Alone

This was a post I just found in my drafts that I wrote back in August - during the first week of school.  So it is a little out of order.

The week after school started I took Maddie to go swimming.  It was weird.  She was all alone.  And so was I.  She is a great swimmer now and doesn't need me to get in with her.  But she also didn't have anyone to play with.  It was strange for both of us.  I sat and read the Ensign.  Madison just swam around the empty pool.  

This will be an adjustment for the both of us.  I haven't cried as much as I thought I would.  I do if I think about it too long.  Knowing those days are past.  On the second day of school I wrote Jason a text it said:
"The weirdest this about the kids being in school, is that every time I turn around the house is as clean as it was a minute ago.  It is very strange.  No random books out.  No random socks and shoes.  No legos get put on the floor.  It just stays clean - all morning.  In truth, I do not like it.  It is weird, I just kind of realized today that i don't think I have ever really been in the house with out the kids.  It's quiet.  Its clean.  It's lonely.  But I've gotten a lot done."

I am very interested to really see what this next stage is like.  Because right now I can't imagine it.