status report

I wanted to give a little status report about my vow to "let things go" and enjoy my time with the kids.

Things are going well.  I have completely shifted my way of thinking and it has been great.  I used to think of my house being messy as a "failure" in my day - now I have trained myself to think of it as a badge of honor.  When I glance around at a messy house or come home to a messy house I think "I chose to put my children first".  I had to condition myself to start to think this way - and now I hardly notice the mess.  Today was Monday (my old cleaning day) and it was the first Monday that I didn't feel like I should be cleaning, in fact I didn't even remember it was cleaning day until evening time.  There are SO many things that have been scaled down in our house and lives and it feels so good, and I am having a lot more precious moments with my kids and saying "yes" way more than I am saying "no" or "later". 

For example a couple of weeks ago it BARELY snowed.  But it was the first "snow" of the year.  The kids REALLY wanted to put ALL their snow clothes on and go outside.  Seriously a light jacket would have sufficed - but they all wanted everything on.  So we did - and I was so glad.  I love just saying yes rather than putting off their requests.  I have realized that this was the kind of mom I was to Brock and when Noah was really young - I lost her when I bought the house and had Megan - it feels so good to have found her again.

Megan has really discovered her dolls.  Almost every time Madison wakes up, Megan goes and grabs her doll and puts her to bed in Madison's bassinet.  She tries to put a diaper on her doll, dresses and  undresses her constantly, and even uses a nose sucker to try and suck out her nose.  I love playing dolls with her.  Her new FAVORITE thing right now is play dough.  If anyone says "what do you want to do" she says play dough.  For the last two weeks we have played play dough 2 or 3 times a day.   

So emotionally things have gotten better.  I am spending good quality alone time with each of  my children several times a day, along with some great "boy" time and "girl" time, and some good time with just the 3 older ones.  A few weeks ago I would have thought it was impossible to fit all that in - but what had to be cut was the cleaning and getting me and everyone else ready everyday.  I realized that the constant picking up was adding up to hours of my day.  I was just constantly picking things up all day. Now I pick the house up twice a day - during naps and after bedtime, I do stay on top of my dishes and clean up after every meal, still.  The person it is affecting the most is Jason - he really likes a "picked-up" house.  I was probably doing it 80% for him - he is being so nice not to say anything and support me it taking this time off - but I know it bothers him.  Thanks honey!  I put make-up on only if I have something special to go do that day (outings with the kids don't count) and I wait until I have to leave - so I only usually have my hair and makeup done 2 or 3 times a week - counting church.  And we have often gone to the store or somewhere all wearing pajama's (something I would have labeled as "lazy" before).  I  have discovered that the story or Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42) to me is not about 2 separate women, but the battle inside myself to choose "the good part".  Sometimes when I find myself being "tempted" to do something else during my day other than be with the kids I whisper to myself "choose the good part".

In other news - we got some actual good snow and we built our first snowman (by "we" I mean the boys and Jason) - he had a pumpkin head - the boys loved him (all three).