Air Conditioner

Disclaimer:  I have reread this post several times over the last week or so trying to decide if I wanted to post it.  Please know my intentions are completely innocent.  I recognize that this could come off as very self righteous and judgmental - but know that it is not in any way me feelings or intent.  However, these are truly my feelings and I am just so shocked at my own feelings, that for humorous purposes I wanted to post them - just because they are so bizarre.  But in no way do I think I am "right" - just a little insane :)

I mentioned this in my "confessions" area in my side bar - but I have decided that it deserves it's own post.  About a month ago we got central air in our house - nice right??  We have not had air conditioning our whole marriage.  In our first "white crumbly" house we had a very small window one in just one room; it was not even large enough to cool the room down - you had to stand directly in front of it and even then you could barley feel it.  Then in our THIRD story apartment in Provo we had a very very old and hardly effective wall unit that, again, only (and hardly) cooled down our front room.  I went through 3 pregnancies in that third story apartment - super hot.  Then in this house we inherited a broken swamp cooler - cool if we laid under it - but leaked constantly and produced HUGE utilities bills - so we hardly ran it.

Basically what I am trying to say is that I learned to be hot.  It was just kind of a way of life.  Sure I complained about it ALL THE TIME, but I survived.  I had a system, a system of strategically positioned fans, timely opening and closing of windows throughout the day and night to get the perfect amount of air circulation.  My cooking was planned in increments throughout the day so my kitchen never got too hot.  I was intimately familiar with the outside temperature - I KNEW when it had been a hot day - our life revolved around it.

Well now that I have an air conditioner I feel... very uncomfortable.  Not temperature wise, but emotionally uncomfortable.  This is going to be hard to explain, but try to stay with me.

I feel like, "who am I to be comfortable all the time"?  No matter what I do in my home, no matter how hot it is outside my house will always be 78 degrees - does that really seem fair? Or even necessary?  I am outside playing with my kids or on a walk on a 95 degree day - hot and sweaty and we walk into our house and it is cool and breezy! - it seems... excessive and almost indulgent.  Even on top of that... if we are not going to be home all day I can program it so it stays warmer while we are gone (to save money) and have it come on so our house is cool when we come home and go to bed, now I am not telling you that because I think you don't know what a programmable thermostat is  - but to let you know how luxurious I think it is. And not luxurious in a good way, but in an impractical and overly gratifying way.  Really... why?

I think of people living a century ago - particularly women.  What would they think?  Would they be jealous or think we were glutinous.  And now an AC is not even a luxury anymore - it is what is expected.  Like how could we even LIVE with out one.  People have told me since we moved into this house, "you HAVE to get AC", but for thousands of years people didn't have an AC - were they stronger than us?  Less whiny?  Less entitled?

It was sad for me to realize last week we had a day that went above 100 and I had NO IDEA - I was shocked at how self absorbed I had been and how I had just stayed in my wonderfully cooled house, oblivious to the truth in the weather.  I felt... out of touch.

I know this should just be turned into gratitude.  And it has.  Before, I scoffed at the price of an AC... 3,000 dollars - on the low end - I thought it was way too much money for something that should be common place.  That is why it took us 2 years - but now I realize that it is such a luxury, and we should have to pay a lot for it.  And as for the added electricity bill...worth it.  If I find myself ever complaining at the "high cost of running our ac" I will realize how far I have fallen - because it truly is such a luxury and we should have to pay for luxury.