play together so good - I love it.

Brock starts kindergarten soon.  I had no intention of writing this tonight - but "playing together" got me thinking about it.  I am really really sad.  Not for Brock, he needs it and will love it, and I am really excited for him.  I am just sad that this chapter of my life is over.  I have loved it more than I ever expected.  I never intended to not send Brock to preschool, I am a strong believer in preschool and really wanted it for him.   But the last few years have been a struggle financially and I just couldn't justify it in the budget.  But regardless of the missed opportunities I have loved having all my children home.  I love that our schedule is ours and we do what ever we want when ever we want.  Because of this I have been able to keep to a pretty tight routine and schedule, which I believe breeds better children.  I am sad that I will not be able to give my girls the same things I gave my boys.  They are more likely to be woken up from naps to pick up children from school or other activities, or just take a 20 minute nap in the car in between carpools.  I fear we won't be able to take last minute trips to wheeler farm or the zoo because I have to pick someone up in 30 minutes or because we have to get home work done.  It will be an interesting experiment though - to see if it really does breed better children - or if a non-strict-routine and fun outings will suit them just as well.

For all my sadness and fear, I am not going to let it overwhelm me - although I honestly think it could.  Because I am really excited for this next phase of life, and it is coming quickly.  Actually, specifically, I am excited for the next real phase - when they are all in school.  I have visions of homework, reading time, volunteering in the class room, and being on the PTA, doing all my errands and cleaning while they are in school, and spending evenings at soccer practice, scouts, and ballet.  Doesn't it sound picture perfect?  But I think the next 4 years will be a challenge for me.  Balancing some in school and some at home. 

I was just reading through this post and it sounded way too rosey.  So just for a reality check - Megan threw up all over the couch about an hour ago.  Right in the middle of making dinner.  In the worst way too - she got it all over her, her blanket, 3 pillows, a couch cushion, and the floor.  arg.  I concluded she needs to chew her food more because I could identify everything in the throw-up - so gross.  Then Madison fell all the way down our stairs (barrel rolled) while I was working with raw chicken.  It is funny because about 10  minutes before it happened I wondered what I would do - if I would wash the chicken off first or just grab her.  Turns out I would just grab her - because that is what I did.  Then she needed a bath to wash off the raw chicken.  It has been a rough night.  And to make matters worse I have NO dessert waiting for me tonight after the kids go to bed.  I LIVE for my 9:00 pm dessert - and I have nothing.  Sad.

Trips to Mapleton

We have taken a few trips to Mapleton lately to stay with Jason's parents.  The first was totally last minute.  We were getting our house painted (YEA!...finally!!) and although the painter assured me that we could sleep there at night - after one night it was obvious that we could not - so I called my mother in law at 7:00 the next morning and asked her if me and kids could come stay with her for a couple of days.  The best thing about the Herbert's house is that they have everything I need to stay.  I hardly have to pack much - just the children and some clothes.  She has everything else already for us. 

The very next weekend we came and stayed 3 days with them.  Jason came this time and watched the kids all day while I went to BYU's Women's Conference for two days.  It was the best thing ever!  First off Jason was so nice and let me go stress free.  He kept saying, I will take care of it all.   I left early in the morning and came home pretty late (like 8 am to 5 pm).  I was uplifted and spiritually fed.  I went to classes on being a covenant woman, mothering, scripture study, prayer, patience, and that is just to name a few.  It was so wonderful.  And the best part was that I really missed my kids so much and came home so ready to be with them and be a better mom. 

Sometimes I find the more time I spend away from home the more time I WANT to spend away.  Not this time.  It really helped me fill my cup.

Grandpa Herbert had knee surgery a few weeks before we came and was using a walker.  Madison thought it was something fun to play with.  She loves her grandpa.  Whenever he came out she would crawl right over to him.

They also have a really fun yard, with fountains, water falls, bridges, rocks, mountains, etc.  The kids played and played and played.

I really wanted a picture of all four of them standing on the bridge smiling at me.... they did not...they won.

Easter pictures

Only look at this post if you promise not to judge or be annoyed at the over load of pictures (especially of Megan).

We were ready particularly early on Easter Sunday Morning - Jason was still sleeping - so I decided to try a photo shoot.  I am not sure why... the kids weren't being very cooperative... although Megan LOVED her dress and thought she looked so pretty and wanted pictures - but would not hold still.  Any ways I just went ahead and included them all.  All in all I didn't get any GREAT ones - but they are all pretty cute.  Brock took the one's with me in it - he is loving that lately.

  

And we got our neighbor to snap a picture after church - and don't be fooled by my smile - I have a death grip on Noah - he did not want to be in the picture.